


Not Like Us

by GravenTimes



Category: Game Grumps, SuperMega Show, Video Blogging RPF, supermega
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Blow Jobs, Bottom Matt Watson, But honestly verse supermega, Coming In Pants, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drug Use, Dry Humping, Dry Orgasm, Emotionally Repressed, Exploration, Fingerfucking, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Kink Exploration, Loneliness, M/M, Making Out, Marijuana, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Nipple Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Party, Pining, Porn, Pornography, Prostate Massage, Prostate Milking, Prostate Orgasm, Questioning, Sloppy Makeouts, Slow Burn, Smoking, Top Ryan Magee, Voice Kink, dan/suzy/arin if you squint and turn your head to the side, mastrubation, some nice soft stuff, you know?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2020-07-27 13:15:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 57,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20046628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GravenTimes/pseuds/GravenTimes
Summary: More tags to come as updated. Explicit but NSFW parts are marked if you want to skip it.Still, the two found themselves seeing each other more often than most friends due because of their job and overlapping social circles. Because of the time they spent with each other, they grew to know each other pretty well and nearly cause their brains to link up when they were joking around or cause tunnel vision when a disagreement broke out.A journey of discovery, idiotic moments, nervousness and more.





	1. Little Japanese Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Ryan go out with friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first posted fanfiction on this site, and my second posted fic ever. I posted one a long time ago that was a joke, and in all seriousness horrible.  
If you like this and want to connect, leave me a comment or follow me on tumblr @gravetimes

* * *

It had been a while since they decided to move out from the apartment they previously shared. Working together and living together at the same time ended up being more stressful than fun. Ryan moved in with a friend of a friend, and Matt found a listing he was able to afford with the Tucker brothers. Still, the two found themselves seeing each other more often than most friends due because of their job and overlapping social circles. Because of the time they spent with each other, they grew to know each other pretty well and nearly cause their brains to link up when they were joking around or cause tunnel vision when a disagreement broke out. This made hanging out a lot of fun, but could sometimes annoy the people they were with.

Tonight, Matt, Ryan, one of Ryan's roommates, Jackson and a few other people they are all friends with were hanging out in a bar-arcade combo in the downtown area. Matt and Jackson were playing on a fighting cabinet game when Ryan walked over beer in hand, already a little drunk, and began whooping at their game. The three began making funny comments about the characters clothing choices and laughing too hard to play properly.

"Oh yeah see I wear this old thing to show off my big old tits!" Matt put on one of his character voices making the woman sound like a 90s cartoon character.

"This padding really protects my huge dick and nothing else." Ryan began in a heavy Russian accent.

  
Jackson attempted to get a joke in before Matt cut him off. "Dude that was fucking horrible."

  
"I'd like to see you do it better!"

  
"It isn't that hard you," Jackson trying to get back into the conversation "you just have to make the-

  
"Oh fuck you, you make the same voice for everything! That dumb girl voice!"

  
"Uh-huuuuh" Ryan pitched his voice up at Matt making the two of them laugh and Jackson shrug and walk away to find their friends. Matt and Ryan continued their argument about voices and accents as the title screen for the fighting game looped next to them and their glasses slowly emptied.

When they reached the end of their drinks Matt nodded toward the bar and pointed his elbow at it and the two ordered new drinks. A beer for one and something called a One-Up for the other. When they looked back at the game they noticed that their friend was gone and gave each other a puzzled look and slowly walked around the bar looking for a sign of any of their friends. They quickly finished their drinks and headed outside to see if any of them went outside for air, to vape or a smoke. It was a lot darker out now than when they arrived, and there was a slight cool breeze in the air. Ryan wondered what time it was and took his phone out to check it, and when he unlocked it he noticed a new text from one of the girls they were with. She told him the group decided to move on over to a karaoke bar a couple streets up, they tried to tell them but couldn't get past their argument and horrible impersonations, and that once they were done with that they should meet them. Ryan turned his phone to Matt's face and let him read the message.

"Guess that's where were walkin'!" Matt shouted, a little loud from the drinks he had in the bar began walking in the direction of the bar. Or so he thought, five blocks in and Ryan began to voice his suspicious that they were headed the wrong way. "No way! I've been to this place like a hundred times and it's definitely this way!"

"Dude, I have too and it wasn't this far from the bar!"

"It just feels further because we're drunk!"

  
"I don't think I'm drunk enough to lose my ability to count, man. It's only one or two streets away, not like five." Ryan stopped walking altogether and gestured in the opposite direction.

"Fine!" Matt huffed, "but when we get lost and alone and drunk in this city I'm going to kill you."

  
"Promise?"

  
"Oh fuck you." At this Ryan began to laugh, and eventually let it turn into a giggle as the pair made their way back down the road. Matt began to laugh as Ryan's got higher pitch, but let it die in his throat as he saw the karaoke place in the distance.

"Damn and I was looking forward to you killing me." Ryan said cockily to his silent friend. Before Matt could respond he followed it up with "Another time." Matt wasn't sure what that meant but they were both sufficiently buzzed, even if they weren't as drunk as before.

* * *

They headed inside to the room their friend texted them and were surprised to find a few more people than they were with at the bar. A few quick introductions and whispered explanations later, they were now familiar with the situation. Apparently Ryan's roommate had been talking to a girl recently and she invited their group to meet up with her's in the karaoke booth. The two late comers has to squeeze their way into a seat on the long couch against the wall. Ryan leaned his head against the wall and rested his arm along the back of the couch so that Matt had enough room to sit flush against him and fit between him and the towering height and intimidating width of one of the stranger's boyfriend. The man didn't even budge and when Matt looked up at his face it looked like he was in and out of consciousness. The girlfriend must have noticed the concerned look on his face because she told him that the large man was their designated driver and was probably just bored out of his mind and napping. Matt locked eyes with Ryan and they both shrugged.

"When do you think we'll get a chance to order drinks?" Ryan asked him, not concerned about their new large friend in the slightest.

  
"The call button is next to you, just hit it."

  
"The call button is next to you meh meh meh." Ryan repeated him in a mocking tone and smacked the button he previously did not notice just to the side of the couch and table. The waitress came and they two ordered a few small imported Japanese canned mix drinks.

The night went on for a while, the two only getting up to sing when it was their turn and slowly sinking into the end of the couch together. Matt slowly sank into Ryan's side throughout the night. The girl Ryan's roommate was talking to noticed and whispered something in the roommate's ear. Matt couldn't hear what she said but he heard the scruffy guy respond "Nah, just best friends and coworkers." He nodded a little and made a show of threading his fingers into Ryan's at the comment. Ryan looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Matt winked at him. This had been a joke long before the videos and it carried over into their friendships as a running theme. Deciding to play along as usual, Ryan lifted their hands and kissed their folded fingers before turning his attention back to the lyrics and neon designs on the screen. The girl laughed and the roommate shrugged.

A while later everyone decided it was eventually time to go. They lingered outside, planning their routes home, some smoking and some wobbling on the dark street corner from the amount of alcohol in their bodies. Ryan's roommate made eye contact and not so subtly gestured at the girl he was talking to. Ryan sighed and turned back to the group he was talking to. "Hey, uh, Matt, Jackson, you think it's cool if I crash at your place?" The two issued 'of courses' and 'why nots' and they called a cab to bring them home. On the ride home, Ryan leaned heavily against Matt and nearly drew his entire body across him to talk to the Tucker brother. Matt's face began to heat up as the ride continued, completely due to the number of drinks he had - he told himself. He reached past Ryan to open the window and allow the cool air into the cab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember when authors used to have conversations with the characters in the notes on like Fanfiction.net? Shit like:  
Naruto: I don't sound like that baka  
Author: Shut up *glomps*  
Life was easier when I was reading that shit


	2. Rough Carpet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go home and face the repercussions of alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a second chapter, this is the longest I have ever stuck with a project someone wasn't paying me for. But this one is a little self indulgent in theme and motif and that jazz, so its fun. 
> 
> Again, comments welcome, I've made a tumblr so if you'd like to chat come say hello. @graventimes

Jackson nodded off somewhere in the half-hour cab trip, leaving Matt and Ryan to fill the silent void. Ryan hummed along with the radio and began taking his hair out of its tie, rubbing his scalp and sighing. Matt took a moment to take in the sight of his long, dark locks falling over his shoulders, just now noticing the slightly lighter, golden waves running through it. Then he decided to break the quiet atmosphere. 

"You know if you keep trying your hair up like that you're going -" he took a moment to swallow, his head still pleasantly swimming and fuzzy "you're going to go bald."

Ryan turned to look at him with a wild look on his face. "No, what?!" He shouted, his attention pulled completely away from the music playing softly from the radio. Matt reached over and slapped his shoulder with wide eyes and shushed him, surprised at how loud he was due to his drunken state. Ryan lowered his voice slightly and shifted his body to turn to Matt. "Where the hell did you hear that?" He tittered at his friend, giving him an incredulous look. 

"For real! It's called, like, traction alopecia or something!" Matt whispered at him, hoping it would cause Ryan to also lower his voice. 

"I don't think putting my hair up is enough to make me go bald, Matt." He continued to rub the front of his hairline, and shook his head. Even after his rebuttal he kept his hair down for the remainder of the ride. 

When they reached the apartment building Matt shook Jackson awake and helped him out of the cab and into the building. Unable to do it himself, Matt asked Ryan for help getting their friend out of his shoes and into his bed as he was too tired and sloppy to get there on his own. When they were confident he was firmly on his side, facing away from the bulk of his bed (just in case he threw up in his sleep, Matt was always worried about things like that) the two went to the kitchen to pour themselves glasses of water. A comfortable silence fell between them as they rehydrated and decompressed from their night out. Ryan eventually put his glass into the sink and headed into the living room. He stretched out and took off his hoodie, balling it up and placing it on the floor next to the couch. He lowered himself onto the floor, allowing his face to be pillowed by the soft jacket. 

Matt chuckled, walked over and gave him a soft kick in the side. "Going to sleep?"

"I thought I was but I don't think I'm tired anymore. Plus your carpet is so itchy, like really bad." 

"It came with the place. At least it isn't that damned oriental rug whats-her-name was trying to sell us."

Ryan turned onto his back and looked up at Matt for a minute. The man standing had nothing left to say so he just gazed down at the other. He took in his long hair again, splayed out on the floor, before throwing himself on the couch and grabbing the nearby switch controller. He booted up the new Katamari game and let his feet hang off the couch onto his friends side. After a few minutes of play, Ryan got up and joined Matt on the couch. He watched Matt play, the man next to him was intensely focused on the screen, the blue, flickering light was the only thing in the room illuminating his face. It bounced off his glasses and smoothed his features as he studied him. His friend eventually noticed his staring and made a soft comment apologizing for boring him. 

“Nah, I’m just waiting for my turn.” Matt smiled at this, surprised he wanted to join in and passed him the controller. They switched back and forth for a while until Ryan found a level he could not pass, and was fixated. Matt made a few lazy attempts to take the controller, asking if he could show him the best way to beat it, unheard he instead leaned back to rest his head on the couch. Slowly the screen became more and more blurry, and soon enough he was asleep. 

* * *

Bright light hit Matt in the eyes like a bullet. He grumbled to himself and rubbed his eyes, trying to numb the sensation. He head throbbed softly, and his ears rang, but this wasn't the worst hangover he's had. In the distance he could hear a happy-go-lucky song played and when he was able to finally open his eyes he saw it was coming from the long abandoned game on the TV screen. His cheek was oddly warm and smushed in on itself. Collecting his thoughts and analyzing his whereabouts he realized in his sleep he had leaned onto Ryan. They never exactly cuddled, except for jokes and the shock value of it, but they were not opposed or strangers to being physically close to each other. When going to a restaurant, movie, or other activities with friends, the two Let’s Players would automatically sit next to each other. It felt natural to them, after all they’ve been through. Reflecting on this thought, Matt allowed himself to stay in this position, cheek pressed against Ryan’s shoulder staring up at him. In the past day or two he had just begun to notice Ryan’s looks. His face was calm and unmoving as he slept, and again, for the first time, Matt noticed how soft his features were, especially compared to his own. Even with his facial hair Ryan had a welcoming softness to his face, one that was highlighted when he was either very calm or letting out one of his famous laughs. 

“That’s pretty gay.” Ryan softly breathed out as he opened one eye and peered down at Matt’s face.

Unsure of what to do in that moment, Matt studdered, but then cracked a smile and made kissing sounds up at his friend and got up from the couch. He heard Ryan’s laugh in the background, slowly getting higher in pitch and then fading. He walked over to the kitchen sink to retrieve their glasses from last night as well as some aspirin. He rejoined Ryan on the couch and handed him the water and medicine before apologizing “Sorry I must have fallen over in my sleep.”

“It’s whatever I don’t really mind.” Ryan said before downing his drink and stretching his arms up. “Fuck I’m sweaty and my back is all messed up from sleeping sitting up. Can I borrow your shower?” 

The slenderer of the two got up and shrugged, “Yeah of course, hold on.” and walked off towards his bedroom. He walked past Jackson’s room and pushed the door open slightly. He saw him still sleeping, snoring loudly with his face hanging off the side of the bed with one of his arms. He continued to his room and rummaged through his drawers. He had some pajamas that were oversized that he thought Ryan could squeeze into somewhere. He found what he was looking for in the bottom of his drawer; loose fitting Spongebob lounge pants and an oversized Alabama Trucking Association t-shirt that he had long since forgotten the origin story to. He dragged his feet back to the living room and handed the clothes to his long-haired friend. “I don’t have any underwear that will fit you so you can just free ball it I guess.”

“Hey thanks, I was just going to re-wear this outfit so this is actually great. Give me a minute, I’ll be quick.”

Matt stood in the living room and waited to hear the water to turn on before walking over to the kitchen sink and wetting his face. He forgot how much he missed having Ryan around the house, so it was nice to have this impromptu sleepover.

In the shower, Ryan had a similar thought. He scrubbed soap over his shoulder where Matt’s face had been earlier and smiled at the memory and feeling. It was always weird to other people that the two were so close all the time, and it sparked a lot of questions, but that was their problem, not Matt and Ryan’s. He shrugged as the hot water enveloped him in steam. Harrison and Jackson never questioned it, neither did most people in the office (although they sometimes made jokes or references.) Daniel definitely never questioned it. “Shared trauma” he laughed to himself. He leaned his head back and let his face and hair be rinsed through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you catch that edgy, sick-nasty Stranger Things reference?  
Where the fuck did I get the idea to let Matt own an Alabama Trucking Association tshirt?  
Do I own a pair of loose fitting Spongebob lounge pants?  
Is this story going anywhere?  
All this to be answered next time. (or not I'm not 100%)


	3. Hay There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burritos and Movies - the ultimate move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Last time I mentioned I might reveal the origins of the ATA shirt. I didn't think of one so I didn't write one. If you have a head cannon for the origin of the shirt, comment it or send me a message on tumblr. Also, I do not own a pair of spongebob lounge pants. I just wish I did. 
> 
> As always, feel free to comment but don't be too mean - I'm sensitive or whateva.   
If you want, follow me on tumblr @graventimes

Matt sat on the couch and listened to the water running from down the hall. He smiled softly as he reflected on his thoughts. He had been feeling lonely lately, and this was just what he needed; a great night out with friends and a make-shift sleepover. It had also been a long time since he had dated or hooked up with anyone so the physical intimacy was welcomed as well, even as playful and joking as it often was. He got up off the couch and walked back to his room to change. He picked out an outfit, looked at it and put it back in the closet. If Ryan was going to have to wear ridiculous pajamas then he was too. Instead, he pulled out a soft, oversized anime t-shirt a fan had sent and a plain pair of black jersey shorts. He went to the small half-bathroom near the living room and rinsed his face. He wet a towel and gently wiped his body, he didn't really sweat or get hot in his sleep so a shower could wait. He put on his new clothes for the day and instantly relaxed more into the soft fabrics. He threw himself back onto the couch, half sitting up half laying down, and turned on Netflix, scrolling through the categories and movies.   
He heard the water shut off and the shower curtain be thrown open. He continued to browse the movies until they all began to fade into the next. One stood out, a weird, low budget horror movie set in the midwest about a haunted scarecrow or something that terrorized a group of friends vacationing on a farm nearby. As he read the description, Ryan came back out of the bathroom , a warm dampness followed him into the living room as he squeezed himself between Matt's head and the arm of the couch. His hair was wrapped in a towel and the pajamas fit him well, much closer to his size than Matt's. 

"Let me know when you want me to get out of here. My roommates probably done with that girl by now."

"Nah," Matt replied "You're good don't worry. I was about to see how horrible this movie is, if you want to watch with me."

"Sure, but I'm going to Postmates something over, I'm starving. You want anything?" 

Matt hadn't noticed how hungry he was until Ryan mentioned it. "Fuck yeah definitely, there's that breakfast burrito place nearby, they deliver." 

The younger of the two stretched out, arm pressing into his friend's stomach as he did, and then got off the couch. He fished out a menu from a nearby drawer and handed it over. They perused the menu for a moment before placing their order. They moved back to the couch again, Ryan sat first, hugging his body near the armrest and Matt sat after, returning to his lying position, propping his head up using his elbow and hand. 

Ryan reached over and pressed play, and looked down at Matt. His friends head was nearly in his lap, and he could feel the gentle heat that radiated from him, so he was sure he could feel his as well. He turned his attention back to the TV and the ridiculous movie Matt had chosen. Right now, a woman in a very revealing bathing suit and a fit, handsome man were swimming in a lake. The camera cut to a horribly crafted, yet still creepy scarecrow watching them from behind a nearby shed. The two in the lake began to kiss, even after the man explained that he was dating one of the other girls staying in the farm house. Kissing became making out, and making out became undulating in the water as the creature in the movie watched on, sharpening a knife. 

"Is this a porno, Matt? Did you trick me into watching a porno?" Ryan asked, laughing between sentences. 

"No! God no! I thought it was a normal scary movie!" Matt replied, flustered already.

Ryan's laughing became more full bodied as the movie continued. The pair in the water became more passionate and undressed each other. He began to gesture at the screen and shouted "This is just straight up porn dude!" 

"Oh my god! This is horrible!" He continued to gesture at the screen "Her tits are out and everything! What is this?" When he put his hand back down from pointing at the screen, he let it fall onto Matt's side. They both continued to laugh at the absurd scene, and the scarecrow in the film began to creep out from the shadows. Ryan looked down at his hand on his friend's hip and slowly began to move his thumb, feeling his shape and the softness of the t-shirt. Matt was fully engrossed in the horrible scene in front of them now, distracted by the gore and absurdity. Ryan kept his eyes trained on his hand, and then a ringing sound brought him out of the trance. 

"The food, I'll grab it!" Matt shot up off the couch, paused the movie and ran to the door. 

Once he had the food, Matt returned to the couch and handed Ryan his burrito. They resumed the movie and ate as they watched, the only sounds they let out were quiet laughs and the occasional comment. That was, until the wildest scene of the movie happened. The scarecrow had cornered one of the young men in the farm house after killing most of his friends. Then, instead of killing him as well, the scarecrow just stared at him and the young man began to laugh. "Good job babe, we're almost done here." 

"What?" Ryan shouted at the TV. 

"Once we get the rest of them the harvest god will be pleased." The actor draped his arms around the scarecrow's neck and drew him close. He began to kiss the burlap face and rub himself against the raggedy monster. In just a few moments he was naked and the scarecrow was pantsless. The knockoff monster-movie creature's legs were generally human, minus a couple scraps of fabric and hay an intern haphazardly glued to them. 

"Holy shit dude this really is just a porno!" Ryan elbowed Matt as he continued to laugh at the display. 

"What the fuck are you guys watching." 

Matt and Ryan looked up to see Jackson standing near the entrance to the living room. "Are you fucking watching gay porn? Like kinky gay monster porn?" Their friend joined them on the couch and took Matt's side of chips that came with the burrito. "Also, you guys are so loud you could raise the dead." He muttered through a mouth full of chips. 

"No!" Matt shouted again, embarrassed at his movie choice. "It's a horrible scary movie that the director was horny while making or something." He tried to defend his choice, but the movie was really horrible. The sex on the scene was real, not acted, and an R rating didn't do the content justice. He covered his face with his hands and scrubbed his eyes and began to laugh. His friends joined in and they laughed until Jackson grunted in pain. 

"My head is fuckin’ killing me." He whispered mostly to himself and walked off to the kitchen. 

Then, there was a rattling at the door and the sound of keys outside. All three boys turned to look at the door and saw Harrison pushing his way in with a suitcase in tow. "Hey!" he called into the room, "ya boys back!" 

"Hey man welcome home." Matt grinned at him. 

"Where've you been?" Ryan questioned.

"I went on a little road trip with some friends." Harrison kicked off his shoes, and let the suitcase fall to the floor as he took off his jacket. "Oh shit is that 'Hay There"?!" 

Matt began to laugh loudly and threw his arms up in the air. "Yes! Yeah, that's what it is! They think I put on weird gay porn! I know I've like, shown you guys some fucked up stuff but I really thought this was just a normal movie." 

"Yeah it got some wild reviews and backlash for how X rated it is. Like that guy is actually getting banged from behind. I think it was some adult film director trying to have his big break out film or whatever." Harrison added. "I've seen it before at a cult movie marathon at that bar near the bookshop." 

"I've been tricked by Netflix." Matt sunk down into the couch and sighed, defeated. 

Harrison and Jackson walked down the hall into their shared room, Harrison to put away his stuff and Jackson to presumably fall back asleep. The other two men were left on the couch as the end credits started to play, they completely missed the twist-ending scene where the scarecrow betrayed the other man and instead saved the rest of the group. A comfortable silence fell between them until Matt broke it. "It's been nice having you here." 

Ryan smiled softly and looked at Matt. "Yeah this has been fun." He lowered his eyes and leaned back into the plushness of the seat. "I do have to leave soon though, and get ready for work tomorrow." 

Matt sighed heavily and completely fell over on the couch. "I forgot it's Sunday now! And we have so much work to do!" 

"If you have stuff you need to catch up on, I can help you. I'm actually pretty caught up." 

"Yes, Ryan, yes, please, thank you." 

Even though the boys were leaving the Grumps soon to branch off on their own, they still had to finish their editing assignments and were set to appear in a few more live action videos. With everything happening so fast and a lot of new opportunities and questions arising, Matt was even more distracted than usual. He always struggled with his attention problems when he was younger but they were beginning to act up again now during this hectic time. He could probably force himself to buckle down and work, but having someone help him or even just redirect him would be a huge help. 

“I’ll do anything if you help me. I feel like I’ll never finish.” 

Ryan chuckled to himself and decided not to make an inappropriate joke about Matt’s comment. They were having a nice moment and he didn’t want to ruin it. “Shit’s stressful man,” he took his hair out of the towel and shook it out “I get it.” He went to pull a hair tie off his wrist to pull up his hair but did not find one. “You see my hair band?” 

Matt looked quickly up and down the couch and then at the floor. “Uh, no, you think you left it in the cab?” 

“Guess so.” The long haired man got up and grabbed his folded clothes from the night before. He fished around in his pockets, searching for the little black band but could not find anything.He grabbed his phone from his pants pocket and confirmed a ride-share so he could head home. He shrugged and turned to his friend who was now also looked around the room to see where they hair tie was. “I think I should head out now anyway.” He held up his phone to show the app. 

“Hmm.” Matt hummed at him and nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow in the office?” 

“Yup, kinda have to.” They both laughed quietly and stood in silence for a moment. Then, suddenly Matt reached out and grabbed Ryan into a hug. Ryan took a moment and then returned it, and they stayed in that moment. Ryan began to wonder if he should pull away when his phone beeped. His ride was outside. He grabbed his clothes and waved his goodbye and headed out. 

Matt padded off towards the bathroom to relieve himself, and upon entering saw Ryan’s hair tie on the counter. He pocketed the object and went about the rest of his day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hay There - Coming To Theaters Near You  
Did you like this?? Did you hate this? This movie doesn't exist by the way, I completely fabricated a HORRIBLE movie that I kinda wish existed.   
We're almost 5,000 words in and they've hardly touched. I wonder how long this will take.  
See ya next time!


	4. Playing Hooky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Ryan chat over some tasty meats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a little longer to write because my mind went in 10 different directions with what I wanted to do or write.   
If you're liking this so far, shoot me a comment or follow on tumblr @graventimes. I'd love to hear from ya!  
Or if you find any mistakes, I have a hard time re-reading my work because I have problems looking at electronic screens so sometimes my eyes kinda get unfocused.

The next day Ryan arrived to work early to try and finish up the small amount of work he had left so that he could finally relax and maybe help Matt. Editing was a lot of fun when you first sat down to do it, but became monotonous after a while, having to rewatch the same clips over and over again. After two hours of working Ryan stretched a little, cracked his neck and looked at the time. It was about when the rest of the crew began filing in, and he felt pretty comfortable with what he had gotten done. He walked over to the pantry and grabbed a granola bar and a La Croix before he heard shuffling from down the hall. Leighton slowly entered the pantry looking more dazed than awake. 

“You good?” Ryan questioned, offering her a water bottle from a nearby shelf. She shushed him and waved her hand at him, before quickly taking the bottle and a snack sized bag of chips. He watched her walk into the main pit of the office and throw herself onto a beanbag chair. 

Then, as he finished his can of seltzer Arin, Suzy, Vernon and Brent walked in. None of them appeared to be as tired or disheveled as Leighton so he assumed it had nothing to do with work. He went back to his desk and turned a playlist on at a quiet volume and got back into the groove of working. He scratched his scalp and began looking through the drawers of his desk for a hair tie. When he didn’t find one he used a pair of headphones as a headband and plugged them in to continue listening to music. His eyes began to feel a little heavy and when he finally snapped them back open he realized nearly 10 songs had played and he had made no progress on his work. He pulled the headphones back off and could now hear the sounds of a 10-Minute Power House being recorded down the hall. He hadn’t even noticed Dan come in. Maybe he needed a real break. 

He walked down the hall to peak in at the recording and walked past to the bathroom. He went to open the door and found it locked, so he waited outside. About a minute later Matt walked out and when he saw Ryan he began to laugh. 

“Dude you ok?” Ryan looked puzzled by the question. “You were like, snoring at your desk.” 

“No I wasn’t I was just…” He couldn’t think of an excuse. “I don’t know I can’t get into work right now. I showed up early and did some stuff but now I can’t focus.”

Matt shrugged. “Let’s get lunch?”

“It’s still morning.”

“Ryan it’s,” he paused for a moment to check his phone “12:30.” 

Ryan made a grab for his phone to check the time. It was 12:34. How long had he been zoned out at his desk? Maybe he did fall asleep. “Um, yeah just let me take a leak first.” He went into the bathroom, did his business and washed his face. 

“Where do you wanna go?” Matt asked him when he was ready. 

“Hmm, I’ve been thinking about that Korean barbecue place nearby. We could walk there and not get stuck in traffic.” 

* * *

The walk to the restaurant took about 15 minutes and the heat was beginning to get to Ryan. Why had he chosen to wear a short-sleeved hoodie instead of a regular shirt today? He pulled his hair up with one hand and fanned himself with the other. 

Matt looked at him and muttered a soft “Oh.” Before fishing around in his pocket. Ryan watched his face light up as he quickly withdrew his hand from his pocket and stretched it out towards him. Ryan opened a hand and let Matt place a small black elastic in the center. “You left this in my bathroom!”

“Thanks.” Ryan smiled and tied up his hair as they walked into the BBQ joint. He fussed with his bun as Matt held up two fingers to the hostess and followed them to a table. The hostess smiled at the two men and turned on the small hot plate at the center of the table. She handed them pieces of paper with checklists of meat, vegetables and sauces and walked off to get them water. 

“She’s kinda cute, huh?” 

“You can’t think every girl we meet is cute, Matt.”

“No not for me, for you man, she looks like someone you could be interested in.”

Ryan frowned. “Thanks I’m… not interested.” It wasn’t that Ryan didn’t want to date someone, it was just that he was over trying to go out of his way to ask people out. He would much rather something happen organically and with someone he actually knew. He had tried flirting with people at bars or events but it never ended well, and he was ready to meet someone for more than a fling. 

Matt shrugged at him and began checking off food from the list. They handed the paper to the waitress when she came back and took the waters from her. “So what has you so distracted at the office today?” Matt inquired. 

“I don’t know man, I just couldn’t focus after a while. Like I know we’re getting close to the end of our time there so I’m lacking a little motivation I guess.” 

They began to grill their food as it came out. Ryan quickly threw on a heavy helping of protein while Matt carefully laid out a sampling of everything they ordered. 

“So,” Matt began as he flipped a piece of onion “Let’s not go back.”

“What?!” Ryan laughed as he pour sauce onto a sizzling piece of beef “Like just quit early?”

“No!” Matt laughed and began to fill up his plate “Like just play hooky today.” 

Ryan stared at him for a moment, they weren’t in high school or college, they couldn’t just play hooky. They had jobs, even if they were ending soon. The idea was promising, and they only had about four hours left in the day. The scruffy man poked at his meat and weighed the options. “I did need to help you with your backlog of work though.” He started eating his plate of food. 

“We’ll just do it later. Like tomorrow or tonight or whenever. C’mon Ryan we hardly took off while we were there.” 

“We can cut out early. At least it isn’t a full day.”

“Fuck yeah, man! Now really dig into this fucking food it’s really good.”

They finished their meal, all the while discussing the quality of the restaurant and what they might do with their time. The waitress came back and asked if they wanted dessert. Ryan decided against it, already full and not wanting to stuff himself. Matt ordered a type of sweet rice cake and made a show of moaning his enjoyment to embarrass his friend. When they were done they paid, Ryan made sure to tip extra to make up for the sounds, and they began their walk back. Along the way, they popped into some of the shops and took their time. In all it took them forty-five minutes before they got back to where Ryan parked that day. The two boys got into the car and were about to leave when Ryan sighed. 

“I left my laptop up in the office! Fuck man!” 

“I’ll go get it, one second.”

“Wha-” Before he could finish, Matt was gone and the car door was closed again. Ryan scrubbed his eyes and waited to see what would happen. Matt was very supportive of him these past couple of days and the feeling was very nice. He started the car to get the air conditioner running and the radio kicked on was he turned the key. Ryan began singing along as he waited on the return of his laptop. He got lost in the music, as he did earlier and felt himself relax as he sung. The song died down and Ryan heard a muffled chuckle from outside the car. Matt and Leighton were standing at the window watching him sing. His immediately began to heat up and he slammed his finger down on a button to open the window. 

“What the fuck Matt?!” 

“You looked so calm.” Leighton laughed, leaning in toward the window. 

Matt opened the door and jumped in, then reached back to place the laptop in the backseat. Ryan huffed and threw the car into reverse as Leighton walked away, singing the same song he was. He pulled out of the parking spot and began to head back to his house. 

“If it helps, you did look kinda cute and peaceful.”

Ryan’s face heated up more at this and he sped the car up a little. He wasn’t mad, just embarrassed and a little taken aback. Matt turned up the radio and hummed along as they made their way along the route. Occasionally Matt would look over at Ryan, his face had softened but was still bright red. He did look cute, even if that was weird to say about your friend. The skinnier of the two reached over and patted the other on the shoulder. He closed his eyes for the rest of the ride and enjoyed the music. 

When they pulled up to the apartment building they sat for a moment before gathering their belongings and heading inside. Ryan leads Matt to his bedroom and tells him to put his stuff on the desk. He grabs his own laptop and opens YouTube and invites Matt to sit next to him. They browse a couple videos for a while and it’s still only three in the afternoon. They had time to just goof off and hang out. They watched a couple commentator videos where people scoured the internet for the weirdest posts and forums. After an hour, Matt began fidgeting in his seat and moving his head in different directions, trying to get comfortable. Ryan reached past him and grabbed a pillow. 

“Lean forward.” When Matt did he tucked the pillow behind his head. Matt smiled and pressed play on the laptop again. However, after a minute he began shuffling again before throwing the pillow back toward the end of the bed. 

“Made it worse.” He shrugged, and continued to test out new positions. Eventually he settled with his head on Ryan’s shoulder and he settled in to watch more videos. Ryan felt his ears heat up a little at the physical contact and intimacy of the gesture. He kept his eyes trained on the video and tried not to move and disturb his friends now comfortable position. In his tense state he had become more aware of everything his body was feeling. He felt his spine against the wall, his behind against the bed, Matt’s ear on his shoulder, Matt’s hair on his neck, Matt’s pinky finger next to his. Wait. He looked down at Matt’s hands. One was placed loosely on his own thigh and the other laid next to Ryan’s hand so their pinkies were lined up and nearly overlapping. Ryan continued to stare at their hands instead of the videos that became incomprehensible as he focused in on the physical touch and the sudden urge to lace their fingers together. 

‘Fuck it.’ He thought, and did just that. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW. Something finally happened. Only about 6,500 words for THAT to happen. Was it worth it?   
Let's see what happens with the boys next. 
> 
> Do y'all like the length of the chapters?   
Do y'all like the direction/feeling/vibes?  
Do y'all have any other comments/questions/thoughts?  
Let me know here or on tumblr @graventimes


	5. Soft Smiles and Soft Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to shift and change. And things begin to heat up.  
Where will it go? What does it mean?  
This is the longest update so far, hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are NSFW elements in this chapter, I have used some warnings so that if you don't want to read it, you don't have to.  
Let me know what you think? What do you think will happen next?  
Wanna chat or follow me on tumblr? @graventimes

Ryan laced his fingers through Matt’s and immediately regretted it. ‘Why would I do that? Why did I WANT to do that?’ A million questions and thoughts ran through his mind and it overwhelmed him. It wasn’t a joke this time, and there was no one around to impress or entertain. He genuinely had an urge to hold hands with the person that was probably his best friend. Almost instantly his face began to heat up and he stared straight forward, eyes trained on a blank spot on the wall and he thought about removing his hand or finding a way to turn it into a bit. Before he could come to a final decision he felt Matt’s hand return the gesture and his friend closed his fingers to lock with his. Ryan swallowed thickly and peered down at Matt through the corner of his eye only to find the other man gazing at him thoughtfully. ‘What is he thinking?’

He opened his mouth slightly and attempted to think of something to say or ask, but Matt smiled up at him. He smiled so softly, so sweetly, and then turned his head and eyes back to the laptop. Ryan couldn’t move or think. He just stared. He stared at the sandy brown hair that was pressed into his shoulder and what he could see of the taller man’s smile. Then he moved his eyes to stare at their hands, linked together in the messy blanket. The sound of the video droned on in the distance and he could only hear Matt’s quiet huffs and chuckles in response to it. His focus was on the difference between their fingers, his own slightly darker and thicker than the other’s. He peeled his eyes away to join in on watching the video. He took three practiced, deep breathes and began to take in the content again. 

“I wonder how they find these posts, I never come across them online.” Matt broke the silence with ease. 

Ryan missed a beat, almost startled. “What?” 

“The content for the videos, they always have so many, like, posts to go through in each theme. It’s impressive work.”

“Yeah, I, uh, I don’t know.” He used his free hand to gently shift himself. “It is impressive you’re right.”

Why was he nervous? It wasn’t weird to be physically intimate like this, he’s had friends that were always close with each other, he’s been close with Matt and a couple other guys and he’s had girlfriends in the past. He was nervous like a young boy on a first date. He shook his head gently, trying to not disturb Matt’s resting position and noticed the other looking up at him again.

“So-” Matt began, staring up at Ryan’s face. Was he finally going to mention the hand holding? Brown eyes began to dart around his face, looking anywhere but directly into his blue. “- you said you’d help me catch up on some work. When did you want to do that?” 

Oh. “Ah, we could now, if you wanted to?” 

“Hmm, it’s like four-thirty, let’s wait till five.” The brown hair shifted again and Matt was looking away from his face, so Ryan settled back into the wall to join him in watching random videos that would auto-play, their hands still folded together between them. 

  
  


* * *

At the end of a particularly funny video Ryan was finally comfortable enough to let himself genuinely laugh at the content and commentary. As the ending music played he felt the slender fingers slip away from his and panic set in. His mind began to wander and run with his thoughts until it was interrupted.

“It’s already past five, think we could start on those videos?” 

“Yeah, let me get you a chair.”

The chair was placed so that they were sitting next to each other at the small desk and Matt showed him which video needed to be edited first. They each took on a one-off and an episode in a series to tackle. They sat in silence and enjoyed being able to work in a quieter, more comfortable environment and on their own schedule. They were wearing headphones but would occasionally poke or shove the other to get their attention and ask for advice or opinions on the editing style or jokes that should be put into the videos. After two hours, Matt stood and stretched, cracked his neck and closed his laptop. 

“Man I’m starving. I think I’m going to head out, thanks for your help man.”

“You could stay here to eat,” Ryan quickly regretted his words. First he held the poor man’s hand and now he was basically begging him to stay. “I mean, I only have some stale cereal and instant ramen but it’s late.” 

“Thanks but I have to feed Banana, too. I miss that fucker.” The words were spoken through a laugh.

Ryan took a moment to think of a joke in response. “C’mon! Always ditching me for pussy man!”

Matt laughed whole-heartedly in response and threw his hands up in a grand gesture. “Can’t help it, can’t keep them away from all this!” 

Ryan threw a pillow at him in response and got up to walk him out. It had been a really good day, and while he didn’t exactly want it to end he was also really looking forward to sleeping. There was a comfortable silence as they cleaned and packed up from the day. They padded off to the front door and Matt turned to Ryan before he opened it to exit. 

“I hope this made you feel a little better.” His smile was evident in his voice and Ryan couldn’t help but stare. “I don’t think we can play hooky too many more times so, get motivated dude."

“Yeah, no, it really helped.” Ryan felt a warmth in himself he hadn’t felt in a while. “It also meant a lot.” In a nod to Matt’s gesture just the day before Ryan quickly gave him a half hug and then peeled away to open the door for him. “Let me know if you need me to take anymore videos for you.” His departing friend gave him a big smile and a short wave before heading through the door. 

Ryan watched him leave and then closed the door behind him and trudged off to his room. He sat on his bed and held his face in his hands. ‘What was all that? What the fuck was that?’ He was acting weird, he didn’t feel like himself. Parts of his body felt warm and it came to a head in his stomach, a hot, tingly feeling he couldn’t place. He laid back into his bed and tried to think of what it could be. 

Thoughts, questions and memoried danced around in his head as he searched for an answer. Even though he had roommates he was lonely. He felt that way a lot. It would start as a discomfort, very mild and nearly unnoticeable in the back of his head. Then it would build until it was all he could think about. Even at work, or at parties, he would feel it. He would smile and nod as people were talking but there was no bond, and if there was one it felt forced and too far away to mean anything. It wasn’t necessarily true but sometimes he couldn’t do anything to stop himself from feeling this way. It was always different with Matt. He always felt the genuine connection, friendship and love coming from him when they talked, or were just in the same room as each other. They had been through a lot together, started their careers together, fought for recognition together, learned together, grew together, lost together. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand next to his bed. Maybe he just needed to find someone to have this type of connection with romantically. 

The brightness from the app store burned his eyes so he turned it down in the settings. Only the letter ‘t’ had to be typed into the search bar before he found the app he was looking for. He tapped on the bright red flame icon and allowed the download to start. He watched the small loading animation nearly become complete before he let out a soft grunt and cancelled the download. He got up from his bed and shut the door and flicked off the lights before returning to his bed. He reopened his phone and flipped up the settings, raising the brightness a hair and making sure the volume was completely turned down. He opened the web browser application, entered in his favorite porn site, grabbed a leftover napkin from a few days ago and a small bottle of lubricant from the top drawer of the nightstand. 

He didn’t do this often, but he thought it might remedy the situation or at least provide him some relief from his thoughts. The videos were all similar, step-sister this, hot teacher that, and it took him a good ten minutes to find one that he thought was worth his time. It had a long title about how it was a couple and they were loving, or some nonsense, but it looked soft and inviting. 

**=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE **

The video started off with kissing. The couple gently stroked each other’s arms and backs before they began to passionately make out. Then, the woman pushed the man back into the plushness of the bed. The lighting gave everything an almost angelic look to it, very ironic in their viewer’s eyes. Ryan began to grope himself through his shorts before taking them off and quickly working his hoodie off as well. Now in just his boxers he softly ran a hand over his chest and chewed on his lip as the video continued. Things began to heat up and he watched as the woman ground her behind into the man’s tented shorts, causing him to stir in his underwear as well. He gripped himself and let out a heavy sigh, squeezing himself rhythmically and groaning at the sensation. As the two on the screen began to undress he slipped a hand into his boxers and loosely wrapped his fist around his erection. 

There was a lot of passion in this video, the two undoubtedly knew each other and were possibly together. Either that or they deserved some type of award for their acting. Ryan’s eyelids grew heavy as he continued to watch through his lashes. He never seemed to mind the men in the videos, and this one caught his eye. He thought the word a lot throughout the day, but this man looked soft. Not pudgy soft, but soft in the way he touched his partner, or smiled at her. His smile was captivating, a little crooked on his skinny face. The slow moving, loose fist around his cock began to speed up as he watched the couple pleasure each other with their hands. Both of their faces were lit up and he could tell they were moaning happily from what he saw. ‘Fuck, I want to hear them.’ He leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed his headphones and hastily jammed the plug into his phone. He shoved his underwear off and held himself in his hand, his thumb pressing into the head. Audio from the video slowly filled his ears as the woman pushed the man into the pillows so he was half sitting and half laying. She buried her face into his neck and began to stroke him firmly. Ryan mimicked the movement, finally giving himself purposeful, strong strokes. He closed his eyes for a moment and allowed himself to sink into the feeling before catching his eyes on the video again. Pornos where the guy was the one being focused on normally didn’t get him off but there was something about this one. He was getting close. He sped up his movements. 

He continued to fist his cock and listen to the grunts and moans of the man and occasional giggles and sighs from the woman. Suddenly, the woman tilted her head that she had buried in her partner’s neck and bit down where his throat met his shoulders. The other actor let out a choked up moan followed by breathy laughter and Ryan came. It took him by surprise and he sat up a little at the intensity of the orgasm. A soft moan left him and he allowed himself to shake a bit as it passed through him. “Ah, fuck.” He ran his free hand up his chest and it tingled as his fingers gently glided past his soft pec and nipple. Soft aftershocks pulsed in him, and still incredibly turned on by the recent act in the video he continued to give himself gentle squeezes until it became too much. 

  
  


**=x= NSFW ENDSHERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE **

**(There are still mentions of it for the rest of the chapter.)**

When his breathing calmed down he slowly cleaned himself up and tossed the used tissue at the garbage can in the corner of his room. He pulled his boxers back on and found a sleep shirt to wear. Making sure his roommates weren’t in the hall he looked up and down the apartment before walking off to the bathroom and cleaning his hands. Finally, he made his way back to his bed and snuck under the blanket. It hadn’t been that good in a while, but he was surprised at what sent him over the edge. The laugh and moan and pleasured face of the man were still bright in his memory, and when he focuses on them it drew heat back into his stomach. He shook his head and set an alarm for the morning as he felt his pet companion’s weight dip the end of his bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it this far! I was nervous about posting this one. Did you enjoy it? Do you like the NSFW markers so that you are able to skip it if you wish?  
Any predictions or wishes for the future of this story?  
Do you now hate the word soft?


	6. Dominican Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have to go to work sometime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2500 word vomit  
Hit me up on tumblr @graventimes

The next day Ryan woke up feeling pretty good. He wasn’t hot or sweaty when he woke up and his attitude felt pretty light. He went about washing himself and getting ready for the day, packing up his things and planning his route to work. The day’s bag was almost packed, his laptop went into its sleeve and then he reached for his headphones. Except, those weren’t his headphones. The tips of his ears and his face began to burn as he felt a wave of embarrassment and shame wash over him. Back when they lived together, he and Matt ordered headphones for editing together. They bought the same pair in different colors because they were highly rated online and were relatively cheap. Matt must have grabbed his last night and because of that Ryan had used the other pair to watch the video. He wore someone else’s headphones while he jacked off. He took a couple shallow breaths and headed to the kitchen to wipe them with a paper towel. He supposed it wasn’t too horrible of a situation, it just shook him when he realized what had happened. It wasn’t like the headphones were actually used to get him off or like they were going to tell his friend what he did. He grabbed a cereal bar and headed off. 

When he got to the office, Matt was already there working on the outro to a new video. Ryan placed Matt’s headphones next to his keyboard and snatched his own off his friend’s head. 

“Ah! What the fuck?” Matt turned around in the chair quickly and made a grab for the headphones before getting his hand caught in the wire. He looked up and saw it was Ryan and he laughed. “What? What the hell dude, what do you want?” Ryan simply gestured to the returned headphones on the desk and reached over to the computer tower to unplug his pair. Matt stared at him for a few moments and let out a laugh. He apologized for taking Ryan’s belongings and went back to editing. 

The rest of the day went by quickly, as did the rest of the work week. Matt and Ryan ate together two of the remaining days, ordering in Thai for one and eating the leftovers together in the breakroom for the other. Occasionally Ryan found himself with the same itching feeling in his hand, where he felt the urge to reach out and hold Matt’s in his own. He swallowed it down and found himself content with just being in his presence. He still wasn’t sure why he had this urge to be so physically close to his friend all of a sudden, and he wasn’t sure why Matt was fine with it. 

Friday finally rolled around and they were almost done for the day when Matt sat down on the edge of Ryan’s desk. Ryan worked quickly to find a good place to stop what he was doing and then removed his headphones and looked up at Matt. The skinnier man was smiling and staring down at him and it looked like he was bursting at the seams while waiting to tell him something. 

“Uh, what’s up dude?” Ryan questioned at the cheshire-like smile.

“We’re going to the movies tonight! Jackson got us tickets to that new horror movie!” 

“Is it that dumb porno you showed us again?”

“No! Fuck you, let that go. It’s the new one based on that really old bad one. With the guy that comes back from the dead and shit.” Matt jumped off the desk and threw his hands up in the air while defending himself.

“Ah, alright Matt. But if this is another scheme to get me to watch monster porn then -” Something clicked in Ryan’s head “- wait don’t I have a say in if I’m going? You just got me a ticket?”

“C’mon Ry, it’s going to be fun! And Jackson was buying them on the app, I didn’t have time to come ask you.” 

Ryan huffed at him and nodded. “Fine, what time are we going to this movie?” 

“It’s at seven-thirty so I want to get there to meet Harrison and Jackson at like seven, that ok?” He reached into a pocket and popped a piece of gum into his mouth. “We just have to kill like an hour and a half.” He mumbled through his full mouth. 

The decided to just laze around the office and order dinner before the movie. Ryan called up a food delivery app on his phone and they decided on a Dominican chicken joint. They sat in the large bean bag chair and waited for the food, scrolling on their phones. When the food showed up Ryan went down to get it and they sat in the breakroom to eat. Matt told Ryan a crazy story of a couple fighting in the street near his apartment, he waved his arms around as he described the way the girl took off her shoe and threw it at a passing car, making the whole scene worse but more entertaining. They sat next to each other, sharing pieces of their orders and stories when Matt’s arm came to rest next to Ryan’s on the table. He glances at their hands and was immediately brought back to his thoughts. Matt noticed how quiet he got and looked at him with a gentle smile and laced their fingers together. 

“It’s fine. I don’t, like, mind.” Ryan didn’t respond at first, and was trying to formulate something to say, but Matt continued on with his story and let it diverge into a tangentially related one that he was sure was all exaggerated as he stuffed chicken and rice into his mouth. They heard a faint buzzing sound and Matt twisted to grab his phone from his pocket without separating their hands. “Mmmm - Jackshon and Harrishon on deir way dere. We should ‘ead out.” Ryan laughed at his food-muffled voice and began to gather his things. 

\--------

Outside the office the two men realized the walk to the movie theater would have taken them nearly forty-five minutes so they decided to find another means of getting there. Matt wanted to call an Uber and Ryan felt it was better to catch the bus. Ryan insisted they were already going to be spending enough money on overpriced tickets and snacks, so they shouldn’t add on another large purchase, while Matt wanted the simplicity and comfort of the car trip. 

“I’m not spending an extra thirty dollars when the ride will take the same amount of time! This bus will take us there, it's one of the few times the public transportation system works in our favor, Matt!” Ryan shouted as he gestured to the nearby bus stop. 

“No! It’s going to be hot and smelly and I bet you someone has or will throw up on that bus! They’re disgusting Ryan! I fucking hate the bus!” Matt replied, waving his phone at his friend. “I’m going to call a cab, it probably won’t even be twenty dollars each!”

“Matt, no! I’m not spending even close to that when the bus is less than five!” He made a grab for Matt’s phone and the two wrestled over it for a moment when Ryan stopped suddenly. “Look! It’s here just get on the fucking bus!”

Matt turned to see the bus slowly approaching them from the traffic light up the block. He huffed and shoved his phone into his pocket, clearly disgruntled. “Fine!” He stomped over to the bus stop and when he caught up to Ryan he made sure to sigh deeply and loudly so the other man knew how displeased he was. He kept a sour face on when the bus pulled up, and only allowed it to lighten into a smile when he said a simple ‘thank you’ to the driver. He followed Ryan to the back of the bus with a frown and his shoulders hunched. 

Ryan looked at him in disbelief “Oh sit down you big baby.”

“I’m not a baby for hating the bus!” 

The two sat down next to each other and surveyed their surroundings. The bus was relatively busy as it was nearing the end of rush hour, most of the riders were dressed in what could only be described as business attire, or uniforms. Matt and Ryan looked incredibly casual compared to them, the long haired man sporting a plain black t-shirt and matching shorts and slides and the short haired man wearing a brightly striped top, skinny jeans and sneakers. Matt busied himself on his phone, scrolling through social media apps and playing games to distract himself. Ryan leaned back into his seat and people-watched. About ten minutes into the ride, most of the people got off the bus at a connecting station and left the two with just three other passengers all sitting in the front section of the bus. It was uncomfortably quiet and they still had about twenty minutes left in the ride, so Ryan decided to break the silence. “What’s this movie again?”

“Hmm?” Matt looked up from his phone and pocketed the device. “Oh, it’s a remake of this old B-film where this guy is brought back from the dead by some satanic doll. It was said to be one of the worst movies of it’s time, and they decided to redo it. I don’t know if it’s going to be absolutely ridiculous again but the trailers made it look pretty scary.”

“So like, Chucky?”

“No, not like Chucky. In this one it’s like, the doll brings him back or something with satanic powers.”

“Like in Chucky.”

“That doesn’t happen in Chucky!” 

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure that happens in Chucky, dude.”

“Ryan!” Matt shouts and Ryan immediately hits his knee and shushed him. “Stop saying that the movie is like Chucky, it’s not like Chucky! And I know you’re fucking with me!” Ryan shushes him again and begins to laugh. “Oh, it’s just like Chucky. Just like - fuck you!” Matt mumbles as he mocks Ryan. 

“Relax, man. It isn’t that deep.” Ryan mutters, trying to assure the other riders that are now looking at them that this isn’t a real fight. 

Before they knew it they had arrived at their stop, and the theater was visible from the bus window. Ryan nudged Matt to let him know to get up and the two exited the bus. They crossed the street over to the theater where they thought they would find the brothers they were meeting up with, but they were nowhere to be seen. Ryan waited for a few moments before asking “Where’s Harrison and Jackson?”

“Let me check.” Matt took out his phone and began to send out a message before his phone let out a sound. “Oh, they’re almost here.” 

“Mmm.” Ryan hummed, shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked at some litter on the floor. “I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Yeah, what’s that - oh hold on!” Matt turned away from him and waved his hand in the air. “They’re here.” Harrison and Jackson jogged up to them and gave them each a quick greeting. “What did you want to ask me?” 

“I forgot.” Ryan shrugged and lead the group into the theater. 

The group bought a ridiculous amount of snacks and drinks at the concession stand, Ryan made a comment about how it felt good to buy snacks knowing he didn’t spend a fortune on transportation. Matt responded by throwing a few pieces of popcorn at him and rolling his eyes. They made their way to the theater and found their seats. Ryan sat against a wall with Matt next to him, and Harrison and Jackson filed in respectively. The group sat relatively quietly throughout the previews, making some jokes and comments about the movies they might want to see in the future. Matt slumped in his seat a little and leaned over towards Ryan and put his feet up on the vacant chair in front of him. When the movie began, Ryan saw a huge grin spread across Matt’s face before the lights made it nearly impossible to see him. Ryan mentally noted how the excited expression was rather cute on his face and settled back into his chair to watch the movie. 

The movie wasn’t that scary, but it was very entertaining. The creators obviously allowed themselves to have fun with it and there was a lot of humor written into the very creepy plot and screenplay. Ryan heard Matt chuckling and fidgeting in his seat. He peered out the corner of his eyes and saw Matt leaning his head onto his shoulder. He smiled a little and allowed himself to watch Matt a little in the dim glow from the movie screen. His friend ended up noticing, and looked back up him. They looked at each other for a moment before Matt leaned up and pressed his mouth quickly to Ryan’s. It was hardly a kiss, more of a press than anything and as quickly as it began, it ended. Matt sat up straight in his seat and pulled one of his knees up to his chest, resting his foot on the seat with him. Ryan stared wide-eyed for a moment before moving to lean against the wall. He twisted the end of his shirt nervously until the movie ended. 

When the house lights came back on, Ryan went to pull Matt aside but he was already headed for the door. Ryan joined Harrison and Jackson as they walked out. They reached the lobby and found Matt, who approached them and spoke in a low voice. “Harry, Jackson, I’m not feeling great so I called us a cab home. Sorry, see you later Ry.” Ryan went to make a grab for Matt’s arm but he was already tugging his roommates out of the theater and before he could get anything out he was gone. The lone man called a rideshare on his own phone and waited outside the theater, his mind racing at a mile a minute. As the car pulled up he felt a bubbling feeling in his gut and thought he was going to be sick. Why did Matt kiss him and then run? Was it even a kiss? Did he feel pressured to get affectionate with Ryan because he had been holding his hand recently? Ryan felt horrible, and closed his eyes until he got home. 

When he exited the cab he thanked the driver and waved him off. He took out his keys, let himself into his apartment and threw himself on his bed. He took out his phone to tip the driver and noticed a few text notifications.

[11:17 PM] Ratt Wattson From SuperMega: I’m sorry

[11:17 PM] Ratt Wattson From SuperMega: dont hate me

[11:18 PM] Ratt Wattson From SuperMega: forget i did that

[11:18 PM] Ratt Wattson From SuperMega: sorry ry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH i felt so weird writing this chapter im not sure why  
come chat w me on tumblr @graventimes  
i dont have a lot to say this time, peace out cub scout


	7. Sugar Ray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's nervous and regrets what he did in the theater.  
Ryan thinks it's all his fault.  
Who's right and who really knows what's going on? Cause I don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little heavier, length wise and content wise so it took me a bit to pump out.  
Let me know what you think!  
I have a slight idea of how long this fic will be in total. Min 15 chapters and max 20. With a min word count of 1,500 and max at 3,000 depending on what's going on.  
This one is the longest so far.  
If you want to hear my thoughts as I am writing, keep up with me, so what I post or shoot me a message, head to my tumblr @GRAVENTIMES, same as it is on here!

Ryan sat with the messages for a while, staring at his phone and feeling like he was on the edge of nausea. He thumbed his phone, scrolling up to their past messages. He could only imagine how Matt felt over the past week or two. ‘For fucks sake’ he threw himself backwards to lay down ‘I probably made him feel like I was coming on to him or something. I kept touching his fucking hand and looking at him and shit.’ That had to be what happened, he probably made him friend feel pressured into going along with his own selfish desires and whims. When he told him, “It’s fine, I don’t mind”, that was what he was referring to. He tossed his phone to the side, grabbed the front of his hair and muttered out a “Fuck.” 

Ten minutes passed and his head began to ache so he let go of his hair and opened his eyes. The screen of his phone lit up and he scrambled to grab it, hoping that it was some kind of message from Matt that would ease his tension. It was a spam email. “Fuck!” He threw the phone back down and got out of bed. How could he fix this? He really enjoyed the past couple days, the closeness, the laughing, the time together, even the touching was very comforting and made him feel a warmth he hadn’t in a while. But, he mused, obviously Matt didn’t feel the same way towards the affection and Ryan had crossed some sort of line. He fidgeted with a piece of loose hair and lamented quietly. It wasn’t anything romantic, right? So it wasn’t something that should have been so uncomfortable but maybe Matt was just more closed off or conservative with physical friendship. He always seemed to be close or touching the Tuckers, but it was possible they were just better friends. He grabbed his phone for the third time and began typing out a message to Matt. 

**New Message to Ratt Wattson From SuperMega:** I pushed things. I crossed some boundaries. You’re fine. 

No. That sounded a little too curt, weird, and maybe angry.

**New Message to Ratt Wattson From SuperMega: ** You don’t have to do things or feel like you have to do things just because I was being weird. 

He held his finger of the backspace button and sighed, that message was just sad. 

**New Message to Ratt Wattson From SuperMega:** Don’t apologize, I get it. Want to move some stuff to the new office this weekend? 

He reread the message and quickly hit send. Maybe ignoring the situation altogether would do him some good. He watched the screen and waited for a response. After a few minutes he decided to just try and get some sleep, so he laid back and forced his eyes shut until it happened. 

  
  


\---------------------------

Matt sat in the back of the Uber on his way home from the theater, pressed against the door of the cab with Harrison and Jackson next to him. “You alright dude? You flew out of that theater like you were going to puke.” Jackson asked, looking at him with a concerned expression. 

“I just felt really sick all of a sudden and needed to leave.” 

“It’s alright if you were feeling anxious,” Harrison added and reached across his brother to pat Matt’s knee “we know it happens and we know what it’s like.” 

To this Matt hummed an affirmative and leaned his head against the window. It was nice to have friends and roommates that supported him but he wasn’t going to share this problem with them. It was too odd and personal, although he was surprised they didn’t see it happen. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed out a few messages before he could think of what he was writing. He reread them and realized how short and stupid they sounded. He was like a kid trying to apologize for taking the last cookie or something. He sent one more message. 

**To Tommy (Ryan):** sorry ry

He shoved the phone back in his pocket and closed his eyes, waiting for the car ride to end. He thought back to the past two weeks. When Ryan slept over, he fell asleep on him. That wasn’t anything too weird but the next day Matt practically laid all over him. Then, when he was trying to leave, he basically forced him into a hug! Then, when they skipped half a day of work and went to Ryan’s, he kept pressing his arm or side or head or some part of him against the thicker man and that’s when he held his hand. He clenched his hand at the memory. Yes, he enjoyed it, he loved being close to Ryan, but obviously it was too much. Then, when Ryan was looking at him through his lashes in the theater he couldn’t stop himself and he kissed him. He wasn’t sure why, and he didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to fix this. The cab pulled up to their apartment and the three men headed into their living space. Matt undressed quickly and headed to sleep immediately, telling his roommates that he wanted to sleep it off. 

The next morning, when he woke up, there were a few moments before Matt remembered what happened. Then, when the memories sunk in, he groaned out loud, grabbed his phone and padded off to the bathroom to take a shower. He unlocked his phone and went to open his music app and saw a new message from Ryan. He swallowed thickly and pressed the envelope icon to read it. 

**New Message to Ratt Wattson From SuperMega:** Don’t apologize, I get it. Want to move some stuff to the new office this weekend? 

He stared at the message for a little while and the steam from the shower behind him began to make the room hazy. ‘What does that mean?” His eyebrows came close to together as the reread the message again. ‘Don’t apologize, I get it?’ He sat on the toilet and kept his eyes trained on the little speech bubble. Ryan probably thought he had some type of school girl crush on him. ‘I guess he isn’t mad though… Oh shit, we do also have to move things this weekend.’ Typed a quick message before getting into the shower. 

**To Tommy (Ryan): ** yea lets try and get the recording room done or something

Half way through his shower he heard his phone ding and he hurried to finish up. The message was from Ryan, something about them meeting up at the new place to set up today and what time he was free. He looked at the time, 10:34 AM. He messaged back that they could meet a noon, which Ryan agreed to. He was nervous to see him, he wasn’t sure if things would be different now that he made this idiotic move on his friend. He got dressed, took his medication and waited to see if it did anything to take the edge off his nerves. He dug through the apartment’s shared pantry and found a meal bar flavor that he liked and grabbed a bottle of water and sat back down on the couch. As he ate he fiddled with a loose thread at the bottom of his shirt and waited for enough time to pass before he called a cab to bring him over to the new space. He tried to calm himself down during the cab ride but he felt like a kid on his way to the principal’s office the entire time. When he saw the office space in the distance he felt his heart rate increase and he slowly slinked out of the cab. Ryan’s car was parked nearby and so he looked at his phone to check the time. It was only 11:39 AM so he was early and Ryan was even earlier. 

When he got into the office he saw less trash and boxes lying around than the last time they were here and he heard the faint sound of movement and grunting in the distance. He followed the sound until he found Ryan in the podcasting room, his hair was tied up in a ponytail and he also had a headband on, probably to keep the sweat out of his eyes, and he was in a simple shirt and thin cotton shorts. The room looked great. There were two nice chairs they had chosen, and it was clean and had some simple decorations laid out. He took a moment to look around before Ryan noticed him. 

“Hey, man.” Ryan jolted a little at the sound of Matt’s voice. 

“Oh, hey.” He put down the small box he was holding to turn to Matt, and pushed a loose hair behind his ear. “I was ready by like, ten, so I just came here early to get a head start.” 

Matt felt a little guilty at this and looked around the room for something to do. “This room looks awesome, what can I move or do?” He kept his voice low, still nervous and trying to watch what he said. 

Ryan opened the box he was holding before and removed a piece of sound equipment. “I thought we were going to fix up the game room today, wanna head in there?” Matt nodded and waited for Ryan to lead the way. 

The recording room was filled with boxes they had to open and organize, various packing materials and trash from unwrapping and unpacking the equipment. Matt sighed, a little intimidated by the workload in front of them, and grabbed a garbage bag. The two worked silently for a while, rearranging the boxes and bagging garbage and plastic bits. Ryan left at one point, so silently that Matt didn’t notice that he was alone until he looked up from his task. He returned shortly after, with a small speaker in hand and began to play music from his phone. It was a nice playlist of some recently popular music, songs Matt knew Ryan liked from the early 2000s and songs that he liked that he had recommended to his friend. He smiled and hummed along with the music. 

He was preoccupied with organizing their games on one of the shelves when Ryan began to sing along in a hushed tone.

_ Something's got me reeling _

_ Stopped me from believing _

_ Turn me around again _

_ Said that we can do it _

_ You know I wanna do it again _

He hummed quietly to himself as the song had an instrumental break and picked up to sing again, just a little louder. 

_ Every morning there's a heartache hanging _

_ From the corner of my girlfriend's four-post bed _

Matt decided to let himself have a little bit of fun and sing along as well, breaking his silence. 

_ I know it's not mine and I know she thinks she loves me _

_ But I never can believe what she said _

The work went faster this way, as they sang together while cleaning and organizing the room. Even in the lighter atmosphere, Matt tried to keep his distance from Ryan. He found work on the other side of the room to keep himself occupied and avoided any physical contact with the other person in the room. Before he knew it, the room was decently clean and nice looking. Ryan had hung the TV across from the recording couch and unboxed the furniture, Matt had set up the mic stands and organizes the games. A low, rumbling sound filled the room right as Matt was going to comment on what they should do next, and he patted his hand against his stomach. Surprised at the sound, he let out an awkward laugh and spoke up. “It’s probably around dinner time. Should we head out or order to the office?”

Ryan shook his head. “I’m starving, let’s get something here.” 

The decided to order in sushi, getting a couple of the cheaper, simpler rolls and an order of tempura to split. They took the food into the newly comfortable recording room and put the food on a small table in front of the couch. Ryan sat on the couch and began to pick at the food immediately and Matt rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He didn’t want to sit on the couch next to Ryan and make him feel like he was going to get too close again, so he decided to sit on the floor and reach up to the table to eat. They sat like this until the food was almost finished, humming along with the playlist and chewing. As Matt stretched to reach up for a piece of a california roll Ryan rubbed his hands against his face and muttered out “Fuck, Matt, fuck man. Can you just like,” he kept his hand covering the top of his face “can you just sit on the couch?” 

Matt waited for a moment, twisting a small piece of the carpet between his fingers before it broke off. He stood up and sat on the far side of the couch, trying to give Ryan enough room. The older man spoke again, “We have to talk about this, we can’t keep avoiding being near each other.” 

Matt worried at his lip with his teeth and felt a bubbling in his stomach. “Ah, do we?” He asked, his voice just above a whisper and filled with anxiety. 

“Yeah, listen.” Matt braced himself for what could come next. “I’m sorry.” Oh. He wasn’t expecting that? “I’m sorry I made you feel so awkward, or whatever. I didn’t mean to like, make that happen. I was acting on impulse and not thinking through my actions and I just did whatever I wanted in the moment and it was stupid. STUPID! And I’m sorry you had to like, take that.” 

“What?” Matt couldn’t stop the question before it left his mouth. “Why are you apologizing for what I did?”

Ryan just blinked at him. “No, for what I did. I kept like, touching you and being weird and I made you think I expected some shit.” 

Matt stared at him for a moment and leaned his head back. “I’m confused.” 

“Me too.” Ryan replied softly. “What are you talking about?” 

“Fuck, Ry, I don’t know, like just being too close to you and leaning on you and SLEEPING ON YOU and fuck.”

“I didn’t mind that shit. I thought I freaked you out when I held your hand.” 

“Ryan I kissed you.” 

“You did. I thought you did it because you thought I wanted you to.” 

“You wanted me to?” Matt searched Ryan’s face for any hint of what was happening in his head. This wasn’t how he was expecting this conversation to go at all. 

“No. Yes? No. I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking about it. I didn’t mind it though. I just felt like something that happened. We’ve kissed before.”

“We’ve kissed for bits, I don’t think that was really a bit.”

“No, but it just felt like,” He furrowed his brow as he looked for the word “natural?”

“I don’t think it’s natural for friends to just kiss and stuff.” 

Ryan shrugged and rolled his eyes. “I’m not sure if us, or any of our friends really follow the normal rules.” 

Matt continued to fiddle with the piece of carpet he accidentally ripped off. “So, what’s this mean.”

“I don’t know I was expecting to apologize and hope that you don’t hate and me find a new partner for SuperMega.” 

Matt frowns at this and looks at Ryan a little concerned before moving to rest his hand on his knee. “Ry.” He scoots a little closer, but still keeps some space between them in case the other feels trapped or pressured again. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.” He pauses for a few moments, and then, feeling rather brave, introduces a possible solution. “What if, what if we just keep doing what feels natural?” 

Ryan let’s the question hang in the air and begins to relax into the couch. He grabs a piece of fried meat from their shared plate and eats it. Matt worries as his friend chews, but Ryan turns to him with half-smile and nods as he swallows down the food. Matt’s face reddens a little at the bashful look he’s given and the possibilities the nod implies. They can keep holding hands and being close and the like. Ryan picks up a piece of sushi and quickly spits out “It’s nice to have someone to be close to anyway.” before shoving the bite into his mouth and moving closer to Matt, ridding them of the small gap between their legs. They are both still nervous about making the other uncomfortable, but they are both happy that the other isn’t upset and is actually inviting the affection. They finish eating and decide to call it a day, Matt makes a comment about ending on a high note as they throw away their trash, to which Ryan responds by holding a fake joint up to his lips. They part with a hug and a laugh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?  
I got a little in my feelings writing that angst. A ha ha.


	8. Recording Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lazy days and hazy ways amirite?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @graventimes  
Hope you like this one!

The next day was Sunday, and they had nothing important to do, move or record so Matt took it as a sign to do absolutely nothing. He woke up close to noon, which was surprising as he normally didn’t sleep in that much, and stretched before pushing the covers off himself. He searched around his bed for his phone before finding it under his pillow and unlocking the screen. He browsed a couple social media sites and checked the views on Supermega’s newest video before his phone vibrated in his hand. 

**[11:59 AM] Tommy (Ryan):** hey wyd today?

Matt smiled at the message, but quickly wiggled his mouth to calm it down. He didn’t want to get too happy too fast, it wasn’t like he had a crush and it wasn’t like they had decided to date. They were lettings the whole platonic intimacy thing work itself out instead of being weird and uncomfortable about it. 

**To Tommy (Ryan): ** nothing at all my man i decided to just relax and catch those z’s in bed

He should find something to eat soon though, he wasn’t exactly hungry but he slept past breakfast and it was getting close to lunch time. 

**[12:01 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** ahaha without me? 

Matt let himself laugh at this and tried to think of a funny reply but Ryan sent another message first about how he was also planning on spending the day in bed with Lego. He smiled at the thought of how cute that would look, Ryan with his bed head and his dog curled up next to him. He opened the camera on his phone and snapped a picture of Banana at the foot of his bed and sent it with a caption about how the cat wouldn’t cuddle with him. He closed the phone and sighed, while he had been pretty close to Ryan they never really cuddled. Not super close and intimately at least. He wondered if that was a possibility now. Matt was one to find physical intimacy very comforting and knew it was something he wanted from most of his friends. He would find himself very close to the Tuckers or Ryan on the couch, and busied himself during recording sessions by playing with Ryan’s hair on multiple occasions. 

He laid back down and let his phone fall onto his chest. He let out a long breath and reached over to his nightstand to grab his glasses. They had cleared things up between them but he was still nervous that he would overstep a boundary or that Ryan would become uncomfortable with the affection. His phone buzzed again with a new message. 

**[12:06 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** should we record some one offs tomorrow so that we have content before the move?

That’s right, the Grumps would be moving soon and they would have nowhere to record for quite a while. Either that or they’d have to take to recording in someone’s room for a bit. 

**To Tommy (Ryan): ** yeah totally we should do that

The rest of the day went by pretty slow. Matt browsed around the internet, watched TV, played with his cat and chatted idly with his roommates. They asked him again if he was feeling better after he slept and he shrugged and told them that yes, he was feeling a lot better. Eventually Jackson headed out for the day and Harrison turned on a game to kill time. Matt watched on. 

* * *

The loud slam of a door and a cough startled Ryan out of his sleep. He shot up in his bed and looked to the doorway with his eyes wide. His roommate stood there with a toothbrush hanging loosely from his lips and a towel thrown over his shoulder. He mouthed around the plastic, “You want the shower first?”. Ryan shook his head and checked the time on his phone. He had overslept and was going to be late to the office. With a curse and an apology he quickly grabbed the first few articles of clothes he could and ran for the bathroom. He showered quickly, trying to avoid getting his hair wet and threw on his haphazard outfit before jogging to his car. 

Thankfully, the ride to work was easy and he seemed to have missed the morning rush traffic. When he found a parking spot he slid into it and turned off the car, pausing to take a few deep breaths. Even though his time at this office was almost up, he was still worried about being on time and not trying to think of an excuse for coming in last. As he walked up to the door of the office he bumped into Leighton. She nodded at him and held the door. The two walked into the pit of the office together, chatting about their weekends and cracking jokes. Matt was sitting on one of the office chairs, spinning in place when he noticed the two of them. Leighton chuckled and patted Ryan on the back before shoving her hands in her pockets and walking off. 

“Hey!” Matt greeted Ryan with a pat on the shoulder “No offense, you look like hell man.”

“Yeah, I slept past my alarm or something.” 

Matt frowned a little. “You could have taken your time getting here, no one would care.”

Ryan knew this was true, but he still felt like he should be on time every once in a while. The two broke away for a while to edit the remainder of their workload and send some notes to Justin about what needed to get done for their own channel. After a while, Ryan stood up to crack his back and walked over to the wall of games to choose something to play during the recording session. One of the games stood out, a knock-off Spanish parody that looked frustrating but entertaining. He read the back of the box and then moved to place the game on Matt’s desk.

“Hold on,” Matt took a few minutes to finish was he was doing before saving and leaving the video to render. He took a bite of the snack he had on his desk “you wanna go record now?” 

“Figured we should get it out of the way.” Ryan picked the game back up and headed off to the recording room to see if it was occupied. They had to wait a few minutes for Dan and Arin to finish was they were recording, but because it was their fourth session of the day, they evacuated the room pretty quickly after beating a level of the game. As fun and rewarding as this job was, it was also taxing and exhausting to have a character on all day. The two men filed into the room after getting the go-ahead and found their placed on the couch.    
  


At first, they sat on opposite sides of the couch, but over time they grew a little closer. Matt sat a little crooked, turned so he was almost facing Ryan and his knee was pressed up against the other man’s. They played the game for about twenty minutes, and during this time Ryan’s complaints about the controls and the objectives became more and more frequent. Matt made a comment about how it didn’t look that hard and so Ryan asked, “Well, would you like to give it a try?” 

Matt laughed, “Yeah, give it here to poppa.” before dying almost immediately. He tried again, repeating the same fifteen seconds of game play over and over again until he cracked and tossed the controller back to Ryan. They had a good laugh about it and decided to end their recording session. Ryan breathed in heavily through his nose and closed his eyes. Matt looked at his face, darting his eyes from his frown to his furrowed eyebrows and then reached to place his hand over his friend’s. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just feel like I woke up in a bad mood or something.” Ryan replied softly. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand before turning his body to face Matt more directly. “Sorry I feel like that session was a complete bust. I just don’t feel ‘on’ today, you know? I haven’t in a bit.” 

“I get that, don’t worry. Anything I can do to help?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan paused a little. “This helps.” He made a general gesture with his hand to the air between them and Matt rubbed his thumb along the top of his hand. He stared at the anxious crease in Ryan’s forehead before moving to lean forward and pull him into a hug. 

“You could have said no to recording today.” He muttered into Ryan’s neck. He heard Ryan whisper something about wanting to push through. “Or we could always have Justin edit the hell out of it.” He felt Ryan laugh at that. He pulled away a little but let his hands stay securely on Ryan’s upper arms. He looked the other man in the eye; he looked a little less stressed and a lot looser and more comfortable than when he first entered the office. There was something new in his face that he couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was in the way his lips were every so slightly parted, or maybe it was in the way he was looking out the corner of his eyes through thick lashes. He moved on of his hand up from Ryan’s arm and onto his cheek and thumbed at the stubble before leaning forward and slowly pressing his mouth against the fullness of the other’s. 

When he moved back he fully withdrew himself to give the other man an escape route, he was still nervous this wasn’t okay. To his surprise Ryan started to laugh and he looked around the room before moving his gaze to the ceiling and then leaning forward to bring them into another kiss. It was just as chaste, but Matt could feel Ryan’s smile in it and he felt heat moving up his body and into his face. As Ryan leaned back into the couch he pulled his hair out of his bun and asked “Do you want to play that dumb fishing game again?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got out of a showing of It Chapter Two and it made me really sad at one part. A couple of the scared actually got me which was wild.


	9. Cracked Sculpture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys reminisce and kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm Enoch, come be my friend on tumblr @graventimes and let me know what you think there or in the comments!

They kissed four more time that day. Twice more in the recording room before Ryan pulled away and found something to busy himself with. Later, they were in the break room sharing a few pizzas with the rest of the crew. When everyone left, Matt, Ryan and Leighton stayed behind to talk about the party Leighton was planning. Matt asked who she inviting and after a few moments of trying to remember she got up to get the list she had scribbled down somewhere. When he was positive no one else was around, Matt gave Ryan a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth before shoving another slice of pizza into his mouth. 

Ryan looked at him a little shocked and asked “Why?” 

Matt shrugged, too much food in his mouth to talk properly and forced out a “Just wanted to.” from around the bread and cheese. 

The last one happened after Ryan drove Matt home. They were sitting in his car, letting time pass as they talked over the radio. Ryan was asking Matt if he was really going to go to Leighton’s party and Matt was trying to convince him to go, and then Matt leaned over the console and pulled his face to his. Ryan pushed back into the kiss, but when it felt too close to attraction or something more than just platonic he pulled back to look at the other man’s face. The skinnier of the two fixed him with a crooked smile and a laugh and twisted to open the car door. “Thanks for the ride man, I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah! See you then.” Ryan watched him leave until he was sure he was inside and began his own ride home. His mind shuffled through a thousand thoughts during the drive. They went from nothing, to holding hands, and now they were kissing. A lot. They were extremely innocent, chaste kisses, but they kissed like six times that day. He bit his lip hard between his teeth in a nervous gesture as he pulled up to a red light. It felt different from all the times he would hook up with a girl at school, a party or just around. It felt natural, and like it was just part of the two of them hanging out, but he was still nervous about it. He felt like at any second Matt would push him away and laugh at how this was all a bit. “Fuck!” He had caught his tooth against a small piece of dry skin on his lip and a small amount of blood beaded up on it. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand as the light turned green. He kept thinking of exactly what happened today, and then he realized that Matt had initiated most of it. This helped him to calm down a little and he was able to relax the rest of the way home, but he still had questions. 

* * *

When Matt got home he showered and made a simple dinner of pasta and sauce before relaxing on the couch. He flipped through the channels for a bit before giving up and letting a random episode on the food channel play in the background as he ate. Halfway through his bowl his text-message alert chimed twice and he grabbed his phone. 

**[7:35 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** hey

**[7:35 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** can i ask you something?

He typed a quick ‘sure what’s up’ and continued to eat. A few minutes went by without a new message and looked at his phone with a raised eyebrow. He drafted a message asking what he wanted to ask but Ryan sent it before he could. 

**[7:42 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** Does it feel different to you?

Does it feel different? Does what feel different? Matt tapped his thumb into the phone screen nervously as he wondered what Ryan was getting at. He was so worried about ruining their friendship and obviously that was what he had done now. Ryan was referring to their friendship and how it must feel so different and weird for him since Matt had kissed him. 

**[7:42 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** Kissing a guy.

Oh. Matt’s thumb was still tapping away but it was a better question than what he was assuming it was. That was something he hadn’t even thought about yet, did it feel different to kiss a guy than the girls he had kissed before. The two of them had kissed before, in skits and to get a rise out of people, but now it felt different. It felt nice, less forced and more freeing. Matt couldn’t identify anything specific that felt different between these new kisses and the old ones with women. Well, maybe one thing. 

**To Tommy (Ryan): ** i mean the mustache

As he pressed send he laughed to himself and continued to eat and watch the show on screen. When the bowl was empty he scrubbed it in the sink and moved it to a drying rack. Harrison entered the kitchen as he was cleaning up and asked if he wanted to grab dinner with him and a couple friends. He had already eaten so he declined and walked off to his room to finish out the day. The LED light on the back of his phone flashed a few times as he lazily drew big-eyed cartoon figures in a sketchbook with markers. 

**[8:29 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** Well, yeah

**[8:29 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** But I mean does it feel different in general?

At this point Matt was too tired to worry, too tired to let the anxiety of making things awkward bubble up in his gut. Kissing Ryan felt different in a good way; it felt more comfortable and it felt fulfilling in a calming sense. Kissing Ryan also felt completely the same as kissing his exes; he wasn’t grossed out or nervous and it didn’t feel forced. Why lie about that? 

**To Tommy (Ryan): ** yes and no. its like i know ur a guy but it also just feels like fine

**[8:32 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** Cool

**[8:32 PM] Tommy (Ryan): ** You want a ride to the office tomorrow?

Of course he did, riding to the office with someone was always better than driving himself or taking a cab and they only had so many days left to record in the old space. He smiled at the gesture, Ryan was going to have to wake up pretty early in order to pick him up. He sent back a ‘hell yeah’ and went back to drawing little pyramids in various colors. 

* * *

Ryan pulled up outside of Matt’s apartment a little early, he thought the traffic was going to be much worse than it had been that day. He texted the other that he was outside and a little early and to his surprise he saw the brightly dressed man emerge from the building only a few minutes later.

“We have time to get breakfast!” Ryan never saw Matt this awake and excited early in the morning. It was a nice surprise. “Ryan let’s get drive-thru breakfast.” He smiled, laughed, and pulled away from the curb to fulfill the request. They talked over the radio on the way to the drive-thru, discussing the plans for next week as the Grumps would be packing everything up very soon. Ryan suggested they record in one of their apartments, but it would be hard with roommates and how loud they could get. They pulled into the line of the fast food joint and ordered at the speaker. When they got to the pay window Matt insisted that he pay because it was his idea and Ryan happily accepted. Matt ate throughout the ride to the office space and handed Ryan pieces of his food at red lights so he could focus on the road. 

They didn’t see each other much throughout the day, the found themselves pretty busy helping people pack, they finished all the work they had promised to do before leaving the Grumps, and they began to collect their own belongings from the various rooms and displays. Toward the end of the day they found each other again and compared various items and memories that they had shoved hastily into cardboard boxes labelled ‘Matt’, ‘Ryan’ and ‘SM’. As they chatted Arin approached them holding a small, cracked, brightly-colored clay sculpture of their faces and logo. He coughed to get their attention, “Hey guys, I don’t know if this was broken when you brought it here, but I found this on the back of one of the shelves.”

“Here let me see.” Ryan took the craft project from Arin and wiped away a little bit of dust that collected on the cartoon faces. “I think this was actually chipped when we got it. It was like, one of our first items for a mailroom video.” He grabbed a piece of bubble wrap from a nearby stack and wrapped it, placing it gently in the ‘SM’ box. 

Matt began to laugh when he saw the contents of the box, various joke gifts like bad games, vibrators, bibles and dildos were collected together in a very strange time capsule of their time in the office. “Are we really going to bring all of that to the new space?” 

Ryan fixed him with a frown and Arin began to walk away to continue collecting his own things. “I only kept the good stuff, I think.”

“We need a vibrating butt plug?”

“It looked like an expensive one!” 

Matt began to laugh wholeheartedly at this, and after a moment Ryan joined him. It was true that they probably didn’t need to keep any of this, but Ryan could be extremely sentimental and would rather go through it again than just toss it. He kicked the box gently and made a comment on how it wasn’t junk and they could probably find a home for it on their new shelving unit. He looked at Matt’s box and asked if he wanted a ride to bring it home so he didn’t have to lug it around. When he got a nod and a thank you as a response the pair headed off to the car. 

During the drive Ryan got a craving for a chicken sandwich and fries and asked Matt if he wanted to get dinner together. Matt happily agreed and added, “But can we bring it back to my place? I’m too tired to eat in the place.” They called a restaurant by Matt’s apartment and set the order for pickup. Matt talked to the woman on the other side of the phone, adding random items to their order like curly fries, some type of dessert and nachos. Before he hung up Ryan tapped his knee and whispered to add drinks to the order. They pulled up to the parking lot about 15 minutes later and Ryan hopped out of the car to pick it up. When he returned to the car Matt attempted to hand him money, but he declined, repeating the other man’s statement from the morning about how it was his idea, so he was going to pay. 

After trying to balance the food and drinks on top of the cardboard boxes the two let’s players decided to leave the heavy packages in the car until they were done eating. They decided to go to Matt’s room because the kitchen was a mess and Jackson was passed out of the couch in the living room. They sat on the bed, very similarly to how they had when Ryan first held Matt’s hand. They put on a TV show on Matt’s computer so that they had some background noise and began to eat. 

They ate relatively quietly until Ryan reached over to take some of Matt’s nachos. Matt batted his hand away and shouted “No.” through a mouthful of food. Ryan continued to pick at the chips and Matt began to shove and slap at the assaulting fingers. 

“These are really good.” Ryan laughed through the chips in his mouth and grabbed one of his wrists. “Dude just share!”

“No! They are good I’m gunna eat them, stop!” Matt tried to wiggle his hand free but failed, and pushed the nachos away so that Ryan couldn’t reach them. The struggle for a bit, Ryan trying to push his way past Matt with a laugh, and Matt trying to keep his friend away from his food. When Matt put his hand on Ryan’s chest to push him again they locked eyes. Ryan was still holding Matt’s other wrist in an attempt to keep him from swatting at his arms when Matt leaned up to press his mouth against his. Matt pulled back and looked at Ryan’s face, waiting for some kind of reaction. Ryan’s eyes darted around his face and watched as his tongue peeked out to wet his lips. 

For the second time since the movie theater, Ryan initiated a kiss, he pulled Matt into him and pressed his lips harder against the other’s. He could really feel what it felt like to kiss Matt now, as they let the kiss last longer than the others before it. Matt’s lips were softer and more squishy than he assumed they would be. He could also feel Matt pressing more into the kiss before he broke it. They only waited a moment before diving back in. Ryan let go of Matt’s wrist and moved his hand to hold onto his arm, and Matt returned the gesture by sliding his hard onto Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan’s heart skipped a beat when he felt what he thought was Matt’s tongue gently pressing at the seam of his lips. 

They pulled away again and Matt huffed out a laugh and gripped into Ryan’s shoulder. “You alright?” Ryan’s face was a sight to see, cheeks stained red and eyes heavy. He nodded quickly and bit at his bottom lip before leaning back in to continue kissing his friend. This time he definitely felt Matt’s tongue gently pressing into his mouth so he opened his lips just enough for the muscle to fit through. Matt gently began to search Ryan’s mouth, licking his teeth and finding his tongue. They kiss like this for a while, pausing to catch their breath every so often and returning so that Matt can press deeper into Ryan’s mouth. 

Ryan lost himself in the motions, he let himself be explored and enjoyed the warmth and the feeling of someone else taking an interest in being close to him. His shoulders tensed as he felt heat begin to form in the pit of his stomach and cause stirring in his pants. He gently pressed his tongue into Matt’s before completely withdrawing and taking a breath. He used the front of his shirt to wipe his mouth and quietly said “I think we should calm down a little.” Matt kissed him one last time and nodded, leaning back against the wall. Ryan joined him, and tried to catch his breath and calm himself down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! That was fun!


	10. Fluffy Pillows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt asks Harrison for help  
Then he acts on the advice (or lack there of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @graventimes on tumblr!  
I listened to only Mother Mother while writing this so I hope THAT doesn't bleed into the work

  
Ryan left about an hour after that. Matt walked him to the door and the two stood by the door in a quiet moment before Ryan pulled him into a hug and closed the door behind him. He yawned and walked over to the couch and was surprised to find Jackson stretched out and still asleep on it. He decided to grab the switch and play it on the smaller loveseat in the living room quietly as to not disturb his roommate. About two hours later Harrison came home and put his belongings down on a chair in the kitchen. Matt waved to him and made a shushing motion and pointed to Jackson’s sleeping form. Harrison chuckled in return and Matt heard him rustling in the cabinet and then turning on the sink behind him.

“How long has he been passed out for? Matt twisted around to look at his roommate as he spoke to him.

“I don’t know. He was asleep when me and Ryan got here like three hours ago.” Matt paused for a few moments and quietly thought about the day’s events and the texts that Ryan sent a few days prior. “Hey Harry can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot dude.”

“How did you know you like dudes?” He heard Harrison choke on his water and clear his throat before coming over to sit next to him on the couch. When he was seated he turned in the seat to face Matt a little better.

“What?”

Matt ran his hands up his face and into his hair, pulling his glasses up with them. “I don’t know, I know you’ve hooked up with a couple guys before and I’m just wondering how you knew you - how you knew you liked it?”

Harrison pursed his lips together and patted his friend’s knee. “Do you think you’re gay?”

“No! No! I’m just asking!” It wasn’t that he thought there was anything wrong with being gay, or with himself being gay. He just hadn’t thought of it in such clear terms yet. He was so sure for all his life that he was straight, but making out with your male best friends because ‘it came naturally’ or ‘cause you wanted to’ was probably not the straightest thing to do. And he definitely wasn’t gay, he had way too many experiences to prove that wrong.

Harrison scrunched up his mouth again before answering. “It just kinda happened one day. I don’t think I ever wrote it off as being impossible. So when the opportunity presented itself I didn’t say no? Does that make sense.”

“Yeah.” His foot bounced on the floor for a few moments. “Yeah, it does.”

The opportunity had presented itself to Matt before, multiple times in fact. Sometimes at parties his personality could be mistaken for flirty, and he would be propositioned or hit on by the friends of his friends. He would politely decline and make a joke about it to clear the air. He scrunched his nose and decided not to think about it too much more before Harrison spoke again. “If you ever need to talk about this kinda shit, I’m here.”

* * *

Over the next couple of days they repeated a similar process. They would either go to the Grump space to pack up and help out or their own office to set things up. After that, they would go back to one of their apartments for dinner and watch movies, browse YouTube or play a couple games. Eventually it would devolve into them making out until one of them decided it was getting too heavy. At first it was exploratory, gentle motions and searching each other out. One of them would start with a soft kiss, and slowly probe into the other’s mouth with quiet breaths and their hands on each other’s shoulders, sides or necks.

Today was a little different. Matt had initiated a kiss that almost immediately changed into something heavier. Once their mouths were brought together Ryan opened his mouth a little to coax Matt into deepening the kiss. The skinnier man responded well to this and began to lick into his mouth and move his lips against his. A wet smacking sound causes Ryan to pull back, a little embarrassed, and look at Matt’s face.

**=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE **

Behind his glasses Ryan could see that his eyelids were heavy and there was a faint smile on his lips. He watched as Matt poked his tongue out to poke at his top lip before leaning in to kiss him again. Matt slid his hand from its position on Ryan’s arm to where his neck met his head. Ryan breathed softly into Matt’s mouth as the hand pulled him into the kiss harder and Matt’s tongue began to move with his. At this point they would normally call it off, and go back to watching whatever dumb video they had on in the background. Ryan felt himself harden in his shorts; kissing had always done it for him. He loved the sensation and the sort of languid feeling that could come with it. Before he could ask if Matt wanted to slow down, he felt himself being pushed backwards gently, so he put his arms behind him to brace himself upward and leaned back. His friend moved his position to get a better angle over him as they continued to kiss and break away and kiss again. Now, he was basically straddling his thigh and Ryan had to cant his hip to make sure his growing erection didn’t brush up against Matt and give itself away. He let himself be pushed back a little further until his head bumped against the wall with a soft thud.

“Ah, shit sorry.” Matt mumbled before he sat up, his knees still on either side of Ryan’s thigh. He twisted to grab a pillow and offered it to the other man with a silent question. Ryan took it from him and paused for a moment before readjusting himself so he was half-sitting and half-laying against the wall with the pillow behind him. Matt smiled at him and kissed his cheek before initiating more intense kisses again.

In this new position it was a lot harder to keep his hard-on from rubbing up against Matt’s thigh, but either Matt didn’t notice or he didn’t care. This was new, and a little scary, before this it could still be written off as platonic and friendly (even if that was a stretch). Now, this was clearly much more sexual than before. Matt was straddling him, they were making out and he was hard. He moved his hands to rest gently on Matt’s hips, careful to not get them too close to his backside or anywhere else that could seem too far. He pulled his friend down a little, and pushed his head and neck up to match the force of the kiss. He felt Matt move his hips slightly and could feel that he was hard too through his joggers. His face burned up at this and he felt a little less embarrassed now that it was a shared experience.

Matt leaned up a little and broke the kiss, he tried to catch his breath and swung the leg that was between Ryan’s out and over so that his knees were on either side of his hip. He looked down at the bearded face and smiled a crooked smile at him. He thought that like this Ryan almost looked pretty. It was an interesting thought to have while both of them were hard and kissing and exploring new territory but he thought it was appropriate in the moment. He let himself sit down fully into Ryan’s lap and he continued to lick at his tongue and teeth and lips until the straining in his pants became a little too much. Needing to blunt the edge of the feeling he pressed forward, dragging his hips up to test Ryan’s reaction. Ryan’s eyes fluttered a little behind his closed eyes and a breath forced its way out of his throat and Matt found that the sound only lit more of a fire in him. He pulled away so that he could see Ryan’s face. This time he pressed backward, purposefully dragging his backside over Ryan’s crotch. The sound he got in return made his back tense and his head spin. Harrison told him he just took the opportunity to test it, right?

Ryan gripped a little hard into Matt’s hips as he moved himself back and felt his ears burn as he was unable to keep a soft, subdued moan from being drawn out from deep in his throat. He opened his eyes a sliver to look up at Matt and wanted to ask just what it was that he was doing. “Matt” it came out a little quieter and a lot more breathy than he wanted. Before he could find the right words to ask, Matt’s head was buried between his neck and shoulder and he was kissing lightly into the skin there. His hips began to move slowly over him, and Ryan swallowed in any questions or protests that he had when the pleasure of it replaced any fear.

It continued for a while, Matt moving himself and kissing from Ryan’s face to his neck and back, and Ryan rubbing up and down Matt’s back with one hand and gripping into his hip with the other. Ryan moved his legs to plant his feet into the mattress and press up into Matt’s ass more firmly. The movement caused Matt’s crotch to press into his stomach and the man above him let out a shaky laugh that sounded too close to a moan. His thighs tensed at the sound and he felt himself throb under pressure of Matt being on top of him. Matt didn’t stop rocking and moving as he kissed him and he felt an all too familiar feeling growing in the base of his spine.

He squeezed a little hard into Matt’s hip and whispered his name to get his attention, to tell him they should probably slow down. Matt was busy kissing into his neck and he said his name again. Then, after a particularly wet kiss into his skin Matt opened his mouth and experimentally bit down into him and it was too late. His mind flashed back and forth to the video he watched a few weeks ago; when the man in the video lost it to the very same thing, and to the feeling of Matt and the way Matt looked above him just before. He grit his teeth and his legs tensed to the point they were shaking. A groan ripped through him and he was coming.

He felt Matt’s mouth go still against his neck and he slowly opened his eyes to see him sitting up straight above him. “Fuck, fuck.” He pulled himself out from under Matt to sit up fully against the wall and tried to give the other his space. “I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry Matt.” He felt like a stupid teenage that just ruined his first time hooking up with someone, but worse because this was his friend. To his surprise, Matt leaned forward to kiss him again and gently place a hand on his cheek.

When he pulled back he laughed a little and shrugged. “It’s fine. I mean, it was kinda -”

“Gross, I know I’m sorry.”

“-hot.”

Ryan looked at him and blinked a couple times. That was the first time either of them acknowledged anything sexual about the situations. Even though he had been, and now he was sure Matt was as well, hard during most of their makeouts they hadn’t said anything about it being more than just keeping each other company in a way. He relaxed a little into the wall and allowed himself to slump down. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

**=x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE **

Matt leaned forward again, close to Ryan’s face. Ryan was the one to close the gap this time, he kissed him softly and kept it chaste. Now that he was a little less stressed he could enjoy the afterglow of the situation. He gave Matt a couple more gentle kisses before remembering that he was definitely the only one to come from that. “Do you want me to like…” he wasn’t sure what he was asking to do, or what would even come of the question.

“Oh, huh. No, I feel like that’s a lot.” Matt shook his head and crawled off of the other man to find another spot on the bed to sit on. He was only half-hard since they had stopped getting hot and heavy and wanted to cool down the rest of the way. “You might wanna change before that gets all crusty though.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didja like that?  
You filthy fucks.  
Things are beginning to escalate huh?  
Let me know your thoughts here or on tumblr!


	11. The Party Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Ryan attend Leighton's party
> 
> The Ryan says something that might shake things up a little

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause! I wasn't feeling well and couldn't focus on writing at all.  
Hit me up on tumblr @gravetimes  
Is there any other social media you prefer to tumblr? Any other sites I should check out besides AO3? I kinda dig this site so I haven't been looking for others.

Matt watched as Ryan dug through his drawers for a new outfit. The way Ryan moved was awkward, his legs looked a little weak and it was obvious he was uncomfortable with the sticky patch in his shorts. Matt felt his eyelids get a little heavier at the sight and he bit his lip. Making his friend come in his pants wasn’t what he had planned to do. They were experimenting, ‘doing what felt right’, maybe helping each other blow off some steam and feel a little less lonely in the big city they lived in. He shook his head when he felt his flagging erection begin to come to life again and laid back into the wall. When he heard the door close he let out a deep breathe and began to scroll around on his phone.

A few minutes passed and Matt hardly noticed Ryan sneak back into the bedroom. He watched him as he put his old shorts in his hamper and sat on the edge of the bed. An awkward silence fell between them and they sat in it for a few minutes before Matt began to laugh. “Never thought this is what I’d be doing on a Thursday, y’know?”

Ryan turned to him and chuckled before moving to sit more fully on the bed. “What, Matt? You didn’t think you’d be hooking up with your coworker and making them cum their pants?”

That statement made Matt crinkle up his nose in fake disgust before letting out a heartfelt laugh. They laughed together for a little while before Ryan suggested they get something to eat. They moved to the living room and ate a quick meal in the comfortable quiet of each other’s company. The TV droned on in the background and Matt decided to lean into Ryan’s side after eating half of his food, enjoying the closeness after such an intimate act. When Ryan reached the end of his meal he slouched back a little into the couch and put his arm around Matt and closed his eyes.

“Are you going to Leighton’s party this weekend?” Matt asked and looked out the corner of his eye to see Ryan’s reaction.

He could see the slight frown from behind his facial hair. “Ah, I don’t know. I heard a lot of people are going.”

“Aw, c’mon Ry! I’m gonna go, you should come with me.”

“You askin’ me on a date big boy?”

Matt let out a hearty laugh at that. “If that’s what it takes!”

Ryan’s face still held a little bit of a frown at the thought. Parties had never been his favorite thing to attend, especially when he knew they were going to be big events. He mulled over the idea of going, and weighed the options. He could probably find a way to enjoy going, especially if he knew Matt would be there for him to escape with if it got to be too much. “Fine, I’ll go.”

* * *

The next day and a half passed without much event and without the two YouTubers seeing each other. Ryan had nearly forgotten about the party until Matt texted him around 5 P.M. asking if they were driving there together or ubering. Ryan groaned a little and thought about ditching the event before remembering how excited Matt was when he tried to get him to go. He smiled and texted back that he would drive over to Matt’s and then they’d take a cab together.

Dressing up for a party wasn’t something he normally did, but he felt like maybe looking at least presentable today. A few outfits were tossed onto the bed haphazardly and he sorted through pieces that could possibly look nice together. Finally, he decided on a black t-shirt with one red sleeve and one yellow sleeve and a blue collar, a pair of black soft denim shorts and a thin sleeveless zip up hoodie. All in all it was a pretty nice outfit and he smiled at himself in the mirror, dressing up every once in a while could be nice but it wasn’t something he wanted to focus on everyday. He killed time on his laptop before Matt sent him another text that they should head out soon. He grabbed the things he might need; phone, keys, wallet, lighter, powerbank, and slid them into his pockets before heading out.

The ride to Matt’s apartment was pretty quick and there was surprisingly little traffic. Matt strolled out of the main entrance a few minutes later and waved at him as he got out of the car. They ordered a cab and waited to arrive to the party.

When they pulled up to Leighton’s place the sky was already getting pretty dark and they could hear the music playing faintly from outside. There was a small group of people standing outside on the lawn and they nodded their ‘hellos’ as they walked in. Inside was much louder than outside, but not so loud that they couldn’t hear the conversations that were happening in the cleared space and of the living room. As they walked deeper into the space, headed toward the kitchen they ran into Leighton and she let out a small shout of excitement.  
  
“Hey Matt! Ryan! You’re here!” She swayed a little as she spoke to them and Ryan’s nose twitched at the smell of weed that followed her over to them.

“Yeah, Matt convinced me to show up, so-” He put his hands out and did a little spin.

  
The other two laughed at his gesture and Leighton clapped a hand over both boy’s shoulders. “I’m glad the two of you are here! Go get a drink and come to the backyard if you wanna smoke.” She walked back off and began chatting with other people at the party.

Matt turned to Ryan and asked “You wanna go grab a drink?”

Ryan nodded and the two went off to get drinks. In the kitchen they chatted with some people they knew through Leighton and other friends as they used the comically large ladle to spoon the bright red punch into plastic. The host always had an affinity for themes and throwing parties so it really fit to have this style of serving drinks. They chatted idly for a while and Ryan coughed a little at how strong the drink was. After some time had passed Ryan asked Matt if he wanted to go outside to smoke with the others. Matt took a moment to think about it, he normally didn’t smoke but Ryan had actually come out tonight and he wanted to enjoy the time with him so he nodded.

Being outside was a welcome change for Ryan. It felt less tight and cramped, and the little breeze that went by was a nice change from the stuffy air. They quickly found the people that were passing around a little electronic vaping pen and joined in the little circle. They chatted idly as they waited for their turn and passed the time cracking jokes with the other party goers. Matt noticed that Ryan looked as though he was starting to feel a little more comfortable and he smiled. They pen made its way around a few times and when it landed in Matt’s hand again he looked at it, his head already swimming a little and he shook his head, smiled and passed it to Ryan.

Ryan took a long pull and passed it before letting the small cloud of smoke escape him with a laugh. Matt watched as the grey whisps passed by his lips and he felt like he was in a trance. He wet his own lips with his tongue and reached out to pull on Ryan’s wrist. Ryan raised his eyebrows and handed the vape to the next person in the circle before allowing himself to be pulled away.

Matt lead him away from the group and around the corner of the house to the small alleyway that lead from the backyard to the front of the house. Ryan let Matt move him until he was up against the wall of the house and Matt was pushed up against the chest, playing with the strings of his hoodie. He turned to look down the path to make sure no one could see them and questioned the slightly taller man “Hey, what’s going on?”

Matt didn’t look at him, he just kept rolling one of the cords between his fingers. “I don’t know, I just wanted to be alone with you for a minute.”

Ryan tried to search his face for some sort of clue as to what was going on but through the haze in his own mind he couldn’t figure it out. Matt finally looked at him and sputtered out “I just thought you looked kinda hot while you were smoking.”

Ryan felt his eyebrows raise and a smile break out on his face and then they were both laughing. He wasn’t sure if it was because they were both sufficiently high or because of the way Matt just blurted it out but there was something comical about the situation. They laughed for a few more moments before catching their breath. Matt was still pressed up against his chest and so he slid his hand onto his hip. Matt finally looked at him and there was a slight pause before they were kissing. Ryan had kissed people before, and he had smoked before, but this was the first time he had ever kissed someone while high. It was nice. Making out with someone while hidden away at a party was also nice, very high school, but nice.  
  
He let out a chuckle as Matt kissed down his face into his neck. The feeling caught him by surprise and he couldn’t help but laugh. Matt had busied himself in kissing his neck but he couldn’t really feel what was going on due to his dulled senses. Ryan felt a hushed groan slip out past his lips and he pushed Matt back a little so he could see his face. He kissed him and whispered something about heading back to the party to grab a beer. Matt nodded and smiled goofily at him and followed him back into the house.

They enjoyed the party for about two more hours, walking idly through the house and making conversation with other people. Matt convinced Ryan to spend a little time dancing in the living room, and the both laughed as he just swayed back and forth. Ryan had to admit that he was pretty happy that Matt convinced him to come out. He was having fun and it gave him the chance to catch up with some friends he didn’t talk to often enough. Eventually they both began to grow a little tired and decided to head out, so they went to find Leighton on the front lawn before they left.

When they found Leighton she was ushering people into a cab to make sure they got home safely. They waited for her to be free before calling her over to say their goodbyes. When she walked over her face changed into one of excitement and she laughed loud before clapping Ryan on the shoulder and giggling “Ryan! Who did you hook up with at my party?”

Ryan’s eyebrows grew close together in confusion at her gleeful question. “What are you talking about?”

Her finger pointed to his neck and her grin only grew larger. “You have a hickey on your neck, dude.”

Before thinking Ryan slapped a hand over they mark and shouted “Matt!”

There was a heavy silence as Ryan realized what he just did and move his hand to cover his mouth and Leighton and Matt’s eyes grew wide. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit Ry! What does this mean for our boys?


	12. Oh No! Not Another Author Created Movie!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh! What does Leighton know?  
Or, what does she think she might know?  
And what does this mean for our boys?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey what's up? I'm Enoch and I've been listening to a lot of Freddie Dredd and getting sad at night!  
Wanna chat or send me something? Come to my tumblr @graventimes <3  
Love ya, my readers! Really I do!

They stood there in a shocked silence for what felt like hours to Ryan. Leighton cleared her throat and pushed a breath past her lips before laughing softly. “Are you two dating? And you didn’t tell me?” Her smile was soft and welcoming to the idea, but the question still make them both take a step back. 

Matt’s eyes twitched open wider and he shook his head. The two men shouted out “No.” at the same time, and it must have been louder than they wanted it to be because Leighton held up her hands defensively in response. 

“Woah, ok. Calm down.” She reached up to tug at a short piece of hair that poked out from the back of her beanie. Her head bobbed as she nodded at them, thinking. She frowned at them and turned and began to walk away before motioning for them to follow her. When they reached a patch of lawn that was quieter and far enough away from any other party-goers she tried again, pointing back and forth between the two of her friends. “So you two aren’t dating. Right?”

Matt shook his head again, telling her “No.” again, this time calmer and quieter. 

“Oh, cool.” She shrugged at them but then stared at Ryan through heavily hooded eyes. “But Matt gave you that hickey right? Or am I lost?” 

Ryan didn’t know how to respond. It was his fault this conversation was happening in the first place. They never discussed whether or not they were cool with anyone knowing they were hooking up. The easier answer was that Matt probably didn’t want anyone to know who he was hooking up with, and didn’t want anyone speculating about the fact that it was a guy. Their friends wouldn’t give a shit, but there were still some people out there that would make comments or ask questions or throw them the unwelcome “I knew it!”. 

Ryan began to shake his head to deny it when he heard Matt whisper a “Yeah.” He turned his head to look at him, mind now swarming with his own questions. They had been hooking up for a little while now, nothing serious had happened and no super intimate talks had been had. He figured that it was something that would stay between them, something to kill time, blow off steam and have fun. They were both single and apparently willing to mess around, it made a lot of sense if he just thought it through, right?

Matt stared down at the ground and shrugged at her. “Nothings really going on though, y’know? Just fucking around. You know we’d tell you if some real shit was happening.” 

Leighton seemed to think this was a fine answer, she laughed cheerfully and smiled at them before answering “Yeah, sure alright. Whatever makes you happy dudes. Get home safe okay?” and pulling them into a hug. She took a sip from the beer she had been holding and began to walk back off to go inside and continue entertaining her guests. 

Matt turned to Ryan, half looking at him and half searching for somewhere else to rest his eyes while telling him that he would call a cab for them to get back to his apartment. They stood on the lawn for a bit while they waited. Ryan kicked a crumpled can towards Matt’s feet and smiled when his friend kicked it back. At one particularly hard kick the can went rolling into the street and stopped just as their ride pulled up. They climbed into the backseat and greeted the driver, and rode out most of the drive in silence. With about ten minutes remaining Matt began to roll his thumbs around each other and whispered to Ryan in a hushed voice, “Sorry, man.” 

Ryan couldn’t stop the perplexed sound that came out of him, “What?” He cleared his throat before he continued, “What the hell are you sorry for?” 

“For selling us out, or whatever.” 

“Uh,” Ryan closed his eyes and shook his head, “I’m kinda that one that like” he held his hands out in front of him and shook them for emphasis, “gave it away.” 

Matt laughed at this and leaned back into the seat and they waited until they were back home. 

* * *

Getting into the apartment was easy enough, but taking their sneakers off at the door was a whole different story. During the car ride the shock from their conversation wore off and they were able to feel the effects from the liquor and vape once again. While untying his shoes, Matt had fallen completely on the floor, and seeing this happen, Ryan elected to sit on the couch before pulling his off. After they successfully put them in a sloppy pile by the door they hobbled off to Matt’s room. 

Matt clambered onto the bed and threw his face into the pillow while Ryan opened the laptop on the desk and found a movie to watch on Netflix, and huffed as he sat on the floor. It was a poorly rated comedy about some subaverage man trying to win the heart of the woman he loved with a pair of socks that made him irresistible. Ryan rolled his eyes at the description and turned around to talk to Matt. 

“You drunk?” 

“A little. You?”

“A little.” Ryan looked at Matt’s form lying on the bed as the sound of the movie droned on in the background. He stayed seated on the floor and then cursed under his breath. 

“What’s wrong?” Matt lifted his head up a little to question the quiet complaint. 

“Nah, I just probably have to sleep here but I didn’t bring pajamas. And I wore like, real shorts instead of comfortable ones today.” 

“Hmm,” Matt rolled onto his back, “just take ‘em off. Boxers are like sleep shorts anyway.” 

Ryan waited a beat before making a sound of apprehension. Matt sat up on the bed and began to shimmy out of his own jeans. “Fuck it, I’m getting comfy too, bro.” They both shed their pants, Ryan remained on the floor and tried to make sense of the movie and Matt tapped at a game on his phone. 

The man seated on the floor shifted a couple times before he deemed the floor too uncomfortable to continue sitting on and he climbed up onto the bed to join his friend. Matt shut his phone as he felt the bed move with Ryan’s weight and sat up to give him room. He leaned over to his desk drawer and grabbed a deck of cards and began shuffling them. Matt dealt them each a hand to play a simple game of War. The game didn’t do much to hold their attention and he began to chew the inside of his cheek before speaking. “I get it if you wanna stop now.” 

Ryan’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “The card game?”

“No,” Matt put down an 8 and waited for Ryan’s card. “Making out, or whatever.” 

Ryan snorted “Making out or whatever. You make it sound like we're in high school.” He played his card; a Queen, and put both cards into his pile. “Why would I want to stop?” 

The frown that quickly spread on Matt’s face was one of confusion and anticipated rejection. “I don’t know!” He clapped both of his hands over his face and fell backward into the bed. “What if more people find out? I don’t think I want to have that conversation with them.” 

“I mean I don’t really plan on telling people,” Ryan began to laugh and threw his hand of cards onto Matt’s chest. “But does it even matter? Dude get up.”

Reluctantly, Matt sat up and pouted at Ryan which made the other man giggle even more. They both laughed for a while and settled into each other, trying to watch the horrible movie unfold on the screen in front of them. When the movie got to be too much Matt grabbed the laptop and opened Google Maps so he could show Ryan some cool places he wanted to show him when they went to Japan. They spent about an hour and a half looking at different locations and then distracting themselves by pulling up memes and videos they found funny. 

Ryan leaned closer to Matt and felt a heat begin to flood his face. He really did enjoy his time with Matt, and he was glad they didn’t decide to call off the whole ‘making out or whatever’ thing they were doing. He pressed his shoulder into the other a little more and whispered, “Are you still drunk?” 

“Nah I think that passed,” Matt replied before looking next to him to see Ryan’s face. The heavily lidded eyes and slightly parted mouth he was greeted with quickly changed the tone in the room. “Are you?”

Ryan shook his head, “No, tipsy at most now. Why, you want me to drive home?”

Matt poked his tongue out to wet his lips and moved his hand to rest over Ryan’s, “No, you can stay if you want.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems they have managed to side step some drama for now, but is it resolved or just paused?  
Also the next chapter should be fun.


	13. The Post Party Slumps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is ... saucy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably know this by now, but you can follow me on tumblr @graventimes  
Hope this chap is a good one, I haven't written any ~dirty~ scenes this detailed before. I think? Welp.

Ryan smiled at Matt’s quiet response. He had never been good at flirting, but with Matt it seemed to come easier and he felt more of a drive to continue to try it out. He reached out a hand and placed Matt’s thigh, his thumb gently pressing into the flesh there. “I mean, I think I’m fine to drive back, I don’t want to sleep on your floor if I don’t have to.”

Matt’s eyes lowered to the hand on his leg and he bit at his lip before answering, “I don’t know.” He looked up into Ryan’s face and traced his hand up the arm that was holding onto him. “I think I might have to keep you here, make sure you don’t get pulled over or something.” 

The laugh Matt got in response warmed his body and he felt himself relax into the grip and slow movement of the thumb on his thigh. They kept their eyes locked for a moment, a gentle silence falling over them before Ryan moved in to press his nose and forehead to Matt’s. Their breaths mixed as they waited for the other to break the tension, Matt’s hand gripping Ryan’s arm and Ryan’s thumb sliding dangerously far up Matt’s thigh. 

Matt pressed forward first, but Ryan returned the motion with more force. Their mouths met awkwardly, and they pulled back apart as Ryan’s teeth hit Matt’s lip. They found their rhythm shortly after, Ryan gently pressed into Matt’s form, causing him to lean back. They lazily kissed until Matt eagerly opened his mouth and they licked into each other. Heat began to grow between their faces until Matt pulled back and smiled languidly, blissed out and face red. He laughed somewhere deep and his chest and whispered, “What are we doing?” 

Ryan shrugged at him and moved to nose at his neck, “Just fucking around, right?” He pressed a kiss into Matt’s neck before resting his forehead against his shoulder. Matt scooted back into the corner of the bed where the pillows were piled up and he leaned back into them. He chuckled, smiled at Ryan and gave a quick shrug before motioning him over to where he was reclined. Ryan took a moment to take in the site, Matt’s face was flushed and while he wasn’t exactly pitching a tent, there was definitely something going on in his ‘sleep shorts’. The bed moved as Ryan made his way over to Matt by knee-walking across the mattress and it groaned as he leaned down over the other man to give him a chaste kiss. 

Matt tugged him forward by the front of the shirt and Ryan situated himself so he had his knees tight together between Matt’s legs and he hovered his body over him. He made sure that his body stay over Matt’s in an awkward arch, he didn’t want to initiate too much physical contact or press too much of his weight into him. Hands cupped his stubbled face and dragged his head down in for more kisses. His brain began to swim with the feeling, he wasn’t truly high or drunk anymore but there was still a faint fuzz around the edge of his consciousness. He sighed into the kisses and placed a hand on Matt’s shoulder. They began to kiss more open mouthed and wet, and after a few minutes, Matt pulled away and huffed. 

Before Ryan could ask what was wrong, Matt pouted up at him and whined, “Can you just come closer? You’re like holding yourself up.” 

**=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE **

“O-oh. Yeah, sure.” Ryan repositioned himself so he was still between Matt’s legs but he let himself settled down a little and spread his legs more. Like this, Matt’s thighs rested on his and he could feel the complete intensity of the heat rolling off his friend’s body. He leaned forward to take Matt’s mouth into another kiss and as a consequence their torsos and lower bodies slide into one another. A slight whine pushed past Matt’s mouth and he gripped into Ryan’s arm as he continued to kiss him. In an automatic response Ryan pushed his hips harder into the other’s and he felt a familiar hardness press up into him. 

For a moment he enjoyed the humour of the situation; the last time they got this hot and heavy he was in Matt’s position, but this time he had the upper hand. He slowly slid the hand that rested on Matt’s shoulder up and behind him to cup at the back of his head and add more pressure to where their mouths connected. Dry humping like this had always seemed so trivial and juvenile when he thought of it in the past, but now it seemed so much more enticing and fulfilling and definitely more attractive than ever. With another roll of his hips he found himself joining Matt in the enjoyment of it, the outline of his own cock brushing up against the other. They stopped kissing in order to catch their breaths and Ryan hung his head so it rested on top of Matt’s and he closed his eyes. He swallowed in a breath and softly scratched at the back of Matt’s head where his hand had been resting. “Maybe we should slow down?” 

Matt shifted below him, the movement drew out another shaky breath from both of them. He traced his fingers up Ryan’s arm in a ghost like touch and threaded his fingers through his tied up hair. “Should we?” 

“I don’t know.” He paused for a moment, “It’s getting kinda…” 

“Hard?” Matt asked, with a grin spread on his face. 

“Dude! Come on, I was being serious for a minute. I meant intense.” 

Matt nodded, “Do you wanna stop?” 

There was a beat of quiet before Ryan pressed back down into Matt’s body and began to kiss him again. He felt Matt smile into his mouth and his knees press into his sides. When he felt confident enough, Ryan began to rock his hips shallowly against the skinnier man. On one particularly firm thrust their lengths lined up in a way that had Matt whining into his mouth again and Ryan shuddered. One of his hands slid down Matt’s side and gripped into his hip, and he kept the other carded through Matt’s hair as he moved against him. The movement of Matt’s tongue slowed and his breaths became heavier and every so often they were punctuated by a moan that was just barely audible. Ryan noticed this and took a moment to absorb the situation. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on, and they were basically still fully clothed. 

Ryan kissed at his neck and continued the slow movement of his hips as Matt’s hand tightened in his bun. Absentmindedly he allowed his thumb to slip under the waistband of Matt’s boxers as he pressed his nose firmly into the space behind his friend’s neck and ear. Matt pursed his lips together and hummed out a “mmmm” before gasping when Ryan rolled his hips faster than before. “Fuck.” Matt muttered, more to himself than to the man above him and he threw his arms around Ryan’s neck and pulled him over to his face in a sloppy kiss full of breath, tongue and groans. Then, he pressed his head back into the mass of pillows against the wall and shook out a, “Ry, fuck Ryan.” 

“Hmmm?” was all Ryan could get out in response as he stared down at the way Matt’s face was slack and flushed. 

“Ry, do you think you could touch me or something?” 

Ryan swallowed thickly, metaphorically swallowing down any questions or reservations he had in the same motion. He nodded his head, “Yeah, um, yeah I think I can do that.” He stroked at warm skin with the thumb he had snuck under Matt’s waistband and listened as the other man sucked in a breath as he did it. He moved to bring his other hand down as well and mimic the way his other finger was caught under the fabric before tugging it down just a few inches. The way the fabric bunched up outlined Matt’s cock so Ryan could see it in a way he never had before and he waited a moment for some type of confirmation that this was what Matt had meant. 

Matt responded in a huff and canted his hips up in an attempt to help Ryan continue what he was doing. This was what Ryan needed so he continued to pull down on the article of clothing. The waistband got caught for a moment before snapping down and revealing Matt to Ryan and the air of the room. Ryan slide one of his hands from Matt’s hip to the thin, wispy hairs that covered on his lower stomach and crotch, one of his fingers grazed the base as he tested the waters and got closer. “Fuck, Ry, please.” 

The way Matt whined out the ‘please’ caused a stab of pleasure to jolt in Ryan’s gut and he felt his own dick respond with a twitch. Growing bolder, he took the length of Matt into his hand and slowly dragged his hand up, pausing just below the head. Matt leaned his head back again and let a lazy smile spread across his face. Ryan laughed quietly to himself and began to figure out the most comfortable way to run his fist up and down from this new perspective. This was the first time he was, and he was sure this was true for Matt too, fooling around with another guy and there definitely had to be some type of learning curve. 

He leaned back over Matt and pressed a kiss into the corner of his mouth as he continued to slowly pump a loose fist down his shaft and over the head. Matt turned his face to kiss Ryan more solidly on the mouth, draped his arms over his shoulders and ran his tongue along the line of his lips. The mixed sensation of Matt’s tongue in his mouth and the feeling of pleasing another person began to fuel Ryan and he made shallow thrusts against one of Matt’s thighs. The pace of his hand began to pick up and he could feel Matt’s free leg twitch against him, the other man opened his mouth and let a hearty moan fall out into the room. “Mmm, yeah Ry, like that.” 

Matt pulled Ryan closer to him, circled his arms around his neck and hid his face in the space between the other’s shoulder and neck. Things had gotten intense pretty quickly, and Ryan was glad he wasn’t looking Matt in the face anymore so a little bit of the pressure could be taken away. He pressed forward again into Matt’s thigh before tightening his grip and stroking him with more intent. Ryan’s other hand, the one that wasn’t busy helping Matt get off, came to rest on the inside of his thigh and rub small circles into the skin there. He began to palm at his own arousal as he focused on the sounds Matt was making and the way he had begun to thrust up into the tight fist he was holding. 

“I think -” Matt took a moment to catch his breath and swallow, “think I’m gonna come.” Ryan responded by nodding his head and pressing his lips back against Matt’s in a firm kiss. Matt let out a low, wanton moan that caused Ryan to groan into his mouth and begin stroking himself through his underwear in time with how he was pleasing his friend. He continued to work the two of them, focusing mainly on Matt’s pleasure and his reactions until he felt the other tense and lift his back slightly off the bed. The jumbled “Ah, fuck. Ryan, yeah.” that graced his ears as thick, warm liquid slid down his still moving hand pushed the fire in his own belly further. Matt’s thighs continued to tighten around his hips as he rode out the end of his orgasm, and Ryan shoved his hand into his boxers to grasp at his own cock and stroke himself more purposefully. 

As Matt came down from his high he noticed Ryan’s hand and movements and began to kiss at his face and mouth again before sliding a hand down to cover over Ryan’s. The larger man paused for a moment, but when Matt’s hand put pressure onto his to continue moving he did so. Between the sounds Matt had been making and the pent up energy he had been storig, it didn’t take Ryan long to come with a whisper of Matt’s name and a slump forward. After a moment, he rolled over to lay next to Matt in the pile of pillows he was squished into. 

**=x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE **

Ryan turned his head to look at Matt, his friend’s head was leaned back, stretching out his neck, and his eyes were closed. He was silent for a moment, and then began to chuckle softly. Matt joined him in the laughter and turned to look at him, his eyes heavily lidded and his smile a little crooked. Ryan held both of his hands up, inspected them and made a soft sound of disgust before wiping them on his shirt. Matt’s face twisted up, “Ugh, dude, why?” and he sat up on the bed and pointed where a box of tissues sat on the desk. “Fuckin’ nasty, man.” 


	14. Just Call Me Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepy boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like, only 35% nsfw! And 50% plot! What is the other 15%? Me still making up horrible titles to the chapters!

They laid there for a while, staring at the ceiling and trying to quiet their breathing. Matt rolled over after a few minutes and pressed a soft kiss into Ryan’s cheek, letting his nose linger there for a moment. When he rolled back over Ryan got up and began to go through the drawer he knew Matt kept his shirts in. 

“You’re just going to go through my stuff now?” 

Ryan snorted at the question, “I kinda need a new shirt.” He pulled out a plain white shirt that looked like it would fit him and padded off to the bathroom to wash up. He scrubbed at his hands and used a wet paper towel to try and wash out the stain on his shirt. His nose scrunched up at the sticky mess and he decided to just wait until laundry day and got changed.

As Ryan stepped into the hall again, holding his dirty, rolled up shirt, something made him turn his gaze the other way and into the living room. Harrison was sitting on the couch, one arm propped up his head and he was wearing headphones. When their eyes locked Harrison pursed his lips and gave one short wave and almost immediately looked away. Even though they were no longer looking at each other, Ryan waved back and quickly went back into Matt’s room. 

“Harrison is home.” Ryan whispered as he tossed his shirt onto a chair. 

“Ha, probably passed out on the couch, right?”

A shake of the head was the only response and Ryan moved to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“Oh.” Matt nodded a couple times, processing. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes a little too hard and rubbed. “Well, that makes two people I guess.” 

“Listen, I don’t care if our friends know that we have this friends with benefits situation or whatever.” Matt’s ears perked up, he wasn’t expecting this to turn into a full blown conversation again. They also hadn’t decided on or spoken about a term for it, and it made his belly warm to have some type of label. He sat up to give Ryan a little more support as he continued. “But I don’t want to talk about it either.”

“Okay.” Was all Matt could say in response, Ryan had always been better at talking things out.

“I don’t know if I’m gay or bi or whatever-the-fuck, obviously I was wrong about being straight, and I just don’t want people to talk to me about that. Yet.”

“That’s fair. I had a hard time talking about it with Harrison.”

“You talked to Harrison about this?!” If Harrison wasn’t wearing headphones he definitely would have heard that, Ryan was a little taken aback by Matt’s statement. 

“No! No!” Matt waved his hands at Ryan, trying to calm him down. “About maybe not being straight.” 

This time it was Ryan’s turn to simply say, “Oh.”

“Yeah, you’re not the only one a little confused, surprise.” They both laughed at this until Matt’s laughing turned into a yawn. “Listen, not to be that guy, but I just got off real good and now I can use a nap.” 

Ryan nodded and began to steal away one of the blankets and threw a pillow on the floor when Matt grabbed his arm and whispered, “You can just… stay in the bed. We’ve already crossed a line.” They were both asleep within minutes. 

* * *

When Ryan woke up he was half hanging off Matt’s double bed and his face was hot. Matt was still sound asleep, curled up on his side with his back to Ryan. With a shake of his hair and a sleepy yawn, Ryan left the room to go to the kitchen and get water and air. Harrison was in the kitchen microwaving something that smelt vaguely sweet. Ryan coughed to announce his presence and opened the refrigerator to grab a water bottle. An awkward silence fell between them until Ryan broke it, “So did you-”

Before he could even get the rest of the sentence out Harrison nodded and the microwave answered as well with a beep. Harrison turned to face the microwave and retrieve his frozen pancakes, “Yeah, listen, you know I don’t care about that stuff. You’re good.” 

Something about his nonchalance towards the subject relaxed Ryan and he was able to find his way back to the bedroom without any worries. When he got back, Matt was awake and dazedly staring at nothing in front of him. Ryan sat on the desk chair and mentioned that he should get heading home so he could situate himself before they had to start recording again. Matt smiled at him, gave him a soft kiss and then laid back down on the bed, face in the pillows. 

After that, they didn’t hook up for a while. Things had gotten very busy for them; between settling into the office, filing paperwork and finding some type of schedule that fits them and their team they didn’t have the time or energy for it. While eating they would still sit shoulder to shoulder, and during recording sessions Matt found himself curled into Ryan’s side. There were chaste, soft kisses between episodes and to say goodbye at the end of the day, but they hadn’t gone any further than a ten-minute makeout sesh where Matt grabbed at Ryan’s ass in two weeks. It didn’t really bother either of them, and they seemed satisfied with the small amount of intimacy they were able to sneak in. 

On a particularly humid day they found themselves sitting next to each other in desk chairs, watching live footage and trying to determine how they were going to edit it. Jackson was in the next room over organizing a shelf of retro games and consoles and shouting to them about how they reminded him of different parts of his childhood through the closed door. Matt began to grow bored of the work in front of him and tried to find ways to distract himself. He leaned into Ryan, letting the arm of his chair press into his side as he did so, and took out his phone. 

“Dude, pay attention.” 

Matt pouted and slid his phone back into his pocket and rolled his eyes. He tried to force himself to pay attention for a few more minutes before he found his mind wandering off again. Blue eyes slowly peeled away from the computer screen to stare at the bearded face and a cheshire-like grin began to spread on Matt’s face. He pressed himself more firmly into Ryan’s side and slide a hand onto his friend’s thigh, gently stroking at the basketball shorts. 

**=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE **

Ryan continued to work and then, suddenly his eyes widened and he snapped his head to the side to look at Matt as fingers traced the outline of his dick through his shorts. He gritted his teeth and hissed out a whispered, “Dude. We’re at work, Jackson is here.” 

Matt shrugged and rolled his chair away from the desk, spinning in it as he slid across the room. Time ticked by and Matt had the urge to try again, so he scooted his chair behind Ryan’s. This time, he reached his arms around the chair and slithered his hands down Ryan’s sides and back onto his crotch. He felt Ryan shoot up, and then grab his wrists before looking back at him and punching out, “Matthew.” firmly at him. Something about the tone of his voice, and the authority of it lit a spark in the base of Matt’s spine, but he filed it away to address at another time. 

Ryan held onto his wrists, keeping them just out of reach of his groin when they heard Jackson mention the time, that he was hungry and going home, and then the definitive ‘thunk’ of the office door. Ryan sighed and let go of Matt’s hands once he was sure that Jackson was gone. Matt waited a moment, trying to see if it was okay now, and when Ryan didn’t bat his hands away or say anything he decided to attempt it one last time. When his hands found Ryan’s dick again it was incredibly hard, probably from a combination of the thrill and the lack of action they had seen recently. 

Matt made quick work of repositioning himself to stand and lean over Ryan’s chair and hurriedly jerk him off as he leaned back into the office chair. Now that he was more used to it, he made sure to scan the room for a stray pile of napkins in order to avoid any mess as he kissed into Ryan’s neck and stroked at his length faster. “Fuck, you couldn’t wait until he was -” Ryan paused for a moment to groan, “gone or something?” 

Matt laughed and planted a kiss to the side of Ryan’s face, focusing more on squeezing his fist over the head instead of moving along the entire shaft. “I was bored.” He breathed out into the seated man’s ear. Ryan’s breath began to speed up and he tried to hold back a moan, catching it in his throat before letting it fall out of his mouth. Matt used his free hand to snatch the napkin and protect the furniture from any possible stained as Ryan bit into his own hand and came. 

The napkin was crumpled up and tossed at a nearby trashcan and Matt turned Ryan around to kiss him fully on the mouth. He managed to slide his knees onto either side of Ryan and the chair whined in protest. From this position he was able to kiss into Ryan’s mouth from above and guide his thick hand over to his growing erection. It didn’t take long for Ryan to bring Matt over the edge and let the skinny man join him in post-orgasm bliss. 

**=x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE **

Ryan made sure to throw out the garbage that night instead of waiting for trash pick up day. “You really couldn’t wait? Or just invite me over or something.”

“Hey!” Matt shouted, his mouth full of instant ramen. “I told you I was bored. It was fun, right?” 

Ryan shook his head and laughed. It had been a little while, and it was fun. He hadn’t gotten off at all since they had hooked up last, he had been so tired he didn’t even jerk off when he was alone in his own apartment. There was also something a little thrilling about doing these things in the office, this place they had grown together and cultivated into something amazing. He was also a little less nervous about people finding out since they had already experienced it twice now. He threw his mouse pad at Matt and pretended to scold him, “Bad boy, not in the office.” before beginning to shut down his computer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Still vibing?   
Wanna chat or follow me? My tumblr is @graventimes  
That's right, I put it at the end this time! Really shaking things up.


	15. Apple Juice and Peach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens in Japan, stays in .... actually it's most likely going to come back to California with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title inspired by a Dodie song.   
My name is Enoch and I'm sorry it's been a while since I updated this! Some major shit went down.   
Wanna chat? Hang? Send me fanart because two of you have and it is possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me? F  
Then follow me on tumblr @GravenTimes

It became a little bit of a routine for them; they would power through the week, recording videos ahead of time in preparation for their upcoming trip, and on Friday they would hook up at one of their apartments or hidden in the corner of the recording room. That was, until the trip to Japan approached faster than they expected and they had to pull all-nighters to get enough content ready to keep the channel updating while they were away. Before they knew it they were at the airport and ready to take their first trip together as a full-fledged business. 

Sharing hotel rooms and beds with their coworkers made them all but forget that hooking up was even an option. During their trip they decided to go to Shinjuku due to the high concentration of adult-oriented advertisements and stores. They spent the beginning of the night recording enough content for part of their vlogs and went on to enjoy the sights and explore together. Matt snuck off at one point, leaving Ryan and the Tucker brothers lost in what could only be described as a Walmart of sex toys. When they met up again they went out to grab a couple drinks and enjoy the local atmosphere. After getting a decent enough buzz they managed to find their way to the train and get back to their rental apartment. 

Once inside they decided to rent a movie and have a couple more drinks while they ate snacks. They finally decided on a Japanese horror movie that followed around a woman in a ghost realm when Jackson called out “We only have like, one bag of chips in here.” and he quickly grabbed his brother, excited for a Japanese 7-11 run. Matt waited a moment before he held up a finger to Ryan, silently motioning for him to wait a minute as he walked off to grab a plastic bag from across the room. When he sat back down on the couch with Ryan he began to rifle through the bag of trinkets and presents he had purchased, taking out one of the cardboard boxes and presenting it to Ryan with a wicked grin on his face. 

It took Ryan a moment to examine the images on the box, but when his mind finally deciphered them he choked on air and tried to shove the box down and out of sight. 

“What the hell did you buy that for?” He whispered at Matt, trying not to let anyone hear him even though they were alone in the apartment. The carton Matt had shown him was brightly decorated with anime girls in different states of undress, all presenting the viewer with different lewd expressions and poses. Another small picture on the cardboard showed him what was inside, an oddly colored and textured silicone stroker. 

Matt laughed at Ryan’s reaction, “Dude, calm down.” He concealed the toy once again in the plastic bag and put it under the couch. “I thought it would be funny… and maybe fun to try out one day, I don’t know.” 

Ryan scrubbed at his face and exhaled loudly, “What? Okay? I guess. I mean you don’t need one of those, man.”

Matt shrugged and slid down on the couch to get more comfortable. “I know I don’t. I was thinking maybe WE could.” 

Ryan’s face got hot behind his hands and he felt his body react to the implication of Matt’s statement. He wouldn’t mind that, but he didn’t really want to be planning anything like that right now, here in the small studio apartment they were sharing with two other people. The thought of planning something so different, and dirty did catch his interest though. Matt began to talk about the box, his eyes fixated on the cartoons and words written there. Ryan stared at him, he was unable to hear Matt as he butchered the Japanese phrases on the box because his ears were ringing. Something different began to swell in his chest as he watched the smile grow larger and Matt’s movements begin to become more animated. He wanted Matt, but in a way that was different from before. He wanted to hold him, and sift his fingers through his hair, and fall asleep on the small, crappy couch of this AirBNB. ‘Fuck.’ He thought to himself and shook his head as Matt put the box back away and into hiding. ‘It’s been a while, I probably need to get off.’ A few minutes went by until Harrison and Jackson came back and they settled in for their viewing. 

* * *

The rest of the trip went by relatively quickly and without much noteworthy activities. They made sure to visit their favorite spots and explore the towns they stayed in while still gathering enough content for the channel. As they packed their bags to head back to California, Ryan took Matt aside as to ask him a few questions and try to figure out how things were going to work moving forward. 

“So, I wanted to shoot something by you real quick.” Ryan spoke in a low voice, approaching Matt as he hastily shoved clothes into his luggage. 

“Shoot.” Matt didn’t look up from what he was doing, but he did turn his face slightly towards Ryan to show that he was listening. 

“Uhm, so we kinda fucked up and now Harry and Leighton know… so I was wondering if we should clear the air with Harry and Jackson since you kinda live with them and I don’t want Jackson to find out like Harry did?” The words came out of his mouth a little faster and more frantic than he wanted, but he got his point across. 

Matt’s hands slowed down, pushing the clothes into the suitcase slower and slower until they came to a stop and he turned to face Ryan more fully. “You want to them we’re hooking up?” 

Ryan groaned and sat on the edge of the bed. “I mean I didn’t want to at first but I feel like it's inevitable that Jackson will find out too. So, if we keep doing this, if you wanna keep doing it, I don’t want him to walk in on us or something.” 

Matt nodded and turned to walk over to the two brothers as they packed up their own belongings, making Ryan scrambled to his feet to catch up. 

“Hey, so-” Matt began.

“Matt, wait.” 

“Harry you already know, but uh, me and Ryan are fucking or whatever, but just make sure to knock I guess.” 

Jackson’s eyes went wide for a moment and he looked over at Harrison, who shrugged in response and continued to pack. Ryan shoved Matt from behind only to get a “What the fuck?” in response.

“That’s not how I wanted to do it!” 

“What the fuck! You said to tell them!” 

“Not like that!” Ryan huffed at him, thrown by the sudden declaration Matt made. 

Jackson’s eyes shifted between the two of them as they fought. He waited for them to calm down a little before breaching their conversation with a question, “Are you guys like together, or JUST fucking?” 

Matt looked at Ryan, and spoke when Ryan began to massage his temples and nod a ‘go-ahead’ to him. “Like, friends with benefits or whatever.” 

Jackson nodded at this, trying to make sense of it, “So you’re like, still sleeping with other people, okay.” 

A quiet moment passed between them and the tension seemed to grow a little. Ryan shrugged a little and looked down at the floor, “Well I mean, I’m not, but I guess. Yeah.” Matt turned to look at Ryan as he quietly spoke to himself. He wasn’t sleeping with anyone else either, and he didn’t feel the need to. The group stood there for a moment, Harrison continuing to pack in the background, and after a few moments Ryan sighed loudly and walked away to finish getting his things together. 

On the plane ride, the four boys sat next to each other in two rows; Matt with Ryan and the brothers together. After take off, Matt leaned his body to press lightly into Ryan’s arm and whispered a soft apology. Ryan nodded and responded, “Me too.” before sliding his fingers through Matt’s and nodding off. 


	16. Tonkotsu Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're back from Japan, and back after that awkward conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trends I've noticed about my chapter titles:  
Food  
Songs/Arists  
Weirdly vague or weirdly descriptive objects
> 
> Sorry its been forever, promise I'm seeing this project through all the way to the end!!  
Wanna watch my 'blog' for updates? Wanna chat? Catch me on tumblr @graventimes

It took them a few days to get settled back in. Matt felt a little homesick by the time they got back to California, so he ended up spending a lot of time with some of his local friends. He busied himself with late nights out, exploring nearby towns and restaurants and meeting up with anyone and everyone that he missed while he was away. It was different for Ryan, he mostly missed being home, relaxing, and sitting on the couch with Lego. Matt had invited him out on two separate occasions, but Ryan opted to stay in, telling the other that the jet lag had yet to leave him. Their recording schedule was taken care of so that they would have a full week before they had to start recording again and they planned on making the most of it. Three days had gone by so far and Matt and Ryan had hardly talked, besides from checking in with each other and the occasional sharing of memes and instagram posts. Tonight, Ryan had takeout dinner with his roommates and then settled in to play a game by himself after one of the men went out and the other called it a night. He was half asleep on the couch when the sound of his phone vibrating and the controller slipping from his hand roused him enough to be fully awake. 

**From Is That Matt Watson?:** Heyyyy

**From Is That Matt Watson?:** Wyd)

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** ?*

**To Is That Matt Watson?:** Uh nothing much what are you doing?

Matt made typos often when he was texting fast or distracted, so Ryan didn’t think twice about the mistake. 

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** Thinkn bout u

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** ur hands

The content and text-speak of these messages did alert Ryan that something was going on. He shook his head and looked around the room to see if any of his roommates had snuck into the shared living space while he was napping. He read the messages again and wrote a response. 

**To Is That Matt Watson?: ** Have you been drinking? 

The blue dots appeared on the screen and then left for a while, then repeated this action a few times. Ryan chewed on his lip as he waited, hoping that Matt wasn’t either offended or too drunk to answer. 

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** yea

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** went out w people home now

Ryan smiled at his phone as he thought out a response. It really did make him happy when he knew that Matt was having a good time and enjoying himself. His phone buzzed again in his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** u wanna come oveR? ;)

**To Is That Matt Watson?: ** are you asking me to hook up? 

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** yes

Ryan huffed at this. Of course he was used to Matt being forward but he really didn’t think it was a great idea if he had been drinking, and it had been a while since they had gotten together on top of that. While the invitation was inticiting; to say the least, he knew better. 

**To Is That Matt Watson?: ** Not when youre drunk. Maybe tomorrow 

Matt sent a quick “;(“ in reply and let Ryan know that he was going to go to sleep. Ryan reread the messages before turning off the TV and heading to sleep himself. When he got to his room he took off his shorts and slid under the covers and thumbed through his phone, waiting until he felt the need to close his eyes. That feeling never came. Usually, when it got like this, Ryan would jerk off quickly to take his mind off the day and relax. The problem was that he hadn’t really done it since he started hooking up with Matt, so doing it now felt strange, like something he had almost forgotten how to do. He shrugged and unceremoniously shoved his underwear down and off, deciding to just get the process over with. 

=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE 

He began to palm at his still soft cock, trying to wake it up as he scrolled through the front page of a porn site. There were plenty of videos that looked like they would do the job just fine, but nothing that really stood out to him. He rolled his eyes and clicked on the least offensive title, choosing something generic with “blonde” and “curvy” and “cumming” in the description. After a few moments of teasing himself and trying to focus on the woman in the video, Ryan was able to get himself half hard and feel the first gentle signs of pleasure. He leaned back against the wall of his bed and began to sink into the feeling when a notification popped up on his phone. Reluctantly he switched apps to open the message. 

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** Lonely

Attached to the text was a poorly lit and horribly blurry selfie from Matt. He was pouting in the photo, obviously laying in his bed, half covered by blankets and pillows. His face was half obscured by what Ryan assumed was Banana’s tail or paw. 

**To Is That Matt Watson?: ** I see banana, chill with him

Ryan muted his phone and went back to work, trying to save his flagging erection and get off so that he could get some sleep. He got about three minutes in, he was fully hard and finally starting to feel like he was getting someplace. He changed videos to one in the related section that grabbed his focus a little more and picked up the pace. The first real taste of pleasure began to poke at his spine with a green bar appeared at the top of his phone. He swiped it away and continued, only for a new one to take its place. He sighed and paused the video, opening the text. 

=x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE =x= NSFW ENDS HERE 

  
  


**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** wish u were herr

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** here*

This photo was harder to make out at first. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, trying to refocus on the photo. Finally, he was able to make out what was in it. Matt was still lying in bed, but he was definitely shirtless. The photo only captured his face from mouth down, and then get most of his chest. Matt’s hand was pressed firmly into the mattress, where there was a big, empty space with a pillow. Ryan laughed at this, it was a stupid gesture, but he found it insanely sweet in the moment. The photo highlighted the spot was where Ryan had slept the night after Leighton’s party. The longer he stared at the photo, the more Ryan grew aware of the warm, heavy feeling in his chest. He hovered his thumb over the photo before deciding to save it into his phone and quickly replied to Matt. 

**To Is That Matt Watson?: ** Go to sleep I’ll stay over tomorrow

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** promise?

**To Is That Matt Watson?: ** yea

Ryan tried to finish up after that, but whenever he got close he felt the urge to open Matt’s picture. He rolled over, pulled up his underwear and waited a while until he was finally able to fall asleep. 

\----------------------------

The next morning Ryan was awoken by Lego bounding into his room and jumping onto the bed. He wrestled with the dog for a moment before checking the time. He cursed when he saw that it was past 11:00 AM, and therefore a couple hours past the time he normally fed his fluffy pal. Lego crunched at his food happily as Ryan fixed himself something to eat from the sad contents of his pantry. His roommates weren’t ones for shopping, so the cupboards were mostly bare after his trip. Maybe he would go shopping today, figure out some meals to make over the next week or so. As he ate, Ryan’s phone buzzed softly in the distance. With a mouth full of food he wandered off to find it. Once he had it, his face reddened as his sleep-fogged mind cleared and he remembered promising Matt to come over today. He opened the new message from Matt and breathed harshly out his nose. 

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** hey sorry about last night

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** you dont have to come over if you dont want to 

**From Is That Matt Watson?: ** or we could get something to eat

Ryan laughed at the messages as they came in, their speed made him think that Matt was regretting how needy he was the night before. He turned his attention to the soggy bowl of stale cereal on his table and messaged Matt back. 

**To Is That Matt Watson?: ** food sounds good. Ramen?

It took him about forty minutes to get clean enough to leave the house, pack a bag (just in case he did end up staying over) and get to Matt’s apartment. Matt was already waiting outside when he got there. When he got into the car Ryan lowered the radio and smiled at him. Matt puffed out his cheeks a little and stared out the front of the windshield. 

“So, I take it you missed me Matt?” Ryan asked, a cocky tone to his voice. 

“Dude shut up! I was drunk!” Ryan laughed at Matt’s reply and started to drive towards the restaurant. 

The ramen shop was pretty empty when they got there, most people probably chose it for dinner and not lunch. They were escorted to a small both against the wall and given hot tea when they sat. While waiting to order, Matt accidentally kicked Ryan’s foot under the table. He drew his foot back quickly and whispered an apology. Ryan laughed and asked Matt if he wanted to split an order of dumplings as an appetizer. 

Over their bowls of soup Matt caught Ryan up on what he had been doing with Harrison, Jackson and some of the other people they mutually knew. Apparently the art exhibit that Ryan declined going to was pretty bad; the artist wanted it to be interactive but it was mostly just odd booths with loud sounds. Ryan watched Matt as he excitedly shared his adventures from the past few days, and he couldn’t help but smile. When they were done Ryan asked for the check and gently pressed his foot into Matt’s. 

“I could stay over tonight, if you wanted.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the late upload <3


	17. Kroger's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Things get kinda domestic which is WILD?? Maybe not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! My little jewish butt got dummy busy with Hannukah and the holidays and... I can list 100 excused but I'm sorry this chapter is late! Sometimes my schedule changes and AO3 has to take a backseat :/ I hope you enjoy.   
As always, my name is Enoch and you can find me here or on tumblr @GravenTimes

Matt acted like Ryan had to convince him that a sleepover was a good idea, but Ryan saw the way his eyebrows raised when he gave him the option. He continued to push down the idea, but when Ryan said HE wanted to, any protests died on Matt’s lips in a sputter. When the bill came, Ryan slid his card into the waitress’ hand and shushed Matt as he tried to ask how much his portion was, telling him he could treat him next time. When they got in Ryan’s car it was around 2:30 PM. 

“So,” Matt turned toward Ryan in his seat, “what do you wanna now?”

Ryan stuck out his bottom lip and rubbed at his chin, pretending to think and then shrugging with a chuckle. “I have no idea. Before I made plans with you I was just going to do some grocery shopping, feed Lego, clean or something.” 

“We could do that. I could use some stuff.” 

“Really? Don’t you want to do something fun?”

Matt fiddled with the end of his shirt for a moment before answering. “I’ve been out since we got home, besides, even boring stuff can be fun when I’m with -” he paused for a moment before finishing his sentence “- you’re fun to be around.” 

Ryan turned his face away at that. It was an oddly emotional response to a simple question, or it was possible that he was reading a little too much into it. He started the car and fixed his hair before buckling up. They weighed the options between which grocery stores to head to a small local chain because Ryan liked their bakery section the best. 

* * *

Matt leaned against the car and waited as Ryan dug around in the trunk, looking for his shopping bags and store loyalty card. They loaded the bags into a cart that was left in a nearby parking space and headed into the store. Ryan tried to go quickly, rattling items off an imaginary list that he had in his head as he zigzagged through the produce section. Matt on the other hand, picked up almost every type of apple and commented on his opinions on their tartness and texture. Ryan found it humorous, it was obvious Matt was trying to entertain himself as Ryan stuffed a head of cauliflower into a thin, green bag. 

Matt began to actually shop and grab items as they made their way into the dry goods. He had a few boxes of cereal and lunch-box style snacks in his arms when he made his way back over to the cart. He didn’t cook often, he was more a fan of meal replacement bars and quick meals, saving big plates for when he went out with friends. Ryan restocked his pantry as well, but also grabbed some pasta and rice for when he felt like cooking something more substantial. They got the standard ‘butter, milk, eggs’, and Ryan turned their cart to the pet food section to get something for Lego. 

“Duck ooooooor… venison?”

“Ew, isn’t that like deer?” Matt leaned closer to inspect the bags as Ryan tried to choose between them. 

“You’re saying ‘ew’ to deer? After some of the shit we’ve eaten? Deer’s pretty good.” He slid the bag off the shelf and grunted as he lifted it into the cart. 

“I don’t know, that just seems kind of gross. They’re all out in the forest, fucking around and shit.” 

“Okay? And a cow is all, out in the field, fucking around and shit.” Ryan laughed as Matt scrunched up his face and made a fake gagging sound. 

They had too many items for the self checkout line, so they found the shortest line for a cashier and waited. Matt grabbed a celebrity magazine from the rack of the lane and read out headlines in a voice dripping with fake interest. When they were finally close enough to the conveyor belt they started loading Ryan’s groceries onto the surface. The cashier greeted them softly and began scanning the boxes and weighing the produce. Matt began to complain about how annoying grocery shopping was in general and how long it took. He locked eyes with the cashier and shook his head, commenting, “You’re not going slow, I just mean the whole process is annoying.” She laughed at this and began to bag Ryan’s items. 

Most of the packages fit into Ryan’s trunk, but they put Matt’s bags in the backseat so that they weren’t squished and they could figure out whose was whose. They drove to Ryan’s house but ended up getting stuck in a good amount of traffic on the way there. 

“I just don’t understand how traffic like this happens!” 

Matt laughed and reached into the back of the car, shuffling around in the plastic bags in the back seat. When he was fully seated again he handed Ryan a packet of Gushers and turned up the radio. They talked, and chewed and sang along to the radio to help distract from the traffic of California as they waited to get to Ryan’s apartment. Matt snaked his fingers between Ryan’s that were resting on the center console and finally the traffic broke up. 

As soon as the door was open, Lego bounded up and into Ryan, knocking one of the bags out of his hands. The long haired man laughed and put the rest of the bags down, taking a moment to ruffle the dog’s hair and give him some love. Matt crouched down to join him, scratching at the top of his head. He stayed like that, petting and distracting the energetic dog while Ryan put away his packages and refilled the kibble container. Finally, when he was done and filled up the ceramic food bowl, Matt let go and Lego made a b-line for the food, crashing his front paw into the bowl and spilling half of its contents onto the floor. Ryan cursed and gestured wildly to the spilt food, and Matt laughed wholeheartedly at the situation. 

“It’s like that dumb video you keep watching! With the dog and the bowl!” 

“Yeah but now I gotta clean it up! He’s going to just eat the food in the bowl and leave me with the mess!” 

“But you love that video! And look, he’s cleaning it up himself.”

Lego moved back and forth between the food spilt on the floor and his half-full bowl. Ryan groaned at him and told him how stupid he was, and asked him why on earth he would do this. They cleaned his water bowl out, refilled it and waited for him to eat his fill. Ryan attached a leash to Lego’s collar and told Matt he would be right back and walked the dog out front to use the bathroom. While he was outside, one of his roommates left his room and joined Matt in the kitchen. He gave him a short wave and opened the pantry. Matt watched him as he grabbed one of the newly purchased PopTarts and walked back to his room. 

When Ryan came back in he had a scowl on his face. “What happened?” Matt asked, slight worry in his voice. 

“This dumbass decided to jump on me while I was picking up his shit! I almost fell into it.”

Matt tried to hide his laugh behind his hand as Ryan pet Lego despite his annoyance. He waited for him to finish scolding the dog and cleaning up and waiting for the signal that they were heading out. When Ryan grabbed his keys off the table he walked over to him and asked, “Ready? Don’t want my groceries to spoil.” 

“I don’t think Lucky Charms and meal replacement bars spoil, dude.” Ryan quipped before locking up behind them and getting them back into the car. 

Matt ‘tsked’ at him and clicked his seatbelt into place. “You know whats-his-name took one of your PopTarts?” 

“Hmm, that bastard. It’s fine I’ve been stealing his pasta for weeks now.” 

* * *

There was surprisingly little traffic headed to Matt’s house, which was good because it really seemed to put Ryan in a bad mood. When they got into the entry way of Matt’s apartment, the Tucker brothers were sitting on the couch, individually browsing the internet on their phones. When they saw the grocery bags in Matt and Ryan’s hands, Harrison gave a quiet cheer and Jackson nodded. The four boys helped get the groceries put away and Matt made a comment about ‘eating good’. Jackson responded that most of what he got was the ingredients to macaroni and cheese, and grab and go snacks at a continental breakfast. Matt called him ungrateful and told him he could do the shopping next time. 

“I could whip us up a mean mac’ with this stuff though. You boys hungry?” Harrison asked, gently slapping himself on the chest and wiggling his eyebrows. The other three men shook their heads and he sighed. “Fine then, starve for all I care!” He threw his head back dramatically and let out a low chuckle. 

Matt and Ryan decided to hang out with them for a while, playing a make shift drinking game with Mario Party. They weren’t planning on getting drunk, they had beers instead of any hard liquor or mixed drinks. Jackson eventually got a call from a woman he was seeing telling him that she was ready for whatever activity they had planned, so he got ready to head out. Harrison decided it was a good time to break things up then, and padded off to his room to get some work done or play some game on his computer. 

When they were alone Matt stood and walked off in the direction of his room, and waited for Ryan to follow him. They sat down on the bed and Matt grabbed his laptop, opening and closing different streaming sites and online activities. He clicked his tongue a couple time before closing the laptop and turning to Ryan. “Sorry, I don’t really know what to do, or like anything I could turn on.”

“Yeah, I figured we could just, like, hang out.”

“Oh, uhm, like hang out? Or like -”

“Y’know. Hang out.” 

Matt tried to stop the smile from spreading across his face, but it showed despite his efforts. “I mean, that sounds good, if that’s what you want to do.” 

Truthfully, he had been thinking about it since they got to Japan, and sharing an AirBNB with Ryan didn’t make it easier for him. He fully gave up on holding back his smile when Ryan placed one hand over his own and the other on his jaw, pulling him into a kiss. 


	18. But Where's The Key?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back on it. This chapter was longer so it took a bit. Also I was confused with writing some of it but I think I'm alright with it! Hope you enjoy!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Hope you enjoy. Find me on tumblr @graventimes

They kissed slowly for a while, crossed legged and facing each other. Ryan had a hand holding Matt’s jaw, keeping them both steady as they licked into each other’s mouths. Both of Matt’s hands were gripping into Ryan’s t-shirt at the shoulders, hard enough that Ryan could tell they were there, but soft enough to let him know he was comfortable. Slowly, Ryan snuck a hand up and over Matt’s knee and slid it up his thigh, letting it rest there. Matt laughed softly into his mouth before he pulled away. 

“Sorry, that almost tickled.” Matt apologized through another quiet chuckle and wiped his mouth on the back of one of his hands. 

“It’s fine.” Ryan replied, almost inaudible and moved to press his nose into the side of Matt’s neck, just below his jawline. He kissed the skin there before sliding his lips down to the spot where neck meets shoulder and kissing firmer into the flesh there. “You know, you told Jackson we’re fucking.” 

Ryan regretted the comment as soon as he made it. He felt Matt’s breathe hitch for a moment before he heard him laughing. 

“Well, yeah. We decided we were going to tell them just in case.” 

“But you told them we were FUCKING.” 

“Cause we are?”

Ryan lifted his head and tried to read Matt’s face. He furrowed his eyebrows a little and scrunched his mouth to the side before tilting his head to the side. “We aren’t though.” 

“Oh c’mon Ryan you know what I mean. It’s all the same shit.”

“No! No! It’s different stuff, man. We aren’t  _ fucking _ .” His voice raised in pitch a little at the end of the sentence, some humor behind it. 

“Yes! It’s basically saying the same thing Ryan! I wasn’t going to explain exactly what we’re doing to them in an AirBNB in Japan!” He made an odd face and put on a mocking tone, “By the way guys sometimes I jerk Ryan off while were making out! It was easier to say fucking!” 

Ryan started laughing at how frustrated Matt was getting at this and decided to poke a little further. He was able to force down a laugh in order to get out, “You could have just said hooking up, Matthew.” 

Matt let out an exasperated sound at that, waving his hand in front of him as a string of ‘wha’s and ‘ah’s came out instead of words. He pinched the space just under his eyebrows before sighing. “Sorry I didn’t choose more words more carefully to let them know we haven’t had sex yet, RYAN.” 

Ryan began laughing harder, a high pitched giggle erupted out of him and he fell to lay on the bed next to the other man. It was so easy to get Matt riled up and it was definitely one of the perks of seeing him. He calmed himself down and reanalysed the statement Matt made, particularly the last bit. “Yet?” 

Matt looked down at him from where he was sitting and his eyes went wide. “THAT’S what you’re taking away from this?” 

Ryan resumed laughing as Matt made a comment about getting water. He watched the skinny man get up and walk out of the room and he began to calm himself down. A small smile spread spread over his face. During this entire experience he had been rather passive, extremely willing but passive. He had been the one to start things, holding Matt’s hand and starting anything physically intimate. Matt however really took the wheel when it came to moving things forward and initiating anything sexual. Ryan was shyer in that respect, and in most things social. The prospect of doing more with Matt, and being so close to him was exciting, and gave him more confidence to be more active in their little casual relationship. 

Matt came back in with two bottles of water and sat cross legged on the end of the bed. He tossed one lazily at Ryan, letting it bounce of his stomach and roll along the bed. Ryan sat up and took it, drinking some before scooting closer to Matt. “Sorry. I got you a little worked up there.”

“It’s fine. You just know how to get to me. I’m surprised I’m not immune to it by now.” 

“You do the same thing to me. Probably how we’re able to host a show together.” Ryan pressed a small kiss to Matt’s cheek. “I’m going to go outside for a smoke. You wanna come outside?” 

Matt shook his head and frowned at him. “You really gotta quit that shit man.” 

“I know.” Ryan walked over to his bag and got his cigarettes and lighter before walking off to the small balcony off the kitchen and lighting up. He frowned at the small, rolled up paper between his fingers. He tried to quit dozens of times, but there was something holding him back. Matt tried to get him into vaping for a while but that didn’t come even close to working. The sun was setting in an array of beautiful colors across the street. He smiled and took another drag, coughing as he realized he had just pulled in some smoke from the burning filter of the cigarette. He shook his head, he day dreamed a lot but he didn’t even realize how long he had been distracted; he only took about five pulls from the cigarette and it had burnt down to the bottom. He put it out in a small ashtray the Tuckers probably used and walked back to Matt’s room. 

Matt was lying on the bed, tapping away at the Switch. He crept over slowly and pressed a kiss to his lips. 

“Uh.” Matt pulled away and scrunched his nose. “You taste like smoke. Go brush your teeth or something.” 

* * *

“I don’t get it!” 

“Dude! Calm down!” 

After Ryan brushed his teeth they decided to play a game together. Matt had recently downloaded Baba Is You, but had only played a few levels. It was a simple puzzle game, but as the levels progressed it became more challenging and abstract, and the current one they were on seemed impossible. They were raffling the controller back and forth and helping each other, and Matt was holding the controller during this level. 

“It doesn’t make any sense, if I put that there, it will get rid of the ‘is’ and I die!” 

“Do you want me to Google the answer?” 

“What? No Ryan! That’s so pathetic if I have to search it.” 

“It can’t be that hard, dude.”

“Well it is!”

Ryan laughed as Matt tried again and again to get the answer to the game. After another attempted the ended in the eerie sound of a failed level, Matt tossed the controller into his chest. “You try! Maybe you can do it if it isn’t that hard!” 

Ryan reset the level and began reorganizing the screen to try and solve the puzzle. He failed a few times before getting frustrated. Matt saw the frustration in his face, “See! It isn’t that easy! Fuck you, dude.” He laughed as Ryan puffed out his cheeks at this. 

“Oh suck my dick dude. This level doesn’t make any fucking sense.” 

“I told you!” 

“Wait! Wait wait wait!” Ryan reset the level and got close to the Switch screen, quickly tapping around and moving the animated sheep around the screen. Matt watched, confused and still agitated until he saw what Ryan was doing. Suddenly it clicked, and Matt shook Ryan as he continued to work on the game. When the ‘Congratulations!’ screen finally appeared they both cheered, Ryan tossed the controller forward and jumped up, Matt standing with him and letting out a shout. 

A minute later Matt realized how loud they had gotten and shushed Ryan through his own laughter. They calmed down a little and Ryan grabbed Matt’s face on either side of his jaw and pulled him in for a kiss. Matt immediately leaned into it and kept laughing. Something about the high they were riding from winning such an infuriating level heightened the excitement of the kiss and he pushed back with energy. The kiss got sloppy, Matt opening his mouth and bringing Ryan in closer. Matt kept laughing through it, smiling and feeling jittery. He looked Ryan in the face and his grin widened, “I would, you know, if you wanted to.” 

Ryan’s excitement turned into confusion at Matt’s statement. “Would what?” 

Matt looked out the corner of his eye, confidence waivering just a little at the thought of explaining what he meant. “Uh, what we talked about earlier. Or what you said just now. Even though you were joking.” 

Ryan stared at him for a moment before nodding. “You don’t have to. I wasn’t actually trying to say you should.” 

“I know.” Matt leaned in to kiss him again, drawing him in close by wrapping his arms around his neck. He walked him backwards until his legs were pressed against the edge of the bed. He licked at the line of his lips and gently pushed him down into a sitting position, leaning down as he sat so the kiss didn’t break. Then, he pulled his face away so he could see Ryan’s expression. “Can I?” 

Ryan opened his mouth to answer but the heat and lust of the situation stopped any words from leaving his mouth so he just nodded. Matt smiled and kissed him again before using his legs to spread Ryan’s knees enough for him to stand between. Ryan chewed at his lip as Matt kissed down his neck and sunk down to sit on folded legs below him. 

A quick wave of anxiety flashed through him as it usually did. Did Matt really want to do this or was he just doing what Ryan wanted. Matt smiled up at his and gently rubbed at his thighs, washing away any fear he had. He knew he had to start having a little more confidence and trust since Matt had been so vocal that he was into this entire journey they were on. 

=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE 

Matt tugged at the waistband of Ryan’s shorts but quickly found that it was a little more than difficult to get them down while they were being sat on. He tapped Ryan’s hip to get him to lift up for a moment and pulled down both the black shorts and the cotton boxers Ryan was wearing. Ryan held his breath for a moment as Matt stared at him. He had never really thought of his - or any other - dick as attractive. He exhaled sharply as Matt wrapped a loose fist around it and pumped slowly, standing on his knees a little in front of him. He continued to work him and moved forward to kiss Ryan again, a chaste, soft kiss before sitting back down. 

He stoked him for a while, slowly pumping his shaft and moving to slide his hand past the ridge of his head. Ryan let out soft breathes above him, every few exhales would morph into a soft groan. One of his hands moved to rest on Matt’s shoulder, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into his shirt. “You don’t have to go down on me, if you don’t want to.” 

Matt just looked up at him and then back down at his moving hand before swallowing thickly and moving forward to run his tongue from the base to the tip. Ryan hissed out a curse and closed his eyes, spreading his legs for Matt just a bit more at the sensation. Matt paused for a moment and then repeated the action, this time trailing back down as well. Surprisingly, this had more of an effect on him than it did on Ryan. He face began to get hot and he felt himself begin to harden behind his zipper. He held Ryan’s length from the base and slowly took some of it into his mouth, slowly sliding down until he had about a quarter of it in. 

The feeling was different and odd, but not as shocking or scary as he thought it would be. He pressed the flat of his tongue into what he had in his mouth and pulled back some, then slid back down to the length he felt comfortable taking so far. He snuck a look up at Ryan to find him staring down at him, his face a mix of lust and appreciation. He cheeks were stained red and his lips were drawn into his mouth, probably to mute whatever sounds he was afraid of making. He eyebrows were drawn close together and he was leaning back slightly. Matt hummed a sort of approval, of the feeling of having a dick in his mouth for the first time or the way Ryan looked, he wasn’t sure, and went back to focusing on what he was doing. 

He knew for sure there wasn’t anyway he was going to take too much more into his mouth just yet. He gripped the base of Ryan’s cock and tried to use his tongue to wet as much of it as possible, wanted to make the glide a little easier. Then he began to bob his head, taking in just a little more each time and beginning to suck as he moved. Ryan groaned at this and the hand he had on Matt’s shoulder began to twitch a little. 

“Fuck, Matt.” Ryan groaned out. He slid his hand up Matt’s shoulder to rest on his neck, trying to encourage him to continue. 

Hearing his name drip its way out of Ryan’s mouth only fueled Matt more, the tone of it made his entire body spark. He bobbed his head a few more times and then pulled off, stroking his cock in a tight fist as he took a moment to catch his breath and swallow. “Yeah, is it good?” 

Ryan chucked, “Yeah, yeah it is. You’re actually doing really good.” 

Matt smiled at the praise and leaned back down. He took the head between his lips, sucking and pressing his tongue to the very tip. Ryan moaned out another curse and pressed a little harder into Matt’s shoulder, trying to stop himself from moving his hips up into Matt’s mouth. Matt took more of him in again, this time sliding his lips down a bit further than before, closing the gap between what was held by his fingers and what he was able to take in. He found a slow but steady rhythm. The weight of Ryan’s cock on his tongue didn’t bother him and he actually found it quite enjoyable to feel the ridge and swell of the head move and press into the back of his mouth. He closed his eyes and focused on those feelings instead of the strain in his own jeans. 

“M-matt. Fuck. Listen, it’s been a while, I don’t think I’m going to last much longer.” Matt opened his eyes to look up at Ryan as he spoke. His expression had changed, his eyebrows were raised and his face was completely blissed out. Matt felt a strong wave of heat rush through his lower abdomen at the sight. His hand found its way to the front of his pants and he pressed desperately into it, unable to ignore his own need any longer. He could tell that Ryan was close and this only made him feel hotter and prouder of what he was doing. He hummed soft moan around Ryan’s dick and nodded slightly.

He heard Ryan’s breath get tighter above him and the hand on his shoulder began to tap at him. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, you gotta -fuck- you gotta move.” Matt began to suck a little harder and move a little faster at this, and locked eyes with Ryan. The man above him cursed and groaned again, giving one last attempt at a shove to his shoulder before leaning his head back, “Ah, fuck. Matt, fuck, I’m cumming.” 

The feeling wasn’t at all what he expected. People talked about it being surprising, or gross. He found that he didn’t mind the feeling of Ryan cumming in his mouth at all really, and the flavor didn’t bother him. It wasn’t great, but it also wasn’t off putting. Maybe his mind was clouded from how horny he was. He pulled back from Ryan’s dick and swallowed before standing on his knees and shoving his pants down and rubbing himself through his boxers. 

Ryan grabbed his face and brought him close for a kiss. Matt felt him grimace a little at the taste. Ryan pressed his lips firmer against Matt’s and snuck a hand down to the front of his boxers. Matt let out a low moan when Ryan finally got his hand wrapped around him and began to stroke his length. 

“You were really good.” Ryan whispered to him, moving to rest his forehead on his shoulder and he jerked him off. “Felt so fucking good.”

Matt couldn’t answer, he was far gone at that point. It only took a few more quick movements of Ryan’s hand and Matt’s hips for him to finish. He smashed his lips into Ryan’s again, his tongue quickly finding the other’s. He moaned into the wet space as he came, feeling overwhelmed and like he needed more at the same time. 

He came down slowly and moved to sit next to Ryan on the bed. Ryan had fallen back onto the bed, his legs still bent over the edge. Matt let a goofy grin spread over his face and he threw himself down into the blanket. “Not so bad, right?”

Ryan chuckled, “No. Not bad.” He sat up and made a soft sound of annoyance. “Ah, fucking. Matt. I liked this shirt.” Matt looked up to see a wet smear under the bold yellow text of Ryan’s Eggslut t-shirt, and let out one more laugh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I just want to take a moment to say that we should really all be supporting each other in this community.  
If you aren't a fan of RPF, you shouldn't really bully or send negative comments to people that enjoy it. At the end of the day it's fiction, and people take comfort and refuge in works of fiction. It's a way to express yourself, reflect, and work through things even.  
We all find comfort in different things, and as long as people aren't getting hurt or negatively affected, then why bother with bothering people. You know?  
Also, I'd love you see other people's works on this ship. If you draw or write or dabble in it, link me here or on tumblr @graventimes so I can see what you've made or posted. I want to connect with others.


	19. Paint Me In Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to summarize chapters. 
> 
> Matt and Ryan chill out after what happened, but things tend to keep heating up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter, but I really wanted it to end where it did and I don't like to put filler or that kinda stuff in my writing.   
Follow me on tumblr @graventimes

They spent a few minutes laying next to each other on their backs, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sound of their slowing breaths. Ryan was the first to get up, he took off his shirt and tossed it into the overflowing laundry hamper, trusting Matt to eventually return it to him when it was clean. He turned to Matt and broke the silence, “Do you have that one shirt I borrowed? I only brought one for tomorrow.” 

Matt made a soft groaning noise before rolling himself over and getting out of the bed. He held a finger up to Ryan and walked over to the stand-alone wardrobe against the far wall of the room. Ryan sat on the edge of the bed as Matt went through the drawers and shelves of the wardrobe. The sound of wood slamming into wood with increasing frustration made Ryan think that the shirt wasn’t going to be available. The bed groaned as Matt threw himself onto it and muttered a muffled, “I didn’t wash it.” into the sheets. 

Ryan shrugged and grabbed the Switch and controllers from the desk before laying down into the plushness of the piled up blankets. The sounds of the animated sheep alerted Matt and he turned himself to watch the screen. The older man was holding the Switch above himself, his arms outstretched so he could comfortably see the screen and lay at the same time. Matt scooted around so that he was laid next to Ryan, his head coming to rest just above his shoulder. The room was quiet, except for the sounds of a level resetting or the pixelated character happily dancing around. 

A slight chill ran through the room, making Matt lean closer to the other, seeking out his warmth. He turned his head to rest more solidly on Ryan’s shoulder, and slowly moved a hand up to rest on his chest. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Ryan’s face as it changed from flat to frustrated to excited and back again. As the electronic sounds became fuzzier in the background, Matt slowly ran his fingers up and down Ryan’s chest. He watched as the hair there bent under the weight of his hand and the sprang back up as he moved away. The space between them began to warm a little and he snuggled into it more, transfixed in the way he drew lazy patterns into the olive skin. 

He continued to stroke gently at Ryan’s chest and then turned his head up slightly to look at the faces he was making at the game again. When he peeked up Ryan was looking back down at him, the Switch turned off and laying above his head on the bed. A dark wave spread across Matt’s face at the accidental intimacy of the situation. He went to turn away and find something to do when Ryan covered the hand he had on his chest with his own, stilling him. There was a moment, a slight pause, before Ryan tucked his chin down and moved his head so press a soft kiss to Matt’s mouth. Matt pressed back slowly before feeling Ryan pull back. 

One of the pillows fell off the edge of the bed as Ryan twisted himself onto his side and slightly over Matt. He ran a hand up the side of Matt’s torso and brought it to rest on his cheek before leaning down to press another chaste kiss to his mouth. The tips of Matt’s ears began to glow red at the soft nature of Ryan’s movements, and he moved one of his hands to rest of Ryan’s shoulder blade. With every soft kiss Matt got more worked up, an odd feeling bubbling in his stomach as Ryan’s lips pressed softer and lingered longer. Ryan slowly kissed away from Matt’s mouth, down the line of his jaw and into his neck and then back up again. He kissed around Matt’s face, pressing into every part of it except for his mouth. Matt tried to tilt his head and face to encourage Ryan to give him another real kiss, by the fuzzy mouth never connected with his. 

The whine Matt let out surprised both of them. Matt’s face felt unbearably hot as Ryan searched it and only got hotter as Ryan let out a low grumble of a laugh. Ryan pressed a kiss to the corner of Matt’s mouth before finally giving him what he wanted. He moved to sit up slightly and look at Matt. Ryan let out another more solid, louder laugh that made Matt groan and frown. “What is so funny?” 

“It’s only been like 20 minutes dude.”

“Huh?” It took Matt a few seconds to realize what Ryan was referring to. He was fully erect again, straining against the fabric of his boxers. Quickly, he grabbed the corner of the blanket and threw it over himself. “Whatever! It happens, I’m in my twenties, it’s a good thing.” He was surprised at how worked up he had gotten over a few soft, chaste kisses. 

Ryan giggled and reached over to this bag, pulling out a plain black t-shirt and sliding it on. “You wanna get to sleep? Or do you want me to take care of that first?” 

Matt shook his head and thought it over for a second, hiding his face behind his hands. “I’m fine, we can sleep.” Within a few minutes the bed was rearranged so most of the pillows were piled into the corner and Ryan sunk down into them. He reached out one arm and motions for Matt to join him. The corners of Matt’s lips twitched up into a small smile and he tucked himself back into Ryan’s side. With a hand laid across Ryan’s chest again, Matt thought about how it was weird that he missed the feeling of a tuft of hair under his fingers. 

* * *

Matt woke up when he heard a thud and a curse. He squinted at the brightness of the room and rubbed at his eyes to help them adjust. Ryan was standing at the foot of the bed, packing things away into his bag, fully dressed. 

“Hey, sorry.” 

Matt furrowed his brows together and attempted to stifle a yawn. “What’s going on?” 

“We slept in, like a lot. But I have to feed Lego and shit.” 

Matt frowned at him, “You should have woken me.” 

“You looked… I didn’t want to.” 

Matt yawned and raised his arms into the air, flapping his hands toward himself in a ‘come here’ gesture. Ryan put his bag down and crawled onto the edge of the bed, knee walking to where Matt was curled into the mound of pillows. Matt pulled him down to press their lips together and then rolled himself further into the softness of the bedding. “Next time, wake me up.” 

Ryan chuckled and finished packing his things, letting Matt rest just a bit longer. 

* * *

  
  


Getting things done around the house felt like a chore. Of course Ryan was excited to see his dog, feed him, walk him and cuddle with him for a bit. The cleaning, organizing and other daily tasks felt extra annoying after spending a great night with Matt. As he struggled with the vacuum, Ryan reflected on the previous night. A heat pooled at the base of his spine as he turned on the machine to clean the light dog hair from the rug and other surfaces. Matt was so enthusiastic, so into it and so beautiful as he worked. When they started whatever this situation was, he never thought it would progress so far. Yet, last night he had Matt between his legs, trying so hard to make him feel good. He shook his head, trying to bring his focus back to what he was doing. 

He groaned as he saw the sink full of dishes. For a moment he thought he should leave them, a petty way to get his roommates to help out a little more. Instead, he rolled up his sleeves and turned on the warm water. As he scrubbed he let his mind wander again, this time remembering the way Matt had looked at him as he rubbed at his chest. A different kind of heat spread through him as he let himself relive the kisses and breaths they shared after that. The way he pressed over and over again into Matt’s mouth and the needy whine he let out. Suddenly, his chest felt heavy and he let the sponge fall from his hand into a bowl with a splash. 

“Fuck.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have always wanted to read a scene similar to that one with them. Something so soft and so different for them I think.   
Also, oh Ryan.   
If you like this, wanna chat, or follow me, my tumblr @ is GravenTimes!   
See ya around!


	20. If I'm Being Honest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dodie is an inspiration for this fic, the song at the beginning is what really drove home the emotions for me while I was writing.

“You blew me up like a big balloon far too soon  
Holding my breath makes me choke  
How did I get here?  
It's all so quick, and I feel sick  
I'm used to being a joke  
Could you love this?  
Will this one be right?  
Well, if I'm being honest  
I'm hoping it might  
Could you love this?  
Did you plan to fall?  
Well, if I'm being honest  
Oh, I bet it's not that at all”  
-Dodie Clark (If I’m Being Honest) 

The rest of the day was spent trying to do anything that would take his mind off the nagging feeling sprouting in his chest. He decided to bathe Lego, a task that took almost all of his energy and he should probably do within the next week anyway. Waves of oatmeal soap splashed out from over the edge of the tub as he rubbed it into the long fur of his dog, the pooch trying his best to rub against the surfaces of the tub and Ryan’s front. He grabbed the shower head and clicked it on, keeping it close to Lego’s body so that it didn’t spray and add to the puddle forming around him on the tile floor. When he was satisfied that his pet was thoroughly rinsed, he grabbed a towel and began to pat and ruffle him dry. The light fur was still damp, slightly curled and sticking in every direction. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture. Ryan took a moment to laugh at the image and then clicked the share icon, almost finishing typing in the new, funny name he had Matt saved under, before closing his phone and falling into a sitting position on the floor. Slowly, he ran a hand over Lego’s torso, smoothing the fur out and breathing out a deep sigh. “What is going on buddy?” 

Lego responded with a lick to Ryan’s cheek and then trotted out the door. Ryan closed his eyes and sat for a moment, before hearing the shaking of wet fur and a distant ‘fuck’. All too familiar with the situation, he shouted an apology before getting up and chasing after the dog with the towel. 

They still had a few days before they would need to start recording again. Maybe, during this time he could try to figure out what exactly he was feeling, and how to fix it or stop it. When he finally was done putting away the bath supplies and left the bathroom, his roommate was sitting on the couch flipping through channels. He muttered another apology to him and sat in the empty armchair. His room mate just raised his shoulder at him and went back to browsing the daytime shows he could choose from. “Had a good time with your boyfriend?”

Ryan’s eyes fluttered anxiously at the question. He tried to blink to reset himself, did he hear the man correctly? He furrowed his eyebrows and tried to relax himself, “What?”

“Just wanted to know if you two had a good time. You’ve been spending a lot of time there.” His roommate didn’t turn towards him or make any indications that this was a joke. 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” 

Now his roommate sat up more and turned towards him. “Oh shit. Dude, I’m sorry. I guess it was pretty fucked up of me to assume you guys are gay. You’re just always together and shit.” 

Ryan stood and wiped his hands on his gym shorts, the material felt wet and a little grimy and he grimaced. “Yeah, he’s just one of my best friends.” He shoved his hands into the damp pockets to stop them from shaking at his sides. “I’m going to go take a shower, Lego soaked me through.”

As he walked away his roommate watched him, a clear look of regret on his face from the accusation. When Ryan reached the exit of the living room he paused for a moment and quickly whispered, “I am bi though. Just so you know.” before grabbing clean clothes from his bedroom. 

When he was safely locked in the bathroom he took a moment to just catch his breath and wait. He waited until the shaky feeling in his hands subsided and the vague feeling of shame left him. What he said was true, him and Matt were not dating, they weren’t boyfriends. And, he was probably bi, that was probably true, too. Then why did it feel so odd to say it to his roommate? He pondered on it for a while. All of a sudden he was starting to have odd feelings about what he was doing with Matt. It went from acting on urges and helping each other with their sexual needs, to feeling like something too real, too heavy. 

As he waited for the water to heat up he thought about it more. They HAD been spending a lot of time together, and that was probably the issue he was having. It could get hard separating physical intimacy from romantic feelings, and he was probably confusing the two. Maybe spending time with other people or taking a break from hooking up with his friend would ease the difficulty he was facing. 

* * *

The next day came and went, and Ryan was starting to feel more like himself. Sure, he was a little lonely and didn’t know who to call up to hang out, but he was distracting himself just fine. He finally got around to replaying one of his favorite Donkey Kong games on a refurbished Gamebook Advance he found at a thrift store. At first, when he pulled out the little blue device, it tugged at his heart a little. He had gotten it on a shopping trip with the Tucker brothers and Matt. He was able to quickly move his mind along as the wave of nostalgia washed over him when the 8-bit start up sound rang out. 

He spent most of the day fixing things up around his room, going through his clothes to throw away anything that was too worn or donate anything that just didn’t suit him anymore. By midday he had collected two trash bags worth of clothes and one of general junk he could get rid of. Proud of himself, he clapped his hands together and shook them out before dragging the bags down to the dumpster. The final bag was slung over his shoulder so he could walk it down the block to the collection box in the 7/11 parking lot. His phone vibrated in his pocket, but with the grip he had to keep on the bag and how deep it was resting in his pocket he decided to wait until he got home to check it. 

Two more messages buzzed in his pocket as he walked down the block and the sun began to set. He tossed the bag in the bin and padded over to the entrance to the 7/11. Once inside he finally dug his phone out of his pocket and opened the text notification. He read over them quickly and cursed. 

Arin Hanson [4:46] : Hey just wanted to make sure you’re coming tonight

Arin Hanson [4:55] : I have to put in the reservation so I’m gonna assume you’re coming

Suzy Q [4:57] : Let me know if youre on your way <3

He totally forgot about the plans he had with Arin, Suzy, and a bunch of other people from the Game Grumps office. He sent a quick reply that he was running late (they were supposed to meet at 5:30) but that he would be there and he started to jogged back to the apartment. With a quick change of clothes and a couple taps on a ride sharing app he was on his way. 

* * *

It was 5:45 when the uber pulled up to the restaurant. He thanked the driver and tried to fly into the building as quickly, but quietly as possible. There was a group of 8 people sat at a table set for 10. Some of the editors and previous members of the group sat on one side, with Matt at the end of the row, an empty seat next to him. Arin, Dan and Suzy sat on the other side with a gap between Dan and Suzy. Ryan instinctually went to sit next to Matt, who was beaming at him when he saw that he had finally arrived. Before he sat he felt that now familiar feeling of guilt tug at his heart, and moved to sit next to Suzy and Dan. He greeted everyone hello and apologized for being late, making sure to smile wide at Matt’s questioning look and then engage himself in conversation with the others. 

He had planned to take a break from seeing Matt until they had to record again, but he had completely forgotten that Arin had set up this dinner to make sure that everyone from the office, past and present, kept in touch. Overall, the dinner was nice. It was a lovely japanese restaurant that they would go to for special occasions. Being able to see how many people he actually knew, and got along with was nice and he lost himself in the conversation. In the back of his mind he thought of how most of his social life was thanks to Matt and a few select others forcing him out, and how he wished he had more of an initiative to seek relationships. Matt saw the vague frown that began to ghost over his lips and gave him a quizzical look when he caught his eye. Ryan gave him a short smile and turned back to the vibrant conversation happening to his left as the waiter was flagged down for more drinks and small plates of food. 

By the time they got the check, everyone was plenty full and anyone that drank was pleasantly tipsy. Everyone stood around the table, hugging their goodbyes and making plans to see each other again. Ryan was talking to Suzy about one of her more recent posts on Instagram. He jumped a little when a hand pressed gently into the small of his back and Matt’s voice joined in the conversation. The skinny man stayed there until everyone slowly made their way out of the store front. Ryan opened his phone to look for the best way home and Matt pushed in closer, trying to keep their conversation a little more private. 

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a little bit tonight. Maybe pull up a movie or something.” 

A rolling wave of emotion moved up Ryan’s spine, he was trying so hard to stop himself from saying yes, and leaning his body more into the gentle touch Matt had on his arm. “Uh, I can’t tonight. Promised to help my roommate with something. I’ll see you on Monday, gotta start recording right?” 

He turned and began to walk off to the bus stop, making sure to not take in the disappointed look that had washed over Matt’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Follow me or message me on tumblr @graventimes to chat <3


	21. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they talk about things? Or will Matt have to keep trying to figure out just what is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings!   
Just as a warning, I did the thing in this chapter. I don't want to spoil what "the thing" is so it's at the end notes.   
Chat with me on tumblr @graventimes or on here!

“And I'll miss your laugh your smile

I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me

I'm so sick of fights I hate them

Lets start this again for real

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready

Come on let me hold you touch you feel you

Always

Kiss you taste you all night

Always

Touch you feel you

Always

Kiss you taste you all night

Always”

  * Blink-182 (Always)

When Ryan walked away, he blinked at the spot he once stood at, somehow trying to conjure him back or relive the second again. Quickly he was whisked into another conversation; Ross and his girlfriend pulled him towards them as they planned to grab drinks with Leighton and Vernon. They went to a nice bar, it wasn’t too crowded, plus it had a few things to do which was nice. They settled into a small round booth in the back corner, neon lights on the walls above them illuminating their faces. Ross’ girlfriend suggested that they get a hookah to share, so her and Ross went to the bar to get it and the first round of drinks for the table. Matt sighed heavily, leaning back into the vinyl of the booth seating. Leighton shot him a look, a little concerned by the frown on his face. He started to shake his head at her, dismissing the raised eyebrow, but he was quickly cut off by a sharp, quick kick to his shin. 

Me pursed his lips together and gestured to Vernon who sat quietly next to her, his eyes fixed on the music video playing on a nearby television. Leighton just rolled her eyes at him, and rolled her hands forward, gesturing for him to get on with it. 

“Remember that thing,” Matt began and turned to make sure Vernon wasn’t paying too much attention, “that thing you found out about at the party?” 

It took a few moments for Leighton to figure out what he was referring to, but once she did she nodded. 

Matt waited a moment, licking his lips and rolling his eyes. “Things just got kinda weird.” He watched his friend’s blonde eyebrows grow closer as she thought, trying to figure out how things could have gotten ‘weird’. “He just acted weird. Tonight.” 

Leighton cocked her head back slightly, and gave him another nod. “Have you tried, I don’t know, talking about it?” 

“No! That’s probably part of the problem.” 

Before they could talk about the situation any further Ross and his girlfriend came back to the table. They handed out a round of drinks to everyone and Matt was quickly able to forget about his troubles for a few hours. 

* * *

Monday couldn’t come quick enough for Matt. He didn’t want to talk to Ryan just yet or ask him to meet up. It had been four days since they went for dinner with their friends, now it was another day until they would start recording again. He was able to keep himself, and his mind busy for most of the time they were off, but as he sat on the edge of his bed as Sunday church bells rang in the distance, he had officially run out of distractions. 

The faint smell of cooking oil and meat slowly drifted into his room, pulling him out of his thoughts. Slowly he stretched himself off of his bed, first reaching his arms above him and then pushing his legs out. He walked down the hallway, listening to the sounds of cooking and music get louder as he got closer to the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen he let out a soft chuckle and cleared his throat to announce his presence. Harrison turned around from the stove, spatula in hand and shot him a toothy grin. He was wearing a beige turtleneck and a maroon apron tied neatly over it. 

He spent the rest of the day with Harrison, they talked about their plans for future projects, thoughts on some of the new movies coming out and some of their friends latest works. Talking with Harrison felt easy, and helped him to get out of his fog. He poked his fork into the steak that Harrison had prepared for lunch, shuffling the food around his plate. 

“So,” He broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between them, “can I ask you something?” 

Harrison held a closed fist over his mouth, speeding up his chewing and nodding. 

“This weird thing happened. I don’t know. I might be overthinking it.”

Swallowing the rest of what was in his mouth, Harrison made a soft sound. “What’s going on?” 

“Ugh. I was getting really close with someone. Like, hanging out a lot, really close. And now it feels like they don’t even want to talk to me.” 

There was a moment where Matt felt nervous, afraid he had given too much away. Then Harrison leaned his head to the side and squinted at him. “Have you brought it up with them? What did they say when you talked about it?”

Matt hung his head in response, and Harrison chuckled out a “Maybe you should start there.” 

  
  


* * *

The drive into the office on Monday was nerve-wracking. No radio station, podcast or audiobook could calm down Matt’s nerves as he geared himself up for a tense day of recording. It was always difficult to get back into the swing of things after a break, and now that there was this new tension between him and Ryan he was sure it would be much more difficult. Hopefully, he was overthinking things. Sometimes he had a tendency to let his mind wander and darken a situation. Maybe things would just be back to normal when they recorded. 

The office was empty when he entered. There was no sign of Ryan, and he knew Harrison was coming in later since he didn’t drive in with him. There was a little bit of dust on the counters and equipment from disuse and the recent set up, so he decided to start cleaning as he waited. He put on a playlist in the background and started to wipe down the kitchen’s surfaces before moving on to their office desks. As he began to spray Ryan’s desk he saw a hair tie laying next to the mouse pad. Not wanting it to get wet he slipped it onto his wrist. 

Most of the office was dust free when the front door to the office finally opened again. From the room he was in Matt could see Ryan as he entered, looking a little disheveled, and tossed his bag and keys onto his computer chair. Matt swallowed, pushing down any negative thoughts he had about what happened the other night. He tapped against the door frame to the room Ryan was in gently, alerting him to his presence.

“Hey.” 

“Oh, hey man. Sorry I know we were supposed to get here earlier.”

“It’s fine. Long night?”

“No,” Ryan picked at the hem of his shirt, “couldn’t sleep.” He watched Matt as he put the cleaning supplies back into the cupboard. “I thought we could start recording a series or something, start strong?” 

Matt smiled big at him, maybe things were still fine. “Yeah, what game were you thinking?” 

It took some time to get the recording equipment running. They recently changed sound recording programs and it took a little bit more effort to get everything working together. Matt nestled into the arm of the couch, watching as Ryan put in the game and made sure the controllers were charged. The couch shifted a little as Ryan plopped down onto it. They were able to get into the swing of things rather quickly, finding a way to play the game more interestingly and falling into a rhythm of jokes and banter. Feeling more comfortable now, Matt peeled himself away from the edge of the couch and let himself get a little closer to Ryan. Ryan continued to play and talk, stretching just a bit and settling against his own side of the couch. Matt frowned a little and searched Ryan’s face, there wasn’t even a hint of anger or annoyance so he shrugged off any worry. 

By the end of the day, they had recorded five episodes for a series and were almost done with a second one-off. Matt was starting to get a little tired, the first day back after a break was always a little exhausting. Hiding a yawn behind his hand, Matt pressed back into the couch and tapped Ryan’s hand. Ryan brought the hand back to the gaming controller and looked at Matt from the corner of his eye. Matt tried to cut off another yawn and Ryan laughed, nodding that he would end the episode. After a quick, funny sign off the game was saved and turned off. Proud of how much they had gotten done in one day, Matt smiled and leaned his head onto Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan tensed slightly and moved away. Matt scowled and stood up from the couch. 

“Dude, what the fuck?”

Ryan’s eyes opened a little at him, “What?!” 

“You moved away.” 

“I was warm! I didn’t want to get all sweaty.” 

Matt’s face grew a little angrier. “No. You’re being weird. Like really weird. First at that sushi place and now I can’t even touch you.” 

“What, because I - because I didn’t sit next to you?” 

Matt rubbed his hands up and down his face, pushing his hair back and groaning. “Yes but like, you would hardly even talk to me. And now you’re acting like it’s gross to be near me!” 

Ryan sighed and closed his eyes. “It’s nothing. You’re fine.” 

“What do you mean it’s nothing? It’s obviously something.”

“It’s nothing Matt. Leave it alone.” 

Matt sat back down on the couch, facing Ryan and giving him his space. “Leave what alone? We don’t fight like this, we talk. This isn’t like you. It’s not like us.” 

Ryan frowned at him and turned away. “I want to touch you.” 

Matt shook his head. “What? Okay? Yeah we do that sometimes.” 

“No, Matt. Like I want to hold you, and kiss you and it’s getting to be too much. I want to hold your hand and touch your hair and shit. And I think about it too much.” He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, refusing to look up at Matt. “I think about it too fucking much.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The thing" is when someone says the title. It was actually NOT planned to be in this part, the fic originally had an extremely different direction.


	22. Right, Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's best to just talk things out, sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I both love and hate angst.  
My tumblr is @graventimes  
Hit me up!

A shiver ran up Matt’s spine and he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth to chew at it. Slowly, he walked a little closer to Ryan and pressed a hand to the top of his head. “Okay.” 

Ryan’s face scrunched up in response, “Okay?” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

“I don’t,” Ryan leaned forward further, folding himself over his knees and away from Matt’s hand, “I don’t think you’re understanding.” 

“I do.” He sat back down on the couch, turned towards Ryan. He reached up and put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m okay with it. Uh, I’ve kinda been wondering about it. Listen, it’s okay.” 

Finally Ryan sat up, pressing into couch with a deep exhale, still covering his face with his hands. When he took his hands away from his eyes, he saw Matt looking at him with a soft expression. Matt’s actions and behaviors never seemed to change throughout this entire experience, so he never thought to see what he was thinking. “What do you mean?”

“What?”

“What do you mean you’ve been wondering?” 

“Ah, um,” Matt took a minute to adjust himself, bringing his leg on to the couch and under him, “you know, wondering like, if anything had changed since this started. I guess.” 

“Has it, for you too?” 

Matt opened and closed his mouth and felt a heat beginning to spread across his face. “A little.” 

Brown eyes searched his face, expecting more. 

“Yeah, a little. I think about it a lot, too. And it’s a little more ah- uh- … intense? Different. But it seems it changed in the same way, for us, right?” He watched Ryan, waiting for some sort of response. 

“Oh. I think so.” Ryan gave a soft nod, “So, what do we do now?” 

Another silent moment passed where they sat, thought, and waited for the other to speak first. Matt sniffed and then answered, “I think we just keep doing what we were doing. What did we say? Keep doing what feels right?”

Ryan laughed, a little low and worn out. “Something like that.” He tried to stop a yawn, closing his eyes and swallowing it down. 

“Are you tired? We recorded a lot today. We could go home, go to sleep early.” 

They cleaned up, making sure everything was packed away and unplugged. The equipment was put away and all the devices were shut down. Once their bags were packed, they met each other at the front door. A slight air of tension passed between them but was quickly whisked away when Matt stepped closer to Ryan, pressed a hand to kiss chest and a soft kiss to his cheek. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Ryan couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” 

* * *

The sun was pushing through the drawn curtains when Matt woke up. He stretched and slowly slid the blankets off. The events of yesterday slowly swirled back into his head, making him shiver. A smile spread over his face as he thought about how it ended, he had been nervous for so long and now he felt like they were in a good place again. Previously, Matt hadn’t thought about the emotions involved in this situation. Now, they were all he could think about. 

A full, warm feeling spread throughout his body as he thought about what Ryan had said. He knew Ryan must think about it sometimes, probably thinking about them hooking up, but he had said he thought about them just touching, or kissing, all the time. Sure, it was something he thought about a lot, too, but he had chalked it up to their proximity and closeness. Once they talked about it, the realization had hit him about just how close they had gotten. His smile got wider and goofier and he grabbed his clothes to get ready for the day.

After his shower and breakfast, Matt’s phone rang from where it was charging in his room. His lips began to curl up at the edges again, but he calmed himself down before answering the call. 

“Hey, Ry. What’s up?” 

“Morning. I was wondering if you were driving in today or if you wanted me to grab you?”

Now, Matt couldn’t stop the rise of his lips, “I hadn’t figured it out. I wouldn’t mind a ride.” 

“Okay, I’ll be there in about 15. See ya.” 

It had been a while since Matt felt this excited about seeing someone, and he was a little embarrassed at just how giddy he was. That being said, Ryan knew just how nerdy and goofy he could be, and seemed to enjoy it on top of that. He packed his bag, making sure he had his water bottle, wallet, keys and other necessities and waited by the door for Ryan’s message. 

When he got in the car, Ryan was playing music low and waiting for him. He kept his composure and sat quickly, buckling up and putting his bag down by his feet. “Hey!” 

“Hey, you eat?”

“Mhm, I had a little something. You?” 

“Yeah, I’m good.” 

Ryan turned the music up slightly and put the car into drive. Matt took out his phone and opened their shared calendar to see what they would be doing for the day. They had a meeting with Jackson, Don and Justin (Don and Justin would video in) to discuss how they were going to split up the work for the upcoming month. After that, they had four slots to record, there was a suggestion that they do one offs, but Matt had another idea. 

“We have a phone conference today for the thumbnails, editing and shit. After that I know you were excited to continue the Spongebob series. You mentioned it last week. Want to record some of those?” 

Ryan laughed and slowed down at a red light. “God that game sucks, it’s fucking hilarious. We can do that, sure.” 

Matt clicked the pencil icon to edit the calendar and mark the slots as series slots. They could record one offs tomorrow. He hummed along to the music for the rest of the car ride and checked on their channel’s analytics. They chatted idly about the days to come, the future of the channel and some of the recurring jokes they could bring back up in future episodes. 

When they pulled up to the office there was a car parked out front. Matt peaked in the window and Brent was sitting in the driver’s seat. Matt began to laugh wildly, pointing at the car and its unsuspecting passenger. Ryan joined him in staring at the man and waiting for him to notice. It took a few seconds but Brent looked up from his phone and turned to his right, jumping when he saw the horrible faces Matt and Ryan were making. The two boys waited for their old manager to get out of the car and lock it, welcoming him and giving him a pat on the back. 

“Hey fellas, I’m here to check out the office and sit in on that meeting you told me about. Sorry I’m a little early.” Matt scrunched up his face as Brent spoke, he completely forgot that they had invited him to see the office. Ryan looked a little less surprised, and shrugged it off. They showed the man into their office and began showing him around. 

The office was mostly set up, a few boxes here and there and a few rooms left undercoated. Doors were opened and closed and objects were looked over as Brent made his way through the rooms. The kitchen was particularly interesting to him, he made a few comments on the filming possibilities and told them how much he liked the layout. Then, they waited for the meeting, making Brent and themselves a cup of coffee. As they sat around the table with Matt’s phone in the center, everything felt good. The air was calm and Ryan let Matt sit close to him, their knees knocking together every once in a while as Brent updated them on the plans for the new Grump office. A low-fi beat rang out and Matt’s phone vibrated on the surface, and the conference call began. Jackson arrived a few minutes late, apologizing quickly and sitting in one of the vacant chairs. 

After the meeting Brent bid them goodbye and left. Jackson scurried away to his desk to get to work. Matt grabbed another mug and walked off to the recording room, Ryan close by between them. The equipment was already set up, Ryan had distracted himself with it as Matt shared excited stories with Brent in the kitchen. They joined each other on the couch and began to make jokes as they loaded the game, trying to get into the right mood to record. Matt told Ryan a ridiculous story from his childhood, one about the friends he used to record awful video with. When they were pleasantly jovial Matt signaled Justin that they were ready and began. 

“Alright!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love y'all! 
> 
> This fic is getting close to done. It isn't done, but I don't think it will make it past chapter 30. I wouldn't want to keep it going without direction. 
> 
> I will keep writing other fics for Ryatt or Supermega, so don't think I'm disappearing on ya!


	23. Dirty Dishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension rise *waggles eyebrows*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a feeling and it's time to let it go -  
Let it goooOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOH! 
> 
> @graventimes on tumblr boo

  
Recording was easy again, it felt good again. The jokes flowed naturally between the two Let’s Players and the air was warm, welcoming and humorous. They ended up playing a few episodes of the Spongebob game, swapping between who played and who lead the conversation. Matt tested the waters, wanting things to go fully back to how they were, and leaned gently against Ryan as the larger man tapped away at the controller. Ryan’s gazed flicked quickly from the screen to his friend’s face and he let a gentle smile pull into his face. Matt brightened at that, a clear symbol that things were headed in the right direction. 

As Ryan shared a story, going on one of the tangents he is known to do from time to time, Matt took a moment to think. The conversation they had the day before was not completely unexpected, but was still something he didn’t think they would address so soon, or so directly. He felt the beginning of what could be feelings forming before they even went to Japan, but pushed them down and labeled them as unimportant. Then, when they got stronger, he did as Ryan had and chalked it up to their proximity and actions. Only in his case, it was a lot easier to accept and deal with them. He was a little surprised Ryan had such a hard time figuring them out and digesting them, but reflecting back on the stories he told about growing up he knew that it was probably due to that. Matt scowled at the memory of Ryan explaining his upbringing and the reactions many people had to different classmates or others coming out. Now that they had cleared the air somewhat, Matt felt the heat in his chest and face burn brighter whenever they were together. It was hard for him to stop the way his eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled. It was even harder to ignore the bubbly feeling he got in his gut as Ryan gently brushed a hand across his thigh. 

“Right Matt?”

Matt shook his head, completely unsure of what Ryan was talking about. “Uh- yeah!” 

“You know what they say about that! Haha, once a runner always a runner.” 

He had absolutely no idea what Ryan was talking about, but he laughed hard, as if the joke had landed. Finding a way to end the episode quickly became Matt’s priority, he had completely lost track of what they were doing. They signed off and Ryan saved and quit the game, making sure to write down what the time read when they were fully done. “You totally zoned out there.” 

“Yeah, sorry there’s only so much Sandy Cheeks a guy can take.” 

Ryan let a laugh rumble deep in his chest and turned towards the skinnier man. “We got at least 5 episodes out of that. I think it’s safe to call it for the day if you want.” 

The reply was just a gentle nod of a head. Ryan leaned back into the couch and tugged gently at Matt’s shoulder, pulling him toward him so he could lean more solidly into his side. They closed their eyes and waited for a few minutes, just relaxing and letting time slip by. Eventually Ryan’s stomach grumbled, causing them both to chuckle and sit up. 

“So, uh, do you want to grab food and come hang at my place? It’s been a little bit, and it’s messy but you’re more than welcome.” Matt offered to Ryan with a shrug. 

Ryan nodded and they were off. 

* * *

Japanese food was one of Matt’s favorites, not only because he loved the country, but also because it was one of the cuisines that didn’t mess with his stomach. They picked at what was left on the shared plate they got, a few pieces of sushi and sashimi left that they couldn’t seem to finish, when the waiter came and dropped the checkbook off at their table. Ryan reached it first and shook his head when Matt tried to snatch it. He slid his card into it and pushed it to the end of the table, swatting at Matt’s reaching hand. 

“I need to know how much it is so I can pay!” 

Ryan ‘tsked’ at him, “I got it, chill.” 

“No! Tell me how much I owe.” Matt pouted in his direction.

“Matt, I’m paying this time.” 

Matt furrowed his eyebrows together, “Why?” 

Ryan pulled his lips to the side, and shrugged. He smiled at the waiter as he passed and handed him the little black book and his card. “I don’t know. I want to.” Matt tried one more time to peak at the total as Ryan signed the receipt, but he was blocked by Ryan’s hand. He huffed a little sound at Ryan and began to shuffle to the car. 

As Ryan drove off, Matt watched his face. He always knew Ryan was attractive, generally speaking. His eyes traced his profile, down his forehead, over his nose and down to his lips. He turned his head to look out the window as his face heated and he knew he was blushing. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and crossed his legs, and tried to ignore the way even just looking at Ryan affected him. 

“You alright?” Matt jumped when a hand grabbed his knee. Ryan was still looking out the window, but his vision darted over to the other side of the car for a quick second. Matt hummed a ‘mhm’ and straightened himself out as Ryan pulled up to his apartment. 

Jackson was already home, sitting on the couch eating from a take out container. He had left the office about an hour or two before they had. He gave them a short wave and turned back to the television, muttering out, “Hey fellas.” Ryan gave a short reply and took in the doorway, taking off his shoes. Matt walked past him, looked into their kitchen and groaned before jogging into the living room. 

“Dude, is Harrison home? There are so many dishes in the sink!” 

Jackson covered his mouth as he forced himself to swallow down a large bite of noodles. “Huh?”

“It’s his turn to do the dishes. He had all his weird sauces just sitting there in pots!” 

“Uh, I dunno. He isn’t here I’ll text him if ya’ want?” 

Matt grumbled and pushed his hands into his pockets. “Nah, it’s fine I’ll just do ‘em later.” 

Ryan followed behind the disgruntled man as he trudged off to his room. When the door was closed behind them, Matt let himself fall onto his bed, face first. The mattress leaned as Ryan sat on the edge of it, rolling Matt over slightly. He pressed a hand gently between his shoulder blades, feeling the softness of his shirt and the tenseness of his back. He grimaced at how he could feel Matt’s muscles twitch beneath the fabric and pressed in a little harder. Slowly he began to push and pull his fingers, rubbing a slow circle into the tense flesh. Matt let out a little groan and he immediately snapped his hand back. 

“Fuck, sorry!” 

“No,” Matt lulled his head to the side to look at Ryan, “it actually felt pretty good. I wouldn’t mind if you kept going.” 

“I could.” Ryan replied and situated himself more solidly on the bed. He kept most of his weight on his knees and began to press back into the same spot on Matt’s back, now with both hands. He had given some half-assed back rubs before to a few girls, but now he tried to put genuine effort into it. Pressure began to gradually build as his confidence did, and the tension between Matt’s shoulder blades began to slip away. The lower section of his back seemed even more tense. “You been stressed lately?” 

Matt nodded as best he could into the blanket. He muttered something unintelligible about Harrison’s latest cooking phase, then went limp on the bed. Ryan chuckled and began to use his thumbs to knead little circles into the particularly tense spots in his lower back. Another groan, muffled and deep, pushed its way out of Matt. Ryan’s ears turned pink at the sound, but he shook his head and focused on what he was doing. He moved down slightly, working just above the slope of Matt’s behind, finding a knot that seemed a little more alarming than the rest. 

As Ryan worked on it, Matt slipped his head to the side again, freeing up his face. Ryan glanced at it quickly and snapped his eyes back down to his hands when the blissed out expression on the other’s face began to do things in his mind. Ryan’s thumb smoothed over the knot roughly and Matt let another sound slip from his lips - this one sounding much more like a moan - and followed it up with a whispered curse. Ryan sat up straight, clapped his hands together twice and smoothed down Matt’s shirt. 

“Alright! I think I got it.” 

Matt slowly sat up and pouted, “Aw, I was really enjoying that.” He turned to look at Ryan and a grin grew on his face. 

Ryan sat and scooted to turn away from Matt slightly. “What?” 

Matt began to laugh and got closer to Ryan, “Look at me.” He inspected the other’s face and gave him a toothy grin. “No way. Dude did you get turned on from rubbing my back?” 

“What?” Ryan guffawed at him, “What, no way man, that’s fucking ridiculous!” He made himself laugh, trying to diffuse the situation. 

“Yes! Yes you did! Look at you! Your face is bright red and you have a chub!” 

Ryan crossed his arms scowled, “Dude, shut up.” 

Matt calmed his smile down and moved closer to Ryan, resting his chin on his shoulder. Ryan kept the frown on his face but looked at Matt through the corner of eyes. Blue eyes stayed trained on him and he grimaced. “You know,” Matt began, “you ARE really good with your hands.” 

Ryan’s frown cracked, he tried to stop the laugh that spilled out but failed. “Dude.”

Matt laughed with him and pressed the rest of his body into Ryan’s side. “I’m serious.” 

Ryan kept laughing, even as the blush on his face grew deeper. Gentle, chaste kisses began to be peppered onto his cheek. Matt kept kissing until Ryan fully untensed and dropped his crossed arms. That slightly crooked smile that Ryan had become so fond of graced Matt’s face again and he asked, “Can I kiss you?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would y'all want a playlist of what I listen to when I write or what inspires this Ryatt fic?


	24. Tell Me About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan get's a little more confident. Matt isn't complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just 2,500 word of pure filth. Have fun!

_ ***************** I’m just going to go ahead and say this - the whole chapter is basically NSFW sooooo I’m not going to label any particular part ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ *************** (If you want to read the story BUT NOT the nsfw, read the first paragraph and the last line.)** _

  
The bearded man thought for a moment and then nodded. When Matt’s lips met his it was like every urge he had repressed the previous week came back. Ryan couldn’t stop himself from reaching up and taking Matt’s face into his hands. The kiss started with just a press, sweet and soft, but Ryan could feel the wave of want washing over the two of them. They broke apart, warm breaths mingled as they stared at each other’s faces for a moment. Matt crawled away from Ryan, moving to sit further on the bed. A gesture was made, beckoning Ryan closer to him, and the man happily complied. 

Ryan pressed their noses together and then slid his face closer so he could fit their mouths together again. Happy and comfortable, his confidence began to swell. Matt made a soft noise when a warm, wet tongue began to lick at the line of his lips. Their mouths slotted together easily and they found their rhythm again, pressing their tongues together and then separating them to explore each other’s mouths. Ryan swiped his tongue just behind Matt’s teeth and revelled in the sound it produced, swallowing it down and letting his own gentle noise fall out. 

Matt was gently pushed backwards onto the bed as Ryan pressed him forward. A wet smack filled the room when Matt pulled back to kiss down Ryan’s jaw. Two big hands slid up from Matt’s knees to his waist, and Ryan worked his way in between his legs. Matt continued to drag his lips down Ryan’s neck, sucking on the skin gently as me moved. A pillow fell off the side of the bed as Matt kicked a leg out to let Ryan get closer to him, their hips meeting together. Ryan hung his head a little as the head of Matt’s cock rubbed against his clothed shaft. Curiously, he slid a hand from Matt’s hips to his side, letting it push up and bunch Matt’s shirt just under his chest. A warm breath hitched against his ear, encouraging him to continue. The fabric was pushed up further and Ryan crept a hand up and up, moving it further until it came to rest over Matt’s soft pec. 

“Oh,” Matt let out a breathy laugh, “fuck Ry.”

Ryan smiled at him, watching the way Matt stared at his fingers as they tested the give of the flesh there. Matt was skinny, all angles and dips of skin and flesh, and being next to him - or over him - made Ryan feel all that much bigger - and stronger. Even though the other man was thin, he was still soft and Ryan mused at this as he continued to massage the flesh under his hand and slowly move his hips against him. With a roll of his hips, Ryan made Matt press his head back into the pillow. The muscles in his neck were strained and Ryan thought about what it would be like to kiss them as he moved his fingers to softly toy with Matt’s nipple. A shuddering breath was sucked in and Matt’s chest rose to press harder into Ryan’s hand. 

“Fuck that’s weird.” 

“Weird bad” Ryan asked, using his thumb to move the nub of the nipple up, “or weird good.” 

Matt’s eyes were again trained on his fingers. “Weird good, but really weird. I never thought I’d like that.” 

Ryan let out a low chuckle, “I never thought I’d like THIS.” He punctuated his point with another roll of his hips. 

There was supposed to be a laugh, and Matt let out the beginnings of one, but it quickly turned into a hushed whimper. All the blood rushed into Ryan’s face and groin as Matt’s eyes fluttered shut and he furrowed his brow. Impatient as usual, a thin hand grabbed at the larger one still on his waist and dragged it over to the button of his pants. Without missing a beat, Ryan muttered something about taking his time, but popped the button to Matt’s pants nonetheless. One last kiss was pressed to Matt’s mouth before Ryan moved away to slide the stiff fabric off his legs, and then tug his own sweatpants off. Matt sat up as Ryan was pulling his foot out from the leg of his pants, and pushed him back so he was sitting. 

Ryan fell back onto his behind, his foot still trapped in the ankle of his sweatpants, when the other man crawled over to him. He felt the edge of Matt’s glasses press into his cheek as he pressed his nose into his neck and took in a deep breath. 

“Let me go down on you again?” 

Ryan swallowed, trying to think of a reply, “You- you don’t have to.” 

Matt sat back on his heels, wobbling a little as he tried to balance himself on the uneven surface. “No, I wanna. If you want me to.” 

“Oh.” Matt had already done it once, so it wasn’t something new, but another thought buzzed in the back of Ryan’s head. 

“What’s wrong? Don’t shut down on me again.” Matt rubbed gingerly at his knee, a vague look of concern beginning to spread across his face. 

“I just,” Ryan kicked the sweatpants fully off his ankle and stared at his foot, “I don’t know if I’m ready to reciprocate. That.” 

Matt chuckled and pressed his fingers more firmly into Ryan’s knee, “That’s fine. I want to do this for you, man.” He slid off the edge of the bed and made himself comfortable on the floor, folded his legs underneath himself. The hair on Ryan’s thigh stood up when Matt pressed a chaste kiss to it. “Besides, I really like it. Can I?” 

Ryan nodded and slid his body to hang both legs off the edge of the mattress. Matt nestled himself between his knees and ran both hands along his inner thighs. Light eyes gazed up at dark as he brought his face closer to his crotch, moving slowly until Ryan’s hard on was resting firmly against his cheek. Ryan cursed and looked away, the sight making his cock jump a little. An open mouth kiss was pressed to the underside of his shaft and a vague wetness darkened his boxers. Matt continued to mouth at him through the fabric until Ryan brought a hand to his shoulder, squeezing at him. The dark grey underwear slid off easily, and Matt was brought face to face with Ryan’s nude lower half. His own dick came more to life as he anticipated what was going to happen next. Matt wrapped a loose fist around it and watched as Ryan fixed his gaze on his hand, eyes bouncing as he stroked him leisurely. 

He continued at a slow pace, hardly applying any pressure to the flesh in his hand. The grip on his shoulder got a little tighter and Ryan let out a soft whine, shifting his hips up into his hand. Matt smiled and brought his face closer, opening his mouth and allowing the head of Ryan’s cock to swipe against the flat of his tongue. Ryan whispered a ‘shit’ and bit the back of his free hand, teeth digging in a little too harshly when Matt closed his mouth around his head. He began to suck gently, pressing his tongue against the smooth skin and savoring the salty arousal he was rewarded with. Thick eyelashes pressed into Matt’s cheeks, he closed his eyes and took a practiced breath out of his nose. It took him a few moments to slide his lips down towards the base of Ryan’s dick, making sure to swallow as he went down. He still couldn’t quite fit the whole thing before his reflexes told him to stop, but he was proud of how much he took this time. The hand on his shoulder slid up to rest behind his head, timidly resting there and applying no pressure. 

When Matt opened his eyes and peered up, Ryan’s face was more encouraging than anything else had been so far. His lip was half drawn into his mouth and his face was painted a deep red. Matt hummed his approval and began to slowly pull back, and dive back in. Ryan let the moan that formed come out, unmuffled and beautiful. A faster, but still comfortable pace was reached and Matt tried his best to continue creating suction as he moved his head. Unable to ignore his own need anymore, Matt slid his own erection out through the flap in his boxers. His eyes fluttered when the tepid air of the room wrapped around him, and he tried to stroke himself in time with his bobbing. 

Something about his movements must have given him away because Ryan sputtered at him, “Fuck, are you- are you touching yourself?” Not wanting to stop what he was doing, Matt hummed his reply around the mouthful of skin and kept moving, the vibrations rolling up Ryan’s spine. “Shit that’s fuckin’ hot. Fuck, Matt.” 

The air was thick and heady, Matt’s senses began to dull around the edges and he surprised himself when his nose pressed into Ryan’s belly. He paused, letting the feeling of the tip of Ryan’s length pressing into his throat dawn on him. Curiously he pressed a little further, burying his nose into Ryan’s soft stomach and rolling his eyes as the head slid firmly into the tight muscle. Somewhere in the distance he could feel Ryan’s hand squeezing at the back of his head, but he closed his eyes and kept still, more than enjoying the feeling. When he pulled back and looked up Ryan had his other hand in his own hair, the long strands in the front pulled from the elastic. He pulled back and continued to rock his head back and forth, drawing a whispered “what the fuck” from his partner. 

A bright heat began to coil in his stomach as he sucked Ryan off and fisted his own arousal. Ryan was lasting much longer this time - not that HE was really complaining - but his jaw began to complain at the stretch. Slightly defeated Matt pulled off of Ryan’s dick and rested his head on his thigh. He kept stroking the both of them, focusing on jacking Ryan faster than himself. Ryan laughed at the blissed out expression on his face and moved the hand from behind his head to his cheek. “You really do like it, don’t you.” 

Matt nodded, a little sheepish despite what was currently happening. “Yeah,” his voice came out a little coarser than he was expecting, “ I do. And I think about it a lot.” 

There was an enticing lilt to Matt’s voice when he was like this, and Ryan always had a thing for sounds and talking so he decided to press further. “Yeah? You do? Tell me about it Matt.” 

The younger man pressed his face into Ryan’s hand, rubbing his cheek against it. “The first time was after that - the first time we hooked up. When you let me sit on your lap.” 

“When you made me cum?” 

The stroking on both their cocks paused for a second and Matt squeezed them, he looked up at Ryan with blown out eyes. “Yeah. Right after, that night I thought about it. I thought about other ways I could get you off.” The pace quickened again and Matt’s voice caught in his throat. “Sometimes I think about it at night, when I need to get off.” 

Ryan pictured it, Matt alone in his room jerking off, conjuring up different ways he could touch Ryan. He remembered the messages Matt had sent him, something about his hands. “You think about me when you touch yourself?” A quick nod and a gasp, “Like you’re doing right now?” 

“Fuck Ryan, I’m so close.” 

Ryan brushed the pad of his thumb across Matt’s lip and pulled it down, opening his mouth slightly. “Keep going. Tell me what else you think about.” 

“Ryan-” 

“C’mon, what do you think about when you’re touching yourself?” Ryan moved, making the hand Matt still had wrapped around him slide off, Matt could focus on himself for a while. 

Matt screwed his eyes shut, quickening the pace between his legs and moaning out. “I just think about you Ry, you know how I am, I just want to touch you. Or have you touch me. My chest, my dick, my ass.” 

“You want me to touch your ass?” Something stirred in Ryan’s mind, something more primal and in his lust hazed state he followed it. “Do you finger yourself when you think of me?” 

“Fuck!” Matt’s face slipped from Ryan’s hand into his thigh as he bent forward, his orgasm ripping through him. Thick ropes hit against Ryan’s leg and the bed sheet, and Ryan swooned. Shudder after shudder ran down Matt’s spine and his fingers twitched around his shaft. Still hard and even more turned on, Ryan began to stroke at himself as he watched Matt come down with ragged breaths. 

When Matt was composed enough to fully take in the situation he swatted the other’s hand away and replaced it with his mouth, suckling at it. Still tingling from his release he sucked at the hard length of Ryan and rubbed languid circles into his thighs. The thick muscles beneath his fingers began to twitch quickly and Ryan tapped at his shoulder. 

“I’m getting close Matt.” Matt nodded as best he could with a dick in his mouth and tried to increase the speed at which he was moving. “No, Matt like - fuck- really close.” 

Instead of moving back, Matt gripped into his legs and took him deeper into his throat again, swallowing and bobbing. Long hair was tossed as Ryan shook his head, licks of fire lapping at him as Matt’s eager attitude continued to stroke his ego. He leaned his head back and groaned, unable to hold it off any longer, and came. He felt all the heat rush out of his body and into Matt, who continued to suck and move greedily along his length. Every pulse of Matt’s muscles contracting as he swallowed around Ryan squeezed at the head of his cock, drawing filthy sounds from his mouth as his orgasm began to fade. 

Matt stood up suddenly and loomed over Ryan, draping his hands across his shoulders and pressing his body into his front. Ryan pulled him down into a sloppy kiss, tasting himself on the other’s mouth. Matt whined, his spent dick rubbing too harshly against Ryan’s black t-shirt. Time ticked by, Ryan’s broad hands holding Matt’s hips and Matt’s long arms hanging limply on either side of Ryan’s neck. The larger man smiled sweetly, both their eyes were lidded heavily, a little tired. 

“I didn’t say this the other day. I want to say it.” Ryan began. Matt gave him a lazy, quizzical look. “I like you. I really like you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wild. Idk if I have very written a smut scene so long. @graventimes on tumblr if you want to follow!


	25. Say It Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly fluffy filler. but i love it none the less!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long gap, COVID 19 got my whole life turned upside and made my neighborhood Mad Max Fury Road. How are you all coping? I hope that we all get through this strong and together!!!

“You like me?”

“I mean, yeah. Was that… is that not okay?” 

“No! No! It is, it’s just. Nice to hear you say it. Say it again?” 

Ryan pressed his face into Matt’s middle, trying to even out his breath and calm his body down. The elastic band was tugged from Ryan’s hair, and the rest of the brown curtain fell down the back of his neck. Matt pressed several soft kisses to his forehead, tracing his hairline with his lips. The other man breathed him in as he continued to pepper soft pecks to his skin. “I like you, Matt. A lot.” 

Matt hooked a finger under the stubbly chin and pulled his face up into a kiss. “I like you, too. Just so you know. If it wasn’t obvious.” 

When Ryan stood up his knees complained at being stretched and his lower back burned. Matt brushed his clothes down and grimaced at the stain on the side of his bed and along his floor. “Ew, fuck that’s nasty.” 

Ryan turned his head to see what he was referring to and let out a giggle. “That’s all on you, man.” 

“What? No! That’s because of you and your filthy mouth!” Matt was shouting, his face red. 

“Ssssh! You’re so loud.” Ryan pulled him into his side, quickly pressing a hand to his mouth. “You have roommates.” 

Matt’s voice was muffled behind his fingers. “Well, you’re sitting here saying it’s all my fault!”

Laughter filled the room, bright and happy. Matt threw himself onto the bed, and Ryan sat cross legged next to him, they let the room echo their chuckles until the sound died out. Matt rolled onto his side and stared up at Ryan, face glowing with a soft smile. 

“I’m like, really thirsty.” Matt let his face twist into one of slight discomfort. Ryan didn’t miss the hoarseness to his voice. “My throat is like, rough, man.” 

A slight red tinge worked its way back onto Ryan’s cheeks and he stood up, “I’ll get us both water, you clean up.” 

* * *

The sun began to set, pushing waves of orange and purple light through the window and into the room. Ryan looked up from his phone and then checked the time. Matt’s head was resting in his lap, the younger man tapping away at his Switch. He looked up through his glasses when Ryan ruffled his hair. “What’s up?” 

“I gotta head home. Walk the dog, make dinner, all that stuff.” 

Matt pouted up at him, “Alright. You got any plans for the weekend?” 

“I was planning on vegging out.” 

“Mmm, that sounds nice.” 

Ryan thought for a moment, slowly moving his fingers through Matt’s hair. “I mean, you could always join me.” 

Blue eyes closed, and then reopened with a smile. “Can I?” 

They got to work packing Matt’s things into a small backpack. They had really only spent time at Matt’s place, hardly going to Ryan’s shared house throughout the entire experience. It wasn’t that he was ashamed, but he was so uncertain of things that he didn’t want any questions being asked. Now, however, he was so happy with the way things were going, he really did not care. Matt gave a quick look around his room to make sure he wasn’t leaving anything behind and waved goodbye to his roommates. They didn’t ask where he was off to, just grumbled some sort of greeting and went back to what they were doing. When they got into the car, Matt had a dopey grin spread across his face. When Ryan saw it, he couldn’t help the laugh that busted out of him. 

“Why are you so excited?” 

Matt adjusted himself in the seat, “I don’t know. Sleepovers are just cool. I haven’t had one since I was a little kid.” 

Something in Matt’s voice, the excitement it held, made Ryan’s heart flutter in his chest. “Oh, yeah.” The car sputtered into drive and they headed to Ryan’s house. 

On the way there, Matt suggested going to a drive-thru restaurant for dinner. Ryan reminded him that he recently said he wanted to eat better, and that he knew the greasy food would make Matt feel horrible within the hour he ate it. The other complained, briefly, saying it wasn’t that bad or that he could handle it once in a while. The argument only lasted a few minutes, ending abruptly when Ryan entered onto the freeway. Matt gave him a sideways glare and sunk into his seat. The older man reassured him that he would cook something half-way decent when they got home. 

Matt was a little surprised at how stocked the cupboards were at Ryan’s house. Once they got in, Ryan set his stuff down at the kitchen table and put a large pot of water on to boil. Matt began to poke around the living room, trying to determine what was Ryan’s and what belonged to his roommate. He tipped a picture frame over and scrambled to put it back, inspecting it for damages. Slowly, the smell of garlic began to waft into his space and he found his way back to the kitchen. A small pot of red sauce bubbled away as Ryan salted the water in the large pot. 

“I didn’t know you could cook-cook.” Matt loomed behind Ryan as he stirred the sauce. 

Ryan breathed out his nose and opened a cabinet door to reach for spices, “Not really, but, you kinda have to figure it out when you live on your own.” 

Matt frowned a little, remembering just how much takeout they ordered when they lived together. They finished cooking together, Ryan giving Matt little instructions as he took care of anything more intense. The finished product - a big bowl of spaghetti - wasn’t anything too fancy, but it smelled impressive. Ryan set up the table, put out a plate, water bottle, fork and spoon for each of them and beckoned Matt over to the table. 

About five minutes into the meal the door creaked open behind them. Ryan’s roommate walked into the room and slid his bag into the corner by the entrance. He gave them a quick smile and wave, then sniffed at the air. Ryan noticed as he turned to peek into the sauce pot and offered, “You can have some. Plenty for all.” 

The three men sat at the table in a general silence, the dragging of their forks across the plates creating little sounds. When they were done, Ryan’s roommate collected the dishes and thanked him, telling the other two that he was going to play Call of Duty, if they wanted to join him. Matt met Ryan’s eyes and gave a little shrug, “I’d be willing to watch.”

It didn’t take long for Ryan and his roommate to get really into the game. The other man had bought a six-pack of beer on his way home and was more than happy to share with the two Let’s Players.  Matt watched in fascination as Ryan’s face lit up, his features being pulled up into a smile behind his beard. There was something beautiful about Ryan, something soft and attractive, that he never really let himself fully appreciate until this all began. He went to lean into his side, but sat up again when he remembered that Ryan’s roommate probably didn’t know. And that Ryan probably didn’t want him to know. 

Ryan must have noticed the way Matt moved away. The next time the loading screen for a round popped up, he shuffled closer to Matt, gently prodding his elbow into his side and cocking his head to motion him closer. The other waited, and eyed his roommate, before slowly letting himself lean onto his shoulder and watch the game from this new angle. A few rounds of Call of Duty later and the beers were drained. The other inhabitant of the home called it a night and waved to the two men, closing his door behind him. Muffled rock music leaked out from the closed door and into the living room. 

The two eyes the clock under the television and Ryan spoke, “It is getting kinda late.” He patted a hand on Matt’s thigh and stood up. “And I think I promised you a weekend of nothing.” 

When they got into Ryan’s room, Lego immediately bounded up onto the bed and curled into a ball. Ryan jumped into the bed with him, grabbing the dog’s head and wiggling his ears around. The baby sounds Ryan made at him brought a strong warmth into Matt’s chest, filling him with a newly heightened sense of admiration for just how lovable the guy could be. Matt sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed into Lego’s fur on his back, trying not to disturb the ritual that was taking place. When Ryan released the furry face, the pup turned his head towards Matt, upside down and licked at him. They played and laughed for a while, before the dog leapt off the bed and out of the room. Probably to eat or drink. Matt yawned, and stretched himself across the plushness of the blanket. Ryan walked to the door and shut it, then walked over to lay next to Matt. 

“So, you’re staying over? Right?” 

Matt nodded sleepily at him, crossing his arms and burying his face into the pillow he created. Ryan smiled at him and rearranged the bedding so he was half covered by the blanket Matt was laying on top of. The other whined and moved himself so he was under the cover instead of laying on top of it. They laid there for a while, their breaths evening out and becoming more shallow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Closing in on the end of the story within 5 chapters. I just want to give you a heads up!!   
Follow me on Tumblr @graventimes, same thing as on here haha


	26. Show Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aw, a little sleep over!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter I've written. Maybe not but I'm pretty certain.  
It's a MOSTLY nsfw chapter, but there are some sfw parts before and after all that biz! NSFW marked if you want to skip it - or skip straight to it ;)   
ALSO - youtube playlist at the end of the chap!

Ryan isn’t sure when he fell asleep, probably somewhere between one of Matt’s nonsensical half-awake ramblings and his quiet snores. The poor guy fought so hard against sleep, trying to stay alert enough to keep talking to Ryan, but eventually he lost the battle. Now, with the way Ryan was positioned, the first streams of morning light hit him in the eye. He covered his eyes and groaned, rubbed at them and sat up. Matt was still out cold, laying on his stomach with his face turned to the side. Gently, Ryan traced his hairline with the pad of his thumb, trying not to rouse him. After a few moments, Ryan laid back down and just took in the soft calmness to Matt’s face. Then, Matt’s eyes scrunched up, Ryan tried to stop his breathing. He didn’t want to wake him, but there was a soft groan and then Matt was looking back at him. 

A lazy, half lidded grin spread across Matt’s face and he took in a shallow yawn. “Mornin’.” 

“Mmm, good morning.” Ryan turned to lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. 

A warm pressure pushed into his side, and a heavy weight fell across his stomach. Matt was nearly curled up into his side, his arm draped across him. There was a soft press of lips to his jaw, then against his neck, behind his ear. He could feel the blush spreading across his face and he tried to calm himself down. Matt pressed his nose into the crook of his neck before beginning another assault, trailing back up from his neck to his jaw. There was a familiar press against his thigh. 

“Uh, we just woke up. Are you…” Ryan’s voice trailed off, “We just- yesterday.” 

Matt’s nose found a place to hide again, this time behind his ear, and he laughed. “I can’t help it Ryan! I’m a red-blooded, American man!” There was a hint of comedy in the southern accident he threw on, but Ryan could feel the want dripping through. Matt’s voice was always a dead giveaway to how he was feeling. 

_ **=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE ** _

Ryan turned his head to the side and kissed him, ignoring the strain it put on his neck. In the early morning hours, kissing Matt felt soft, right, and comforting. They melted into each other, Matt’s hand found a place to rest against Ryan’s chest, and Ryan cradled Matt’s jaw with his. A warm, wet tongue licked lazily into the bearded man’s mouth and he accepted it, let Matt explore all he wanted. It was sloppy, warm and damp between their mouths. A whine slipped out of Matt as he shifted his hips, his erection pressing into Ryan more urgently. 

“Sorry, fuck. We can stop. I’ll go take a shower.” Matt pulled his body away from Ryan, trying to scoot back across the sheets. 

He was stopped by Ryan’s hands along his jaw, pulling him into another slow, intoxicating kiss. “Don’t say sorry. Actually…” Matt’s eyes darted around his face, what was he going to say? “Do you remember that thing, you said you’ve done? Yesterday?”

Matt’s face burnt at that, he tilted his head up, trying to look anywhere but Ryan’s face. Red spread across his cheeks, up his ears and down his neck at the memory. 

_ “I just think about you Ry, you know how I am, I just want to touch you. Or have you touch me. My chest, my dick, my ass.”  _

_ “You want me to touch your ass?” Something stirred in Ryan’s mind, something more primal and in his lust hazed state he followed it. “Do you finger yourself when you think of me?”  _

_ “Fuck!” _

“Uh, um, yeah I think remember.” 

Ryan pressed a kiss to his chin, then rested his forehead against it. Matt’s body relaxed a little as Ryan placed a gentle pressure against a thin waist with his hand. “I was wondering if - uh, could you show me?” 

Now Matt was sitting up. In a flash he was cross legged and staring down at a confused Ryan. “Show you?”

The other man swallowed down a laugh and sat up as well. “Yeah. Well, I don’t know anything about it. I’ve hardly even thought about it. But I haven’t stopped thinking about it.” Ryan worried his lip between his teeth between sentences, Matt nodded along. “And I’d like to do that for you, if you wanted. I want to make you feel good.” That shot an electric wave right down Matt’s spine. 

“Fuck Ry, I mean, I don’t know anything about it either.” 

“But you’ve tried it?” 

Matt nodded, shifted where he sat. “A few times. I mean, I looked into it a little. When  _ things  _ became a possibility.”

“Things?”

“Yeah! Ryan. Things.” 

Ryan thought about it for a moment, “Oh.” He moved closer to Matt, pulling up onto his knees and kissing him. “Will you?” He kissed him, over and over again, until Matt was underneath him. “Will you show me?” 

Matt nodded up at him, clearly blissed out from the kisses, and rolled over to the bedside table. He pushed past a couple things in the drawer, loose objects like pens and papers, maybe a few pieces of candy. Ryan saw the glint of a metallic wrapper, almost definitely a condom or two, and then Matt snatched something and was on his back again. “Don’t make this weird.” 

Ryan sat back, falling onto his butt between Matt’s feet. “Wouldn’t _dream_ of it.” The end of the sentence rose into a giggle that died off when Matt was flat on his back again. 

Matt placed the object he was holding off to the side so he could pull his underwear down and off. He left his shirt on, some kind of security in being partially covered. Ryan took a peak at what the object was, a small bottle of lube - Astroglide - that was definitely used. His blood pumped so hard he could hear it, it was half empty, had Matt been using it that much? Then his eyes trailed back across Matt’s skin, one leg was bent at the knee with the foot planted firmly into the mattress and the other was sideways. Ryan could see a lot of the other man from this angle. He could see the way his cock was flush against his stomach, and the way his balls were drawn up, obviously turned on despite the embarrassment. 

“You look good.” 

Matt pursed his lips together and looked away, grabbing the little bottle and spilled some onto his fingers. He rubbed his thumb against his middle and ring fingers. “Stuffs cold, man.” 

Ryan nodded, trying to take in both the information and the sight before him. Matt had his arm outstretched all the way, his fingers gently pressing into his taint. Ryan moved again, his own dick pressing harshly into the seam of his pajama pants. He took them off quickly, trying to make as little movement as possible, and settled back down. Matt paused for a moment, watching Ryan, then pressed his head back into the pillows. His fingers went further down, the tips of them disappearing between the line of his ass. “You kinda gotta - I’m not used to it yet. I gotta go slow.” 

Long legs shifted again, spread open more so the reach was easier. He was more exposed this way, and could feel the other’s eyes staring right into his center. With the pad of his middle finger against his hole, he took a shaky breath and pressed in. He could hear Ryan’s sharp intake of air, but couldn’t bring himself to look. Not yet. The first finger slid in easily, a slick glide in, to the second knuckle. 

“Does it feel good?” Now Matt was looking at Ryan. 

“Uh, not really, not yet. Just feels like pressure.” Matt held eye contact with him, and slowly moved his finger, teasing both of them in the action. “It feels good when there’s a little more stretch, and when you press against your prostate.” 

“Oh, right. I think I knew that.” The air was thick, something about this display almost felt clinical, but insanely arousing at the same time. Matt watched as Ryan’s eyes drifted back down. “How many, uh, how many fingers can you take?”

  
  


“I’ve only done two.” Matt pulled his finger out and squeezed more lube onto it, spreading it out. He pressed the tips of his ring and middle fingers against his entrance, massaging the slick gel against himself. The blush was well down his chest now, his shirt was hitched up to just under his pecs, he was sure Ryan could see. 

Matt focused on circling his fingers, relaxing his muscles so he could press the two digits in. There was a sound, a soft ‘shh shh’ that caught his attention and brought his eyes back to Ryan. The other man was stroking himself through his underwear, lips drawn into his mouth and eyes glazed over. Feeling more encouraged, Matt let his fingers slip past the first ring of muscle, easing them inside and letting a soft groan out. The whispered ‘Matt’ he got in reply was enough of a reward and he began to find a comfortable rhythm. 

Ryan moved closer, until he was just between his knees. This way they could feel each other’s heat, the space between them intense and blistering. A thick hand was pressed into Matt’s thigh, urging his legs to part just a little further, asking him to let Ryan see more. He drove his fingers in just a little deeper with every slide, until he pressed up into the place he had only found a few times before. A shaky moan let Ryan know what was going on, and the rough sound of skin on fabric paused. “Is that it?” 

“Mmmm,” Matt tried to nod, focused on the bright feeling running all the way to his toes, “y-yeah.” He curled his fingers, beginning to alternate between a given slide against his spot and a rough press into it. The hand on his thigh gripped tighter, and then Ryan was up on his knees. 

“Can I?” 

Matt’s fingers stopped and he looked at Ryan’s hand, clasped around the clear bottle. His cock gave a heavy bounce at the thought, and he nodded. Ryan’s fingers were pressed against him almost as soon as he took his own out. The stretch was easy, since he had done a good job of prepping himself, but Ryan’s fingers were obviously bigger than his own. Matt grabbed Ryan’s arm, and let himself moan out, and wrecked ‘oh’. The older man went slow, almost tortuously, and tested different angles. 

“How do I-”

“Press up - ah, ah, fuck, Ryan.”

Ryan drank him in, head thrown back and skin stained red. The way his shirt was bunched up all the way under his armpits. The way his stomach twitched at the way he was arched up. The way his cock drooled precum up towards his bellybutton. His mouth watered, catching him off guard. Everything about the way Matt looks with his fingers up his ass looked delicious. He sped up, focusing on the glide of his fingers against Matt’s prostate. 

Matt could sense Ryan moving again - somewhere past the haze of pleasure. He didn’t realize Ryan was leaning forward until the intense feeling of a hot stripe being licked up his dick hit him. “Ah, fu- Ry- oh.” He shook his head a little, the entire sensation being a little overwhelming and almost too arousing. He chanced a glance down, surprised to see Ryan looking back up at him, eyes blown wide, tongue out and arm pumping. Ryan made sure to keep their gazes locked, licked and then sucked at the underside of Matt’s cockhead. Pleasing Matt this way made it feel a little more familiar, fingers pressed in and something to lick against. The novelty of the situation, however, fanned the flames at his core. A thin hand came to wrap around the newly wet dick, angling it up to press Ryan’s mouth, testing the waters. 

A whine escaped Matt when Ryan withdrew his fingers, but then his breath was punched out of him when two were replaced with three. It didn’t hurt, not at all with how slicked up his insides were, but Matt’s legs tensed with how he had to adjust. “Ry-” he was cut off by Ryan taking the head of his cock into his mouth. Just yesterday Ryan made a comment of how he wasn’t ready to do this, but now here he was. Three fingers deep and sucking on the wide head of Matt. He didn’t take much into his mouth, he slid his lips up and down just under the tip. 

Everything began to blur around the edges and Matt’s toes curled. “I’m gonna- ah, ah- gonna cum.” Ryan pulled his mouth away with a wet ‘pop’ and began to press in faster, nodding at the other man. Matt took himself into his hand again, only getting in three strokes before his vision whited out. He wasn’t sure if he was screaming or if he was silent, but judging by the way Ryan’s dry hand covered his mouth he guessed it was the former. No orgasm had ever cut him as deep as this one, tears sprung up in the corner of his eye and his body shook with a sob. His release spurted out strong, painting him all along his stomach. Above him, Ryan fisted his own dick, tumbling over the edge just seconds later. Matt felt the warm splash land somewhere along his hip, but he couldn’t even lift his head to see. 

They just stayed still for a while, breathing heavy, sweaty, tired. When Ryan pulled his fingers from Matt, there was a soft whine and a quiet squelch. He wiped his hand against the sheets, fine with the fact they were going to have to get washed even though he just did laundry two days prior. 

_ **=x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x=** _

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ryan peaked out of his room, making sure no one was around, and the two men wobbled to the bathroom. Matt was only in his t-shirt and Ryan sporting just his boxers. Ryan opened the curtain, letting Matt sit on the closed toilet lid as he readied the shower. The bigger man supported the other as he got into the shower, steam lazily rolling through the air. Ryan pulled the curtain closed once he was sure the other was safely in. Matt braced himself against the tile, legs still feeling like jelly but more stable than they were before. 

“Thanks.” 

“No, thank _you_.” Ryan chuckled, eyes a little droopy. 

“Mmm, I’m not going to say you’re welcome.” There was no heat to it, more ribbing than anything else. 

“You just did.” 

Matt rolled his eyes. “You can join me, I’ve seen you completely nude and you’ve seen me...” he didn’t finish the sentence. Let it hang in the thick air. 

After everything that happened, the shower was incredibly tender. Ryan focused on washing Matt, pressing a loofah gently against him and lathering him up. When Matt turned to face him, he pulled his face into a kiss. The other’s thin arms wrapping around his waist. They kissed, slowly, sweetly. No lust or arousal, just a soft press of skin on skin until the water got cold. 

They toweled off and got dressed, sitting on Ryan’s now stripped bed. Matt’s phone buzzed somewhere in the distance. After a moment of searching, they found it under a pillow and Matt answered it just before it went to voicemail. 

“Hello?”

Ryan waited, he could just barely hear the voice on the other end. 

“Oh, I’m good. Mmm, mhm.” 

Matt paced a little, walking around as he talked on the phone. 

“Dinner? Actually I was going to spend the day with my, my- uh, with - uh,” 

Ryan didn’t miss the confusion that spread across Matt’s face when he turned to look at him. He nodded at Matt, and there was an unspoken acknowledgment between them. 

“I was going to spend the day with my boyfriend.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what to say. What did you think?  
Follow me on tumblr!   
@Graventimes
> 
> Youtube playlist of what I listen to while writing this: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfzWo0HQN4AXnTb46dPr8xNBZGglfCYEI  
I will update as I discover more songs that fit the vibe I need or inspired chapters


	27. We Get It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Ryan go to dinner!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little softer, shorter, calmer. More plot than nsfw like the past few haha.

“Boyfriend?” Ryan’s ears perked up when he heard the distinctive stress on the ‘oy’ in the word. When Matt looked at him again, thumb nail worried between his teeth, he mouthed to him, ‘Arin?’. 

Matt nodded and Ryan heard the man on the phone continue, muffled, “Uh, bring ‘em! We were going to go back to that Japanese place. But it’s just me, Suzy and Dan. No pressure. I’ll just make the resi for five.”

Matt tucked the phone against his shirt, hiding the microphone against him. “Do you want to go to dinner with them? Arin, Suzy and Danny?” 

Ryan thought for a moment, this would be the first time they told these three people they were involved, and the first time anyone would know it had grown into a  _ relationship _ . While he was happy with how things were progressing, he still had some nerves about how it might change what people thought of them or treated them. However, these were three people they could probably trust more than most, and so it was a good way to test things out and see how it felt. “Sure. Yea, let’s go.” 

Matt smiled at him and kissed his forehead before pulling the phone back to his ear. “Yeah, I’ll bring him. We’ll come.” 

Ryan heard a faint ‘cool’ and a short discussion of what time they would meet. He tapped his foot against the ground as he waited for Matt to finish the call and update him. Matt was laughing, pacing around the room as they continued to talk. There were a few more ‘mmhms’ and ‘okays’ and then the call ended. The taller man walked back over to him and sat next to him on the bed. “So, dinner’s at 6.”

The dark haired man nodded at him and leaned into the other, pressing his weight into him. “Cool. I could go for some teriyaki anyway.” 

“You know,” Matt began, “we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” 

“No, let’s go. Let’s - uh- let’s be open about this, I guess. I don’t want to be weird about it.” 

“Are you sure? 

“Yeah, besides I get to show off my new  _ boyfriend _ .” Ryan fixed Matt with a wild, toothy grin, trying to stifle a laugh behind his teeth. 

“Oh god! That sounds so fuckin’ gay.” Matt spit, no venom behind it, all laughter. They chuckled for a while and Ryan pulled Matt into his, wrapping his arms around him. They paused like that, holding each other and breathing as one until Matt got up. “Fuck I think I have to go home to get a nicer shirt.” 

“What’s wrong with the one you brought?”

“All I packed is that dumb Jesus is calling shirt. I don’t want to wear that to a restaurant I like!” 

“The japanese place isn’t that fancy.” 

“Yeah, but, this shirt is a little too lame. Do you have one I can borrow?”

“Uh, I guess but most of my stuff is plain.” 

“Let me check!” 

Matt walked over to Ryan’s closet and threw open the doors. He sifted through the hung t shirts, hoodies and thermals until he hit the back of Ryan’s closet. Ryan’s eyebrows furrowed together when Matt made a little ‘ding’ sound and pulled something out. He held the shirt hanger and displayed what he had, a oversized, navy button up shirts with a same-colored embroidered design. 

“Dude, do you think that would even fit? That’s from a few years ago, I don’t know why I kept it.” 

“I can tuck it into my pants. It’ll be better than what I have.” 

  
  


\-----------------------

As the time got closer to 6 PM, Ryan could sense Matt getting more nervous. He fussed over the shirt, tucking it in and taking it back out a few times, and trying different ways to style it. Then he began to complain about his hair and how it was styled. Ryan followed him through his apartment, shrugging when his roommate cocked an eyebrow at the worrying man. He walked off after Matt when he went back into the bedroom and began to look through his closet again. 

“You good?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good, why?” Matt replied as he pulled out a simple gray shirt and held it up to his frame. 

“You’re kinda freaking out.” 

Matt put the tshirt back in the closet and sighed. “I’m not freaking out. I am nervous. We haven’t told anyone about this. Well, if you don’t count Leighton… and Harry and Jackson and Samantha.” 

“You told Sam?” 

“Uh, I alluded to it, I didn’t tell her details. Anyway, I just don’t know how people will react to - us.” He motioned to the space in between them. 

“You’re the one that dropped the ‘b-word’ bomb.”

“I know! Was, was that okay? By the way?”

Ryan nodded, walked closer to Matt and put his hands on the other’s hips. “Yeah, that was okay. Listen, I’m nervous or whatever too, but, we’re still Matt and Ryan from Supermega. It’s not like we’re different people because we’re dating or whatever.” 

Matt twisted his mouth to the side and nodded, tucking his head down a little to give Ryan a soft kiss. “Thanks.” 

Ryan checked the time on his phone and pulled away from Matt. “We should brush our teeth and head out. You still have morning breath.”

“Fuck you, so do you.”

\---------------------

Ryan drove them to the sushi place, trying to get around the usual California traffic. They ended up being a few minutes late, but hopefully no one would mind. They parked in the lot and locked the car, pausing before heading into the restaurant. Ryan cupped a hand around Matt’s shoulder and patted him. 

“You good?” 

Matt hummed an affirmative, looking much more confident than he did earlier in the house, and began to stride over to the entrance door. Ryan smiled and sped up a little to catch up. When they got inside they told the host they were meeting a group and were escorted over to the table, happy to see their friends’ faces. 

“Matt!” Arin exclaimed, rising from his seat to grab his hand and pull him into a hug. “Oh, and Ryan!” 

Ryan smiled and waved at the group. “Yeah, I was a little offended you didn’t invite me directly. Nice to see ya, Suzy, Danny.” 

“We just know Matt loves this place.” They all sat again, finding their way around the table. Arin gestured from Matt to Ryan, and back again. “Boyfriend. Funny, I get it. Hah.” 

Matt’s face heated up slightly at the mention and he cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, we’re not really telling a lot of people yet. So, don’t go spreading that around.” There was a slight humorous tone to his voice, but the comment came off relatively seriously. 

Arin laughed and then Dan slapped his arm, making a face at him and then gesturing back to the other duo. Arin looked back and forth between them as they read their menus, and then over to Suzy who was giving him the same ‘duh’ look that Danny had. Seconds ticked by that felt like hours to Ryan and Matt, who sat reading their menus with their lips pursed. 

“OH! Oh shit. Like, not a joke.” 

Ryan put his menu down and laughed. “Yeah, like not a joke.” 

Suzy shoved at Arin again, scolding him for how loud he had gotten. “That’s great. How long?” 

“Uuhmm…” Ryan trailed off and turned to Matt who only shrugged at him in response. “Not long. I guess officially like a day.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Danny chuckled and leaned forward into the table. “That’s new.” 

Matt clarified, explaining that things were made  _ official  _ basically a day ago but they had been involved for a while longer. Suzy had a few questions, and once the initial nerves disappeared, Matt and Ryan were more than happy to answer them. Arin observed more, chiming in every once in a while, and Dan listened and asked what they were going to order. The group laughed at his remark and focused on their menus to choose their meals. 

The rest of the dinner continued normally, they chatted about business and their shared interests. When they finished eating and the plates were collected, they debated whether or not to get dessert. They decided to get it, and kept talking happily as they waited for the sweet finish to their meal. Matt laid his arms across the table as he talked, excitedly explaining his latest project to the others at the table. Ryan watched him as he spoke and smiled, incredibly happy to see him at ease and acting more natural. The shorter man laid his arm next to Matt’s on the table and slowly slid his fingers in between the other’s. 

When dessert came to the table, the conversation turned back towards their relationship. Arin scooped a rather big bite into his mouth and asked, “So you aren’t telling people, right?”

Matt shook his head and swallowed, “Not yet. It’s new and we aren’t sure how people will react. I just think it would be better to wait.” 

Danny smiled at them fondly, “Yeah that makes sense. Trust me, we get it.” 

They finished up and waited for the check. Arin insisted on paying for it, saying it was his treat. Ryan tried to offer him a portion of the bill, but Matt was happy to accept a free meal. The group walked out together and hugged each other goodbye. Arin pulled each of them into a big hug and reminded them that if they needed anything, to just ask. 

Matt and Ryan walked back to the lot and stood beside Ryan’s car. They waited there for a moment, just standing in each other’s presence. Ryan smiled at Matt, “See, that wasn’t so bad.” 

Matt nodded and leaned against Ryan’s chest, tucking his head down to rest on his shoulder. “Yeah. That was good. Thanks for helping me calm down.” 

Ryan turned his head to press a kiss into Matt’s hair and then back away so they could get into the car. “Of course.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all! I really hope you're enjoying it.   
We are getting close to the end! I would guess 3 more chapters before Not Like Us is over.   
If you like this you can follow me on tumblr @graventimes  
And if you want to support me, you can at ko-fi.com/graventimes  
You absolutely DO NOT have to, its only if you want to tip me and support the work! It would be super cool if I got a couple coffees out of this.


	28. Do You Want To?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the dinner, things are looking pretty good!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! This is the penultimate chapter! We didn't make it to 30 but I don't want to drag things past where they feel they should naturally end. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me. I love ALL of you so much. Thank you for all the comments and support all this way. I truly appreciate it SO much.   
If you wanna chat and keep track of my process and new possible projects, why not follow me on tumblr @graventimes  
Like the work and wanna support me? Absolutely not necessary but if you do it is so helpful and so amazingly received. ko-fi.com/graventimes

Matt was giddy the entire way back to Ryan’s apartment. A crooked, big smile wiggled across his face as he talked to Ryan to entertain him as he drove. His entire body was wound up from the adrenaline of exposing this important part of his life, and the excitement of the formation of their new relationship. Ryan noticed the tapping of his foot against the floor mat, so he reached over and smoothed a hand over the thinner man’s thigh. 

“You good?” 

“Yea! Yes. I think I’m just happy. Sorry, I’m fine.” 

“Don’t apologize. I’m happy, too. You know I just don’t react the same way to things like this.” 

“I know.” Matt covered Ryan’s with his own and gave it a little squeeze. “Should we tell other people? We don’t have to but - we did promise Leighton we’d tell her if anything changed.” 

“Um, right. Right. I forgot about that.” Ryan pursed his lips together and hummed as he thought. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell people, he had never been very public about any of his relationships. “I guess we could.”

“We don’t have to.” Matt’s smile softened and he squeezed Ryan’s hand again. “I’m fine with it being private. Or going slow. Whatever works.”

“No, no, we can tell people. I just only want to tell people we’re close to.” 

Matt nodded happily, that was more than enough for him. Telling a lot of people openly or even the public wasn’t something he really had any plans on doing either. For the rest of the ride Matt drafted a text to Leighton and the Tucker brothers. He frowned when the message was too long, and again when he found it too curt. At the next long red light, Ryan snatched the phone and took a selfie with Matt, captioning it with ‘official’ and hitting send. 

“RYAN!” Matt scrambled to take the phone back and look at the message. “Why? How is that - what.” 

“You were overthinking it dude! I just got it over with.” Ryan turned his attention fully to the road and waited for a green light. “And it’s only to those three, who cares.” 

“I do!” A ping came from the phone and Matt unlocked it in a hurry. “Oh. Jackson said ‘cool’ -” another noise rang out “- and Leighton sent the eyes emoji?” 

Ryan chuckled and continued the drive home, sneaking short glances at Matt periodically as the blue light from his phone highlighted his face. Matt clicked the lock bottom and slid the device into his pocket. 

  
  


\-------------------

Two weeks. It had officially been two weeks since Matt used the ‘b-word’ to refer to Ryan. All they were doing today was recording, and of course fourteen days wasn’t too long a time, but Matt was excited nonetheless. He watched as Ryan broke down the microphones and packed them away, thinking about how the past few days had gone. Nothing really changed in the way that Harrison, Jackson, Carson, Leighton or the others that they told treated them. They either got a nice comment of approval or a shrug and a gentle reassuring acknowledgement. Matt talked with Arin a little more about being open about it, weighing the pros and cons of being public, private or selective in showing their affections. Both he and Ryan agreed that being open with their friends felt good, but they would wait to tell people like their family, and aimed to keep it out of the public eye. 

The couch let out a puff of air when Ryan let himself fall onto it, arm coming to rest behind Matt’s shoulders. “That should about do it for today.” 

A loose string in Matt’s pants caught his attention and he began to pluck and twist at it. Ryan watched as Matt played with the thread, obviously turning the gears in his head and holding in his thoughts. He pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, the coarse hair of his beard rubbing against the soft skin of Matt’s jaw. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just thinking.” Matt pressed his lips together and then exhaled. “I don’t know, it’s been like two weeks and I was just wondering if we’re supposed to do something special.” 

“Pfft, you gettin’ sweet on me Watson? Want me to take you on a date.” 

Matt huffed and rolled his eyes, “Okay, nevermind.” 

“No, sorry. I just didn’t think about it. I thought a month was when you went out or something.” Ryan pulled on Matt’s arm to pull him closer. “I like that you’re sweet on me.” 

Matt let the corners of his mouth curl up into a soft smile. “Sweet on you? What is this the 50s?” 

“Oh fuck you.” Now it was Ryan’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“Sorry, not on the first date buck-o.” 

They let out a hearty chuckle, and Ryan pressed more solidly into Matt. He pressed their mouths together again, cupping Matt’s jaw and feeling the skin heat up under the pads up his fingers. They slide down the slender neck, moving to hold just behind his head and pull him in. A warm, dampness filled the air around their faces, hanging heavy in the room. Matt’s hands snaked up Ryan’s arms and held fast just under the short sleeves of his t-shirt. Heavy lids stayed closed when they pulled apart and Ryan pressed his forehead to Matt’s. 

“Mmm,” Matt ticked his tongue, “okay, maybe we skip the whole going out thing? Is your roommate home?” 

Ryan let out a bright laugh, tilted and song like. “Dude.” 

  
  


* * *

**=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE **

Only a moment after the door closed behind them Matt was pulled tight to Ryan’s side. The shorter man chuckled, trying to kick his shoes off as the taller kissed up his neck. “Matt wait a minute.” 

They put their stuff away and Matt practically ran to Ryan’s bedroom, giving Lego a single pat on the forehead ass he trotted off. The other man could only laugh as he watched the figure of his partner disappear around the corner of the doorframe. He slinked off to the room after him, throwing a milkbone into the livingroom to distract his pet. Another laugh shook his chest when he saw Matt, laid out on the bed, arms up and hands opening and closing in a ‘come-here’ motion. 

Over the past few days, they learned more about what the other liked. Communication had gotten easier, and it felt good to talk things out and fool around after recording sessions. Matt caught on very quickly that Ryan’s love of ripped reactions out of him didn’t stop in the recording room, he took almost any opportunity to surprise him or push him out of his comfort zone. Within reason of course, Ryan would do something unexpected or new that would have Matt laughing, slapping his hand away or whining. 

Matt moaned into the other’s mouth lazily as Ryan’s thumb caught his nipple. Ryan used his other hand to pull Matt’s head to the side and expose more of his neck. The atmosphere grew thick as they continued, sliding their mouths together and their clothes off. Pale skin was burning red as thick hands trailed down Matt’s sides, over his stomach and between his thighs. Matt pulled his legs tight together around Ryan’s hand and hungrily licked into his mouth. A firm, final kiss was placed on the corner of his mouth and then a trail began down his chest. 

This was another thing Matt learned; Ryan liked to get his fingers inside him, loved the sounds he could pull from him this way. Matt had only tried it a few times alone, and then introduced it to Ryan only a few days ago. But, Ryan proved to be a fast learner and very dedicated to getting good at it, getting Matt on his back almost every other day after work. Ryan pressed one hand to Matt’s knee, urging him softly to spread it, and his other hand smoothed down his hip bone. A breathy laugh sounded out from above as his beard hair tickled the dip of Matt’s hip. 

The slide of the first finger was easy, they were both used to it and in sync enough to make sure Matt was relaxed and ready. Even still, Matt let out a dreamy sigh that lifted at the end. Ryan closed his eyes, savoring the sound and pushed in a little further. There was a gentle pulse he could feel around his finger, through the damp, soft heat. He worked up a comfortable pace and pressed his lips into Matt’s thigh, no words needed past the action. Matt, on the other hand, was never the silent type. Mindless babble was beginning to form on his lips, broken parts of ‘Ryan’ and ‘so good’ falling out. It was clear from the beginning that Ryan liked to get Matt talking while they were intimate, and the taller man made it easy for him. 

Matt screwed his eyes shut when Ryan pressed his finger up into his prostate. He switched between pressing into it directly and gliding past it as he pumped his arm, drawing a beautiful whine from his partner. When he withdrew his finger Matt’s thighs tensed, knowing what was coming. Two fingers was still a stretch but it didn’t come with any discomfort. Matt sighed out his praise at Ryan’s technique, loving how he opened him up. “S’good Ry. Fuck you’re s’good.” 

Long hair shook when Ryan nodded and smiled, starting to move his fingers in and out faster. “You look so hot like this. You always do. You’re so warm here, too.” The room brightened at Matt’s flush, the praise helping amplify the sparks of pleasure coursing through him. Matt whined high in his throat and took hold on Ryan’s free hand, trying to drag it from where it was holding his hip towards his cock. He stitched his eyebrows together when heard a tutting from the man between his legs and the grip got tighter. “Be patient.” 

“Ry, please. I’m so close.” The words came out higher in tone than he wanted and he cursed himself for sounding so needy. He pouted down at the bearded man but turned away when the fingers pressed particularly hard into his spot. Craving more stimulation he attempted to sneak his own hand down to grasp himself, but the Ryan saw it and took hold of his wrist. 

“Matt, just wait a little more. You can wait.” His fingers began to draw filthy slick sounds from where they were buried. He kissed the fingers of the hand he was holding onto and began to make the slide in even faster. There was something so satisfying and incredibly erotic of having Matt like this, melting into a puddle around his fingers and trying to hold in his ‘ah’s and ‘fuck’s. 

Matt pulled his back up and away from the bed, grinding down onto Ryan’s fingers almost subconsciously. “I’m gonna cum. Pl-ah please Ry. Fuck-” Ryan watched the way he was twisted above the sheets, skin stained a dark red with how close he was. It was beautiful to look at, and he wanted to watch him struggle just a little longer. He began to hook his fingers up, giving up on the slide in and out and focusing rather on the ‘come hither’ motion. Matt’s cockhead was leaking, a small pool of precum had gathered around the base. The smooth skin of the tip was made even shinier by the neglect. Just how far could he take this?

“Ry- Ryan, dude it’s a lot. Please, I feel like I’m gonna die.” Ryan smirked a little at the dramatics and curled his fingers again. He was taken aback a little when Matt began to gasp, thighs shaking and all sounds lost in his throat. Ryan thought he heard Matt say he was ‘cumming’ and he was pulsing, throbbing around him. But he was confused at the lack of fluid, and he hadn’t touched Matt’s erection at all. The fingers slowed, sliding cautiously against the soft mound inside, and then coming to a stop. 

He snuck back up Matt’s body and buried his nose in his hair, holding him as he shuddered. Curiously, he dragged a finger against his boyfriend’s length, but his hand was swatted away when Matt whined from overstimulation. Matt caught his breath, and began to laugh, hormones flooded his bloodstream making him giddy. Small kissed covered Ryan’s face and he couldn’t help but laugh along with him. 

“I didn’t know I could do that.” 

Ryan smiled for a moment, but then it morphed into a confused expression. “Do what?”

“Prostate orgasm. I think. I’m not sure there’s so many names and the internet is confusing.” 

Ryan nodded and laid on his side. He raked his eyes up and down Matt’s body, taking in the splotchy color he had caused. When he got to Matt’s pelvis he pushed his mouth to the side in a soft frown. “Wait so you didn’t cum?” 

“Uh, yes and no. I definitely felt great.” Matt stroked Ryan’s cheek and a devious grin spread across his face. “So good Ryan. I could be ready to go again, maybe do something else if you give me a few minute to cool down.” 

A soft puff of air was pushed out of Ryan’s nose and he chuckled. “Yeah?” 

Matt kissed into the soft flesh of Ryan’s neck and gave him a soft bite before drawing his lips near his ear. “D’ya want to fuck me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last one. It might be nsfw, it might be sappy, it might be lame, idk! I haven't finished it.   
Like I said earlier if you wanna chat and keep track of my process and new possible projects, why not follow me on tumblr @graventimes  
Like the work and wanna support me? Absolutely not necessary but if you do it is so helpful and so amazingly received. ko-fi.com/graventimes  
I really just want to say thank you all again. I would not have continued this even to chapter 2 if you all didn't send me such lovely encouragement


	29. Airport Sushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, does he wanna?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter.  
Again I have to thank everyone for supporting me. I cannot put into words how amazing this journey has been. I'll leave the words I can get out in the end notes.  
My name is Enoch, my tumblr is @graventimes, and this has been Not Like Us.

=x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE =x= NSFW STARTS HERE 

Matt kissed into the soft flesh of Ryan’s neck and gave him a soft bite before drawing his lips near his ear. “D’ya want to fuck me?” 

Out of pure instinct, Ryan rolled his hips forward to try and grind against Matt’s leg. He pressed his forehead into Matt’s shoulder and whined. “Matt, don’t fuck around.” 

“M’not. Do you want to?” A slim hand traveled down Ryan’s side and dipped below the waistband of his boxers. It ghosted over the flesh there, on his thigh, feather light touches leaving bright, electric sparks along his skin. 

Ryan breathed out, shaky and warm into Matt’s shoulders. “Do YOU want to? Are you sure?” 

Matt chuckled softly and moved to kiss Ryan chastely, letting the gentle press of his lips linger for a moment. “I’m all wound up and stretched out. Seems like as good a time as any.” He laughed again when Ryan fixed him with a disapproving face, his eyebrows knit together and the corner of his mouth pulled tight. “Yes. I want to. I, - I trust you.” 

Ryan’s face burnt at this, the intimacy of the statement adding to the heat in the room. Their mouths slotted together again, closed and innocent. Matt pressed forward into the kiss, pulling Ryan closer to him and peaking his tongue out to touch against the other’s lips. Ryan opened his mouth in response, welcoming Matt to search out his mouth. 

Softly, Ryan began to press Matt down, onto his back. He gazed down to look at Matt, and the way he was pressed into the rumpled blankets, the way the shaggy lengths of his hair were splayed out and damp in some places. Something about the sight made his heart swell, and he smiled at the other man. Matt smiled back, and ran his hands up the larger man’s sides, up his waist and up to his shoulder blades. He pulled him down to his level and gave him another small kiss. “Like this?”

With a quick nod of the head, Ryan was off him, leaning off the side of the bed to rummage around in his bedside table. When he was back over Matt he leaned forward to press their foreheads together as he shimmied his boxers off. Matt watched as he fumbled with the small square of foil, trying to open it. His fingers slipped a few times before finding purchase on a corner and tearing the package open. He tried to dismiss the clumsy maneuver with a wave of his hand before pressing the condom to the head of his cock and rolling it down. The bottle of lube had rolled onto the floor during their early escapades, Ryan groaned when he spotted it and rolled over to reach for it. He poured some of its contents onto his fingers, rubbing them together before pausing. “You’re sure?” 

“Uh, yes Ryan fuck. C’mon!” Ryan laughed as Matt began to squirm and use his feet to try to drag Ryan back to him. He dipped a hand down below Matt’s legs to prod a finger against him, the cold of the liquid causing him to shudder. Matt cursed at him again, muttered something about manners, and then pressed himself back again more solidly into the bed. Ryan worked the lubricant inside him, checking to make sure if he was still stretched. Cool air replaced him as he sat up more solidly and worked lubricant over his own length. 

The bed shook a little as Ryan moved closer to Matt, placing his hand under his thigh to urge it up and out. Matt flushed at the way he was being manipulated, a thrum of pleasure ran through him as he realized just how easily Ryan could move him around. A wet, warm presence made itself known at his entrance and Matt gazed down to where Ryan was positioned between his legs. The air was punched out of his lungs as Ryan began to press in, he let out a staggered string of “ahs” that caught in his throat. His hands scrambled down to press into Ryan, who stiffened a little at the sounds Matt was letting out. 

“Fuck, did I hurt you? You ok?”

“Mmm, yeah, mhm. M’fine.” Matt tossed his head back, neck straining at the angle. “S’fine. Just different. Don’t stop though.”

Ryan swallowed, his throat was tight with nerves as he tried to focus. “It already feels so good Matt, I’m not even halfway in.”

This drew a laugh from the other man. “Are you fuckin’ bragging about your big dick?” 

“No! God, what the fuck.” Ryan leaned forward as he laughed as well, moving his hands to grip around Matt’s waist and pull him closer. He pressed forward into Matt, drawing deep groans out of both of them. It took a few moments of drawn out breaths and gentle movements until Ryan was bottomed out inside Matt. “Fuck, Matt.”

“Mmm, you gonna move?” Matt looked up at Ryan, his cheeks glowing an even deeper red than before and his eyes blown out. Ryan searched his face, mesmerized by the way Matt’s face skirted the line between overwhelmed and euphoric. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Matt’s lips before drawing his hips back and then slowly pressing back in. They started moving together lazily, Ryan moving inside of Matt as he pressed his lips to different parts of his face, and Matt letting his hands roam over the expanse of the other’s back. 

Matt let out a frustrated groan and pushed Ryan up, “Hold on, lay down.” He got a quizzical look in response, and Ryan stopped moving his hips. “Just lay down.” 

The older man did as he was told and flopped down onto the bed, watching as Matt stretched out his legs and moved closer to him. “My leg was cramping.” Ryan nodded and smiled as Matt crawled on top of him. He held his breath as Matt reached between them to take a hold of his cock and line it up with his hole. This way, the slide in was much easier. Matt seemed to know just how to angle himself, and gasps as the head of Ryan’s cock brushed up against the mound inside him. “F-fuck. Listen, I don’t know if I’ll last much longer.”

Ryan shook his head and laughed, “Me either.” Matt began to rise and fall awkwardly, trying to figure out how to position his legs so he could support himself. Once he found his rhythm he was able to move faster and with more confidence, hunching his shoulders and letting his head fall forward as he bounced on Ryan. The long haired man’s toes curled, and he let out a shaky moan. Wanting to help and be more involved, Ryan gripped into Matt’s hips and tried thrusting up into him. His feet found purchase in the bed and he was able to use the new leverage to push in a little harder, faster. 

Blue eyes flew open and then squeezed shut. Matt let a string of curses fall from his lips and lolled his head to the side, body slowing down a little as he let Ryan fuck up into him. A wide grin spread across Ryan’s face as he scanned his partner for more signs that he was feeling good. The hold on the thin man’s hips grew tighter, and Ryan began to speed up even more. “Fuck, Ry-Ryan, s’really good.” 

“Mm, yeah? God, you’re so good Matt.” Ryan was always a little more subdued vocally than Matt, and that carried over into the bedroom. Now, he wanted to make sure Matt knew he was enjoying himself, and how good he was doing. “You’re taking me so well, look at you.”

Matt glowed at the praise, whining high and letting his head fall back. Ryan drew his eyebrows close together again as he felt the warning signs of his climax begin to make themselves known. He took Matt’s length into his hand and tried to stroke it in time with his movements, stuttering before finding a successful rhythm. “So good. So fucking hot. You’re going to make me cum. Fuck Matt.”

“Ry, please. I’m gonna cum.” Matt leaned forward, hands splayed out across Ryan’s chest to keep himself balanced. The hand wrapped around him sped up, and Matt shook, curled in over himself and let out a strangled moan. Ryan kept moving, pumping his dick and thrusting up into him as he came. The pulses around his own erection caused him to groan and jerk his hips harder into the tight heat. Matt let out more broken whines, sounding on the edge of being over stimulated. The frantic “ahs” and gasps were enough to finish Ryan off, and he dug his thumb into Matt’s hip as his thighs shook below him. 

They waited, Matt struggled to hold himself up and Ryan willed his hips to stop moving. With a heavy sigh, Matt let himself fall to the side, his head narrowly missing coming into contact with a hard shoulder. Ryan laughed, letting the bright, high notes fill the room. “FUCK! That was pretty good, huh?”

“Pfft, yeah Ry, pretty good.” 

=x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x= NSFW STARTS ENDS =x=

“Fuck no! You are NOT eating that!”

“I don’t know Ry. It’s one of those things you always hear about. How bad can it be?”

“I am not letting you eat sushi at some random ass kiosk at a fucking airport!”

“If it tastes bad I’ll throw it out.”

“No! First of all, its disgusting. Second of all, they want $16 for a California roll.” 

“What else are we using that Patreon money for?”

“Matt.”

“Ry. I’ll be fine.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and walked off to a different stall in the airport lobby. A burger was fine to get, but sushi at an airport? Matt basically had a death wish. When they were both done ordering and picking up their food, they met again and began to wander off to their gate’s waiting area. 

The airport was crowded, more crowded than usual for this time of year. Thankfully, there were two seats across from each other relatively close to the gate they had to be at. They ate, quietly chatting with one another as the time for their flight approached. Matt finished eating first, he only bought the one roll and a bottle of water. He watched Ryan as he picked at his fries, grumbling to himself about the long flight they had ahead of them. Matt laughed, he traveled a lot more often than his partner, so a 6 hour flight didn’t seem too bad. 

Matt kicked at Ryan’s shin, trying to get his attention. Ryan looked up, cheeks puffed out from the fries he was eating. “Hey, Ry, we’re really gonna tell em, aren’t we?”

Ryan swallowed and scratched the back of his neck. He paused as the man sitting next to him got up to take a phone call and walked away. “Uh, yeah. Listen, we’re going to your place first right? So if it doesn’t go well, can we skip tellin’ my folks?”

Matt frowned and thought about the stories Ryan had told him about his family. “Yeah of course. We don’t have to tell anyone, you know?” 

Ryan took a sip of his soda and cleared his throat. “No. No, I want to. I really want to. It’s been a while now…”

“Yeah, like four months.” 

“... and I don’t like keeping you a secret. I want them to know.” 

Matt smiled wide and toothy and moved to sit next to Ryan. “Whatever happens, it’ll be okay. We’ll just end up back home in Cali anyway.” 

Ryan leaned his head onto his shoulder and chuckled. He looked up at Matt’s face and traced his gazed along his features. “Hey, I, uh, wanted to tell you - “

A buzz rang out and then a muffled voice spoke out through the speaker system. “Now boarding flight 2619 to South Carolina, section B.”

“Oh, shit that’s us let’s go.”

Boarding a plane was always a bother. The slow line into the aisle, trying to heave your bag up into the overhead compartment. This plan only had two seats on each side, so the aisle was wider but it did little to help their situation. Matt pressed a hand gently into Ryan’s back urging him forward down the lane. Once they were seated, Matt sank into the rough fabric of the chair and slid his carry on bag under the seat in front of him. 

They waited for the safety instruction and take-off procedures to end before allowing themselves to get comfortable. The gentle roar of the plane helped to calm Ryan’s nerves and he smiled when Matt rested his head on his shoulder. Big blue eyes looked up at him, searching his face. “You wanted to tell me something?” 

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing important it can wait.”

“Mm, no, what is it Ry?” 

“Uh,” Ryan sat up a little straighter, bringing his hands together and turning towards Matt. “I don’t know, listen. It HAS been a while now. Like, not that long, it's only been four months since we told anyone we were DATING dating. But, like - fuck- Matt, I love you.” 

Matt blinked up at him and then laughed. “Pretty gay dude.” He leaned up to kiss Ryan, cupping his jaw as he did so. “I love you, too. I do. But! You fuckin’ scared me man, I thought you were going to tell me you had some secret wife back home or that your stepdad was going to kill me for all the jokes I make about your mom.”

They laughed together, Ryan leaned back into his seat as a wave of relief washed over him. A woman two rows back ‘shushed’ at them, and they tried to quiet their chuckles. Matt reached over to take Ryan’s hand in one of his own and tapped away at the in flight movies with his other. 

“Aw, dude, they have fuckin’ Delta Farce!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here are the words
> 
> I wrote Not Like Us because I had this idea for a 5 chapter fic for this ship  
I didn't know what it would turn into.  
Right now, Not Like Us clocks in at about 58,000 words. That is more than I have ever written for anything in my life.  
This story has come with me through some pretty rough times in my life, as have all of you, my readers.  
Thank you so much. I know I shouldn't be so emotional about a fanfiction but HEY, whatever.  
If you wanna support me, Not Like Us or any of my future works you can at ko-fi.com/graventimes


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